Long distance relationship and feeling lonely, please help

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  • Profile photo of AnonymousUserAnonymousUser
    Participant
    Post count: 19
    #2358 |

    I've read some wonderful things on your blog about long distance relationships and I'm grateful you have this Male Brain area too since this has to do with my boyfriend.

    I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy and have been doing this for 2 years now. We love each other so very much but the distance gets to us sometimes.

    While we cope pretty well, most times, Ryan confided in me the other day that the loneliness really gets to him, at times. So much so, that he can't think of anything but me. He was telling me that he gets depressed and then it starts affecting his work too.

    So I'm wanting to ask The Male Brain what sort of things can I suggest to Ryan to take that horrible edge off his loneliness? What sort of things did you do to keep sane when you were away from Pam? Any help will be appreciated so we can eventually come together and be a couple.

    Thank you so much for any long distance insights

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    This is a great request and one that many people in Long Distance Relationships have challenges with. And thanks too for bringing it to light.

    I certainly do feel for you and Ryan as I just rethought what Pam and I went through and it is certainly very similar. We all know there's a lack of physical contact so we need to make the best of it until the magical time of flesh to flesh comes our way.

    • Do get both of you onto Skype
      • Video and Voice enables you to connect far better
      • You can do things the other can see – I'll leave that to your imagination as to the possibilities and the potential stress relief too
      • Doing this regularly really does help. Seeing your loved one is the best
    • Open discussion of the good, bad and ugly of both your emotional sides bonds you both closer
    • I'll presume you've both got mobile/cell phones too. Send short messages. You can use either SMS or one of the free message to message apps. Pam and I do this even now that we're married and living together – it just brings a smile to your face and memories of your sweetheart.
    • Be mindful and chat about the fact it's unfair to be so hard on himself. It's a situation that will eventually be overcome so he needs to get past it and think positively
    • I've said before, distance relationships, in my opinion, allow you both to know each other far far better since you are communicating on a deeper level. That's something most other people take many long years to gain.

    I hope that helps and other readers will hopefully chime in with their own suggestions too.

    You might also be interested in our new eBook Creating a Great Long Distance Relationship – go check it out.

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    Just an update on this one.

    I really recommend you to also check out the following posts on our site that concern Long Distance Relationships:

    Students in Long Distance Relationships
    Top 5 Ways to Make It and Survive
    How to go the Distance
    Will LDRs really work for you?

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