We’re like most young couples enjoying their first years of marriage together.
All of our friends are getting married and having kids, and nearly every weekend we have some sort of predetermined commitment that involves either one or both of us attending an event or going out of town.
We also both work full time, and have our own interests that take up different weeknights, such as softball and racing dirt bikes (him) and running marathons (me).
It’s not uncommon for us to come home, eat dinner in front of the TV, and then fall asleep on the couch while we “watch” a movie on any given weeknight.
This type of schedule, while never dull, means one thing: while we spend a lot of time together, not a lot of it is quality time. We rarely have a weekend where we are able to kick back with each other and reconnect, and we don’t spend a lot of time having deep, thought-provoking conversations anymore. Instead most of our conversations revolve around work, what event we have coming up next, and who took out the trash last.
Which is why one week out of the year we go away together, just the two of us.
This vacation time together is mandatory, and it’s easily one of the highlights of our year, largely because it comes stocked with benefits to our marriage.
Forced Time Together
When you take a vacation with only your spouse or significant other it means that you have time to really focus on just that person with no distractions.
It’s easy to get caught up in spending all of your free time attending events, spending time with your children, and hanging out with friends and furthering those relationships; in the meantime your relationship with your significant other ends up sliding to the backburner.
Vacationing together helps alleviate some of the stress that comes with not getting enough one on one time on a regular basis.
Allows You To Unplug
Work, email, social media, text messages, phone calls… we are constantly plugged in, which means we are constantly receiving reminders that someone, somewhere needs something from us.
We almost always plan our vacations out of the country, which forces us to turn our phones off for a week (international phone charges are a real pain) and forget about every nagging, pesky email or text message that needs to be answered.
Even if you don’t leave the country, however, it’s good policy to just unplug while you’re on vacation and let everything go to voicemail. That email can wait.
Gives You Time To Reconnect On A More Intimate Level
Let’s be honest, getting intimate with each other can get tricky once you’re married and settled into a routine.
Maybe one of you goes to bed earlier than the other, maybe one of you gets home late every night, or maybe you have kids that command your attention… whatever the reason it’s easy to be so drained by the end of each day that sex is the last thing on your mind.
Getting away for a week allows you to catch up on sleep, get rejuvenated, and connect with your partner on a more intimate level again.
Staying intimate with each other is crucial to having a healthy marriage.
Sends The Message To Your Children That Marriage Matters
You may be wary of leaving your kids for a week, and I don’t blame you.
But by taking the time to vacation with just your spouse you are sending the message to your kids that your marriage is important. It has nothing to do with wanting to be away from the kids and everything to do with having a desire to maintain a close and personal relationship with your significant other.
We need to show our children that our marriages are something that should be revered and upheld.
Let’s You Do Things YOU Want To Do
Family vacations will never be the same as spousal vacations, because your family vacations revolve around keeping the kids happy and entertained.
While this is a great way to bond with your kids and strengthen your familial ties, you need time to do the things that you want to do as well. By vacationing with just your spouse each year you’re able to work in more adult activities.
For instance, instead of spending the afternoon at Disney World you can spend the afternoon wine tasting. Or you can skip the bunny slopes and snowboard on black diamond ski runs to your heart’s content, with no worry about if the kids need to go down for a nap or not.
Tapping into your own personal needs and wants every now and then is important for your own mental well-being.
What Are You Waiting For? Get To Booking Something!
Even if you don’t have a full week to get away together each year, try to take a few days a year to sneak away with just your significant other.
The time you spend reconnecting with your spouse and your shared interests, sans the kids and the work commitments and the obligations you have to anyone else, will help your friendship and commitment to each other – which is the basis of any good relationship – stay intact.
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