Good Girl, Bad Boy
What is it about society that tells us only a good girl and a bad boy will ever get dates?
I know that those of you out of the dating game will have a hard time remembering those tumultuous years with anything but a wince, but people still out in the dating pool live through this every day.
The ups and downs of dating, trying to be in the right place at the right time, and trying to figure out what is going on in the other person’s mind all lead up to a very stressful experience.
Yeah, What About The Girls?
A lot has been said about good guys and friend zoning, but what about the girls?
Where is this good/bad girl dynamic leading as a culture?
According to media influences, in order for a woman to become a wife she should be sexy but not sexual. She should know all the tricks in bed but be a virgin. She should show off her ‘assets’ but never let any guy too close.
She should be, in essence, a tease.
Then Christianity Comes In
What happens if you are a young Christian person and you are trying to date? Well, you get the whole ‘no sex before marriage‘ thing, but what does that mean?
- How far does that go?
- Does that mean no kissing?
- No touching?
- Or just not going ‘all the way’?
The Guy’s Role
The guy’s role is clear. He should be in charge all the time.
He should always know what he’s doing and never be lost. He should be the instigator in everything. He should also be looking for a good girl who is a Christian and has never been with a guy.
The girl’s role is a little murkier.
She should never take the initiative. She should look nice, but not show anything. She should always be quiet and demure and never let a guy know she’s attracted to him.
She shouldn’t have any sexual urges.
She should control any sexual urges her boyfriend may have.
It is her responsibility to make sure they remain pure.
What the heck?
Combine all that with everything the world is throwing at them and you have a conundrum of epic proportions.
Let’s not forget, too, that different personalities come into play.
Some guys don’t want to lead all the time.
Some girls have a higher sex drive.
Does that make them bad people?
Is it reasonable to think that only good girls and bad boys have a chance at love, romance, and relationships?
Of course not!
Personally I know many couples, happy couples, who turn these stereotypes on their heads. What we have to remember is that people are all different. Being flexible in your thinking can only help and not hinder. Once you force a person to fit in certain roles – that is when you have issues.
Changing the way the world thinks won’t happen, but changing the way you think can.
If you are in the dating pool, or even if you are not, keep in mind that people are just people.
No one fits every check box in a list. What matters is finding someone who complements you: the yin to your yang, the black to your white.
Whichever way you put it, finding your perfect match is less about becoming what you should be and more about being honest with who you are.
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