There’s a Warning First
Hopefully, you’ll still be OK in reading the full post though.
Simply understanding can help him immensely
Warning: If you’re concerned by words like penis or erection, don’t go any further and read some articles on love and relationships instead.
Stand By Your Man: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding ED
Erectile Dysfunction, ED, is really stressful for guys.
What gets talked about less is how stressful it can be be for those guys’ girls. “Women…tend to blame themselves first, thinking its because they have done something wrong,” according to Andrew McCullough, MD, director of sexual health and male infertility at NYU Medical Center.
Women often take the blame and then they start to wonder if their guy has the condition all the time or just with her. Lying in bed, her mind starts to go a million miles an hour. What if he doesn’t find her attractive?
What if it’s something about her that gives him this condition? Afraid to bring it up for fear of causing more stress and embarrassment, ladies will just keep silent while their minds take them down anxious roads with no one to calm them down. Next time you’re wondering what to think, don’t let negative thoughts spring up.
Instead, educate yourself so that you can save yourself and your partner unwarranted stress.
What It Is And What Causes It
Did you know that even too much excitement can cause it?
Erectile Dysfunction is a man’s inability to get and keep an erection long enough to have sex.
At one point or another, every guy has experienced this often secretive problem.
Whether it’s the stress of a new partner or too much whiskey, any given guy can say he’s had trouble in the erection department one time or another.
Sometimes a guy feeling too turned on and too intimidated can cause him to lose his erection.
That old saying, ‘mind of its own’ is important to keep in mind.
When it comes to consistent ED, there are other culprits to pinpoint.
Stress, depression, prolonged marijuana or alcohol use can all contribute.
The American Foundation for Urologic Disease cites 18 million men in the U.S. alone have chronic erectile issues.
The Difference Between Occasional And Chronic Erectile Dysfunction
Occasional erectile dysfunction is part of the unpredictable and undefinable brain-penis relationship that seems to be straightforward but very rarely is.
But chronic erectile dysfunction is rarely related to sexual arousal.
Instead, the chronic side of things is most usually connected to undiagnosed health problems in the male. High cholesterol, heart problems, and diabetes can all play a part too.
Likewise, medication for these problems and for high blood pressure can also be to blame.
How To Approach The Topic With Your Man
Approach your guy with a mindset of helping him
You’ll be the eventual winner as well as him
It’s sad but true but chronic ED affects young men and old men alike, though especially young men take it as a blow to their egos.
The topic cannot go unaddressed, though, as it will only get worse — the guy feeling inadequate and the woman feeling adequate and no one talking about it. Or, the girlfriend, acting out of the anxiety that it’s her, could ask all the wrong questions.
Approaching the topic with questions such as, “is it me?” “do you not find me attractive” will just send your man running the other direction feeling attacked and misunderstood. The result can be the end of the relationship.
Instead, ladies, the first step is to not take it personally. The next step is to wait to discuss the issue outside the bedroom. Put emphasis on the problem as physical one and not as a sexual one.
One of the most relieving things about chronic dysfunction for men is to find out that 1 out of 10 men have it.
The next most relieving thing to both guys and girls is that erectile dysfunction is treatable through medication and therapy.
If you can depersonalize the issue and be logical and open, you’re just going to make it that much easier for yourself and your man.
Over To You
Now that we’ve reached the bottom, here’s what you can do next:
- Did this give you an insight into ED?
- Do you have a better understanding on what ED is and what you can do if your guy gets it?
- And would you be comfortable talking to him about it?
And thanks for reading too – I’ll see you in the comments.
About the Author:
Jill Law is a guest blogger for Apexrx where you can find tips on staying healthy and saving money.
Jill – who has written 2 posts on GeekandJock.
Bellaisa
I like the tip about talking about it outside of the bedroom to make it more physical than sexual. Your right, talking about it inside of bed could just cause embarrassment and hurt feelings or attacked and misunderstood.
Martin
Most definitely, Bellaisa.
As a guy, I certainly do admit that sometimes the equipment might not work as you’d like it to. I’ve personally had a few of those moments. It is a mindset thing too. As a 53 year old, I understand blood vessels as well as being overly tired and, not to mention, red wine consumption too.
The very last thing a guy should be too worried about is performance. There’s always another day or night. The understanding and love of your partner is vital though.
Martin recently posted..Love – I’ll Keep Coming Back For More
Regan
I think the most important thing for women to take away from this article is that usually it has nothing to do with us. We tend to blame ourselves for our husband or boyfriend’s problems in bed or elsewhere. Totally unhelpful and unnecessary.
Martin
Thanks for being brave enough to comment on a touchy subject as this one, Regan – hey, pop over to Gravatar.com and get a nice profile pic to display here.
Unless it’s a chronic medical issue, erectile dysfunction is just that, a minor hiccup in the works. But given it has to do with a man’s weapon of mass seduction, it’s a sensitive topic since it (in his mind) suggests his very manhood is at risk/fault. Ouch goes the ego for a lot of blokes.
And that can rub off on the partner who starts taking on some guilt. Answer: Guys need to loosen up, take a chill pill and start talking …. openly.
Martin recently posted..How To Rekindle and Fix Relationships With Lingerie
Mariella Lombardi
I totally agree TheGeek, this issue needs lots of communication and understanding. I think most women do try to understand this if it happens and won’t make into a huge issue. At least I wouldn’t.
Martin
That’s one of those areas that women ‘think’ they understand, Mariella.
The lack of a properly functioning penis is certainly an area that is the most touchy of subjects for a guy – that concerns his very essence and manhood.
This is one area that needs the utmost of care, lashings of positivity and abundant communication – all that and not making it into a big deal as well :)
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Nancy Shields
Great information here – I will pass this article along….
Nancy
Martin
Thanks so much, Nancy.
While it might be a touchy subject for some, problems in the bedroom can certainly lead to problems outside it, don’t you think.
And given a guy usually detests admitting to problems with the ‘wedding tackle’, this is some great information for the ladies to arm themselves with so they can be better at understanding and even detaining the right sort of questions to ask.
Martin recently posted..Why Women’s Sexuality Has Always Been Destroyed By M&Ms