But I Thought I Wanted A Perfect Relationship?

You want the perfect relationship, don’t you?

But what is it that you really want?

Fact is, you don’t want a perfect relationship, at all – you really want your own level of security and want it with the person you’d like to spend the rest of your life with.

Depending on your gender, security has a different meaning and therefore affects your behaviour and the interplay you have with your partner.

Be Open to Discover your Perfect relationship with your partner

Be Open to Discover your Partner

And that’s where your first relationship friction starts to fester away.

 

How Do You Both Get What You Want?

This will sound easy … BUT … in reality, it’s a tough challenge for many couples, new or old.

It’s open, honest communication with no hiding or BS – no agendas!

Most of us might think we’re open.

Most of us are kidding ourselves too because we view the world through our own rose coloured glasses which tends to taint reality and truth.

 

So How Do We Start To Get What We Want?

Small steps, enquiring questions and a mutual lust for the same journey, with a destination to gain your security.

So try this on to start.

I’d like to hear in the comments whether you could even do this and ask these:

  1. Babe, can we try something new in better understanding each other?
  2. So, I’m hearing that we all view what security means differently.
    • That was news to me so can we swap our meanings so we both understand where each other’s heads are at?
  3. Now that we ‘think’ we know each other’s security, let’s ask each other 3 questions about them
  4. OK, this might take a little longer but let’s map out some baby steps in how we each help the other get that security, Deal?
  5. Here comes another 3 … The first 3 thoughts the other has in helping the other get theirs

You see where I’m headed here?

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Without really discovering each other and understanding each other, you’re just going to head towards a vague and unknown destination, in life.

 

There’s Stumbling Blocks Along The Way

Even getting through that question stage might be a challenge too.
Depending on your partner’s view of you, they might think you’re being controlling or even manipulative – and that’s OK as it’s new and sometimes fresh and different ideas are initially thought of in a negative light.

If that’s the case, pull back and just start with one item on the list, work through it so your both have a deeper understanding.

That way, the true intention of the process gets revealed, enjoyed and, hopefully, allows to move to the next item … and then the next.

Isn’t it better to travel together along the same path and towards to the same life goals?

Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

  • Do you know your partner's security?
  • Would you be willing to ask the real questions?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

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Martin stumbles through his own relationships as best he can and passes on the good, the bad and learnings to you. When he's not having his foot in his mouth, he enjoys a good wine and a cuddle with his wife.

Martin – who has written posts on GeekandJock.