[Richard YiapMember]

TOO LITTLE

Not enough time. Too much to do!! Under pressure with lots of priorities?? Does this sound familiar?? Typically, work and business takes up such a big chunk of time such that there is little or not enough for the family. Worse still, the marital relationship easily goes dry once the busyness of life with kids in school gets into gear.

TIME IS A CONSTANT

Classical Physics decrees that time is a constant. So if time is a constant, we cannot have too much or too little or save time or gain time or make time or manage time. (how can a constant be managed?) Its interesting to just note our language in relation to time. We all have 168 hours a week and 1440 minutes a day. When you look at those numbers, they are quite substantial. For example, can you not allocate 1 or 2 hours a week in your schedule for your son/daugher and or your better half?

Time is all about how you allocate it or use it.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH TIME

Your perception of time is all about your relationship with time. If you live THROUGH TIME ie running hard with a big schedule and appointments banked up, then you will perceive time under pressure, fighting to get through your day. If you live IN TIME and be present to what you are doing without being anchored to the clock, you will be more relaxed and enjoy what you are doing.

An example of relationship with time is this : I am never Late. I just don’t arrive at the agreed time, so I manage the situation by calling. So, if traffic is heavy and I will arrive past the agreed time, I am not stressed.

There is a law called Parkinsons Law which goes like this : Work expands according to the time allocated to it. So, if you don’t set limits to a task, it will take longer.

TIME TIPS

1. Value time as a great resource. Respect it, treasure it, use it wisely

2. Relax. Do your best. Then whatever is done is done and whatever is not done is not done. Accept the situation and this eliminates stress.

3. Strive to live IN TIME more. ie be fully immersed and present when you are doing something without clock watching. Our Indigenous people live like this.

4. Allocate your time according to your priorities ie important/not urgent things. Schedule time for your loved ones.

5. Set time aside to just BE

6. Be ruthless and say NO to the urgent/not important things.

7. Progress towards working less and playing more. (yes, this is possible if you choose to go down this path)

Finally, pick something you have always wanted to do but never got round to it. Then set some time in the next month or two and make it happen.

[GaryParticipant]

Hi Richard,

Nice article on time management but I don’t see what this has got to do with parenting, as mentioned in the title. Maybe good to be more precise there.
I do look forward to your Parenting articles. Some nice points on time managing too.

[Richard YiapMember]

HI Gary,
Thanks for your feedback. For parents living together, working 2 jobs to pay a big mortgage, running 2 or more kids around all their activities, its all about time management as they are all too busy to have significant quality time together.

Let me tell you about a friend of mine Paul. He is a wonderful warm hearted person with 3 children. He and his wife work and Paul’s weekend is taken up running around his children all over the place. He is doing his duty, yet deep down there is something missing. He is a devoted father and life for him is providing for his family.

Our fast paced modern world robs us of intimacy, the time, space, presence to connect with the soul of our loved ones.

Hardly any father I talk to (I talk to lots) has a regular schedule to date their children and spouse. Hence, that hardly happens. When you read a number of fathering books, scheduling a time to date your child is highly recommended. A date with your child does not have to be every week. It can be once a month. Naturally, when they get to their teen years, they may not want to go out with you at all. That’s OK. When this happens, its about finding what they want to do and taking them out.

For separated fathers like me, having a weekly time with my son depends on visitation arrangements. Because I travel all over Australia, the arrangement I have is to see my son during school holidays. I am in contact with him each week by phone. For someone like me, time management is more about me rather than my parenting.

Thanks again for your feedback Gary. It helps me put in context what I am writing. I should do a general article on Roles of Fathering today.

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