To trust or not to trust advice on how to react

  • Author
    Posts
  • Yvonne
    Member
    Post count: 42
    #27256 |

    ok so I am dating a navy man. this weekend we will be three months in. It has seriously been an amazing time. He is away right now training for combat. he still texts and communicates any and every chance he gets. We met online . he has already said he loves me and that he knows what he wants out of the relationship and before he left he said he wanted to to do the whole parental meeting. every time we talk he mentions how he doesn't want to loose me and how he loves me more than i do him. when we first started dating we both mentioned our pasts and how we feel about cheating and games and stuff . He was very repetitive about not wanting games because he older now (28) and wants to settle down and something permanent .

    Sunday we spoke for a bit less than usual because well he ill and had to be sent to the ER . this was my recommendations since he was having some chest pain issues.  i logged on to my older e-mail and noticed i was still getting messages from the dating site we met at. A month into our relationship i had asked him if he had been on the site he said “no because there was no point he found what he wanted”. I said okay and checked and it was true.

    Before he left to training we spent three weeks together he kept saying and asking if i was sure i could handle it and that i would always have an out, he would understand. The last weekend we spent together when we had to go our separate ways he was really upset and told me he would  do everything to try and keep contact and make time and that when he got back everything would be much better again.

    sunday i went on the site and saw that he was on a week before our last week together. and since had not been on. i went through my texts and saw that that day he was on we spoke all day and he kept telling me how much he cared and was afraid that i would change my mind. since that day and since he left he has made every effort to communicate , show how much he cares, and how much he loves me. even though we can only communicate certain days due to training when those days come he spend his entire day in the one place on his base that gives off wifi.

    Basically what i want to know is should i worry that he was on the site , should i freak out, get upset, i want to bring it up to him but i know my wording when i am emotional unless pre planned comes out very bad. I care for this man and besides this he has been nothing but amazing.

     

    any and all advise welcomed

  • Martin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    ok, a couple of things, Yvonne:

    [1] From reading these events, you've kind of suggested to me that you didn't place trust in him in the first place. It's one thing to see if he is still on this site but it's another to then check again sometime later. Just saying

    [2] It could be a completing innocent mistake.
    I'll give you an example. I'm dating here in Thailand and have met a dozen of so lovely ladies and gone a few steps further with 3 of them.
    I told every one that I'll continue searching for the right lady until I find her. So I continued answering these dating site message from other women.
    I was seeing one of these ladies and noticed similar to you so I asked her about it, out of curiousity. She actually asked her daughter to remove a profile picture – so innocent until proven guilty of something more than it is.

    Action time: Ask the guy. Plain and simple. Life is too short for BS and suspicion when there is no cause for it.

    Just ask, clear the air and move forward, OK?

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.