This is a guest post by L.C. Cooper. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guidelines here.
I went on a date two years ago with a beautiful, raven-haired realtor from a big Midwestern city.
She was adorable, talked at-length about her family and on our fist date she mentioned that her family once traveled overseas as part of their church group.
Christian Dating … and The Man
As a Christian I was smitten, and as a man I was attracted to my new friend.
Her intelligence and composure came through on our second date when a guy at the restaurant decided to approach in the middle of our meal and invite her to play a game of pool – he had the cue still grasped in his hands.
I quickly insisted we were eating but drunk and obnoxious he selectively ignore my appeals, at which time my date give him a few choice words about his manners and that was that, he left us alone.
That night I went to drop her off at her two-story walk-up apartment and went to give her a hug, which she turned into a kiss.
I was attracted, but as a Christian with very specific rules about how I’d like to approach intimacy I was immediately taken aback.
Attractive, well-spoken and from all appearances a very sweet girl, but like many Christian men encounter in the dating world, women are increasingly pulling the triggers on creating sexual encounters.
I don’t mean to imply she acted inappropriately for a woman.
I mean that as a Christian both sexes should have a discussion on what each other feels comfortable with in terms of affection.
Should she have asked me were it okay to kiss outside her apartment I very well might have agreed, but in the moment and under the circumstances I was compelled to retreat.
I’d felt uncomfortable.
Since that date I’ve found Christian women who have become my friends first and some girlfriends after a period of time.
Last year I joining a Christian’s dating site and found my current girlfriend who I felt comfortable communicating with about my plans for out future sexual encounters.
She is beautiful and caring and because we met online we understood what was expected of both of us when it came to communicating what we wanted in the short and long term.
Open and Honest
That first date wasn’t to blame.
But women, like men, should always be careful to understand their partner’s beliefs and limitations. It’s more for mature people with young heart than anything else, don’t you think?
Sometimes the clearest thing – a goodnight kiss on the second date – might be a bridge too far.
I like being a Christian and I enjoy Christian dating – I think that my friends from church and in the community will also make good husbands and wives. I just hope that they are willing to speak up for what they want and communicate their desires, as well as ask questions of their dates.
Communication is always the key.