What to do

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  • Elisabeth
    Post count: 0
    #5105 |

    Hi there, I find myself in a situation that is frustrating. I met this guy 2 weeks ago, hit it off instantly and have been spending a lot of time together. I like him, he likes me…simple. BUT, due to a work promotion he is being sent to another city (2 hour flight away). We had a chat in which he has made it clear that he likes me but that he thinks it is pointless to pursue \”us\”. In his mind, long disctance does not work, to me it would. He has been disappointed in the past. The job he is taking on is massive, he tells me that he won\'t really have time for a relationship. Yet, we still see each other, and chat all the time. I guess I am frustrated because I think it could work and he doesn\'t. Do I now just swallow the bitter pill and stay his friend with the hope that as time goes on something will develop? (As he will be coming back once a month at least and also would like to move back here in 2-3 years). Do I just cut ties altogether? I realise he needs space. I just really like him! I am a divorced lady with a child. He is 36, I am 31. What would your advice be?

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    Hey Elizabeth,

    Thanks for the question and visiting our little patch of heaven.

    Could I suggest you follow your nose on this one? That is to say, maintain contact, the chatting and you'll already be in a long distance relationship by it's very nature. Give it some time and see how things pan out.

    Typically, a lot of people view long distance relationships as unworkable. That is until they're in one with someone that want to be with and that's the point you both need to come to. Whether it's going to work for you as well as him … you might be surprised.

    I'd suggest at this stage that it is still a waiting game so you both can settle into the change of situation.

  • Elisabeth
    Post count: 0

    Thank you very much for the quick reply! And yes, am quite enjoying wandering through your little patch of heaven.

    What you are saying makes sense. I just am not a very patient person, so this is going to be a new challenge for me.

    That is what I am hoping for, that once he has settled into his new surroundings etc. that he may start entertaining the possibility of something more. Fingers crosses :-)

    Many thanks…might just drop you another line at some point and let you know the outcome.

    Have a lovely day.

    Take care.

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    Long distance relationships require patience, as it turns out. You're about to find that out :)

    Please do come back and let us know progress too – that would be fantastic!

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    Hey Elizabeth – so what happened with you two? Come on back and fill us all in on the details.

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