These Are My Marriage Learnings
1. Moving Is Expensive.
After my husband and I got married, we had to move to a different state for his job.
We had plenty of money from our wedding, but we decided to use most of it on our honeymoon because we knew he had a job and we thought it would be easy for me to find one.
We ended up racking up a lot of debt in the first few months we lived at our new place.
You really never know what the future holds, so it is very important that you are prepared for any situation.
2. Your Debt Becomes Our Debt.
Before we got married, I had no debt at all because I was lucky enough to have parents who offered to pay for my education and our wedding.
My husband, on the other hand, had about $50,000 in student loans and even more in credit card debt.
When I finally got a job, I had to take on the responsibility of paying off that debt because my husband was paying our bills with his paycheck.
I was really looking forward to leaving college without debt.
But I ended up having to pay off his debt anyway.
3. You’ll Probably Find New Bad Habits You Didn’t Know They Had.
Even if you’ve known your significant other for many years, you will probably find a new habit that you don’t like.
When this happens, you have two choices:
- learn to live with it or
- say something to try to change it.
This is where the “nagging wife” starts to come out.
If he really loves you, he will try to change.
4. You WILL Have to Clean up After Each Other.
He’s going to leave his underwear on the floor and you are going to leave a dish in the sink.
You’re both going to leave a mess in the bathroom and you aren’t going to want to clean it up.
If this becomes a problem, like it has in my house, you may need to come up with some kind of schedule.
Do the laundry every Saturday or take turns cleaning up after dinner.
The more organized you are, the less you will have to fight about.
5. You Need to Communicate Your Feelings.
You may think that he knows that you’re mad, but he may not realize the subtle hints you’ve given him.
Generally, husbands and wives want to make the other happy, so let them know exactly how you are feeling.
Another tip that may help:
The most effective conversations to your relationship will be the ones that are calmly discussed. Then, if you have a solution to the problem, let them know.
You may feel uncomfortable at first, and they may get angry at your request, but at least you are talking.
The worst thing you could do is keep your feelings hidden until you can’t take it anymore.
Never go to bed angry and always try your best to forgive them quickly.
6. Your Family Doesn’t Need to Know Everything.
Before I got married, I went to my parents for everything. I told them about my day, asked them for financial advice, and wanted to know about their lives as well.
When I got married, I realized that I had a new family to worry about now: my husband’s family.
Sometimes, your family doesn’t need to know about your new family drama, and sharing this drama could cause more problems between you and your spouse.
7. Women Want Men to Show Love in a Different Way.
Generally, men want to have sex way more often than women do.
This is because sex is the way a man knows a woman loves him.
Women don’t necessarily make the same conclusion.
A woman knows a man loves her when he does things for her.
Whenever my husband gets me a glass of ice water, cooks dinner, or brings home small gifts like chocolates or flowers, I am reminded how lucky I am and how much he loves me.
These little acts are what many women need to get this reminder.
8. If You Think You’re Having Problems, Try to Spice It Up.
In the first year of my marriage, I noticed that the romance in our relationship had dwindled.
I kept remembering the beginning of our relationship when he would dress up and take me out on romantic dates, and I really missed that passion.
We had been working on telling each other about our feelings and communicating effectively, so I told him that I was worried that we would never be romantic again.
The next week, he planned a special date I will never forget. I woke up to a letter giving me instructions to be ready for our “mission” for the day.
He took me on a spy themed date.
We had “evasive driving training” at a go cart track, “firearms training” at a gun range, and a “dinner like a spy” at a formal restaurant (martinis shaken, not stirred).
There are lots of other date ideas you could try.
Take a look online and find one to fit the two of you.
9. Time Alone Could Do Wonders.
Sometimes, you might feel like you just need some space.
That is perfectly normal, especially if you’ve been living alone for a while.
Even if you’ve been living with your family or friends, it may take some time to get used to living with one another.
Take a weekend trip to your childhood home or spend a night in separate rooms doing things you like to do.
10. No Matter How Much He May Be Bothering You, You Will Miss Him when He’s Gone.
My husband has been driving me crazy, but no matter how much his bad habits bother me, I always miss him when he has to go out of town on business.
Those Are Mine – How About Yours?
As a bride, what’s been your realisation in marriage?