Happiness comes in some strange packages but more on that at the end of this post.
It’s a heart breaking reality to face up to that you’ve lived within someone else deceitful world that you thought was actually love.
A punch in the guts and a shock to anyone’s belief system that such evil intentions exist in this world.
But do you know the final piece to the puzzle?
Even after the separation, the mind games and lies continued.
- Barefaced fabrications of not even knowing my address
- Using her own son to seed information to my son
- Sending me a short iPhone email ‘by mistake’
- Do you know how impossible it is to ‘accidentally’ send a new email to the wrong person whose name is unlike any of the intended recipients?
- The list is far longer but you get the idea
While I admit I can’t understand the agendas or reasoning that goes on inside her head, I’ve now gotten to the point of forgiveness and I’m grateful to her, for the learnings these silly games have taught me.
The Rock Journey
I was fortunate to be recommended towards Reiki Healing, in my path to purge years of what many others see as subtle mind-control and manipulative behaviour, from someone I honestly trusted and loved.
The process itself was indeed one of liberation and during the session, I saw her in a light of forgiveness – from me to her.
This, oddly enough, came from the power of mindful visualisations, through crystals.
The technique which was recommended to me and I used was visualising her and myself surrounded by the cleansing power of white and gold light.
I saw the threads, strands and cords I understood that connected us.
This was about decoupling and dissolving them and giving gratitude and forgiveness – release, forgive, move to the positive and be empowered to move on.
All the things I needed to do, to reclaim my own power and positive life-force which had been slowly sucked from my soul.
The Black Obsidian crystal was my key.
Meditation, mindset and gratitude time.
Decouple and Dissolve
Thick cords joined torso, mind and heart.
Thin ones intertwined as well from our auras.
- I don’t claim to understand why you’d lock me into a mental box of darkness, for almost half our marriage.
- You’ve done it before to Husband No. 2 and albeit to the two others
- You’re obviously not even aware of the impact of such actions on another human being that only wants mutual love and respect.
It’s been dissolved and lay on the ground of white and gold.
I can only forgive you and send you gratitude for the lesson I needed to learn and grow from.
- Half our marriage consisted of my being locked in a mental box. Well, the lack of basic human and relationship intimacy extended for an even greater period.
- Including 7 months of this solitude prior to our separation
- You know full well the ramification of this on a man and husband
- Especially one seeking only love from you and return it
That cord too is now in a melted pool.
As much as I visualised the dissolving of the connected heart cord, it remained.
It was the last remainder, despite several of my meditation / visualisation sessions. I saw it in my waking sleep.
While thin, it remained connected in my visions.
…. Until I did the step of doing and to then know …
I picked up the phone, made a number of phone calls, one of them being to my Family Law solicitor.
The Heart Cord simply dropped from my heart, in my mind's eye. Thank you!
The Final Cord Dissolved
I now have a wonderful anouncement to make, though to some it might sound a little bizzarre.
It is with great pleasure that I announce the countdown to the official divorce of
Martin James Cooney
Pamela Nicolette Allen
is now in motion. Fuller understanding of responsibilities, rights and my future path.
Rightful Passage and Transitions
All cords and connections lay in a pool of gratitude, surrounded by white and gold.
I simply forgive you.
I am learning to just be grateful to you, for the experiences you have given and taught me and the learnings that I needed.
I hope you find whatever it is that you think your happiness is.
The End …. The Beginning.