Unless You Do Something About It!
You’re never going to attract your ideal partner and here’s why.
Let’s check out the reasons:
- You’re stuck in your own importance
- You’re closed minded
- You only ‘think you know’ how to communicate with the opposite sex
- You’ve got secrets that you yourself can’t admit to – let alone being able to willingly share them with an up and coming ideal soulmate.
- You’ll give up on something you’ve never tried before – Especially when you get peer pressure from people who are in the same (and limiting) mindset.
BUT
I’m going to show you how to be totally successful in attracting (and keeping) your ideal partner …. providing you have the desire to listen and take action on what I’m about to share with you.
Is That a Deal?
Here’s the Secret ‘Love Life’ Sauce
I’ve used this myself and I’ve taught the method to others – and they’ve had success without even realizing what they’ve done.
This isn’t BS – it will work, if you take action.
Step One:
Get Out A Big Sheet Of Paper That Will Fit On Your Kitchen Table
Step Two:
Draw A Circle In The Centre
- From this circle, draw out at least 7 radiating lines and at the end of each, draw an attached circle
- Inside the main circle, write the words ‘my ideal partner’
- Inside the other circles, write the following words
- Sex
- Emotional
- Physical
- Spiritual
- Mental
- … keep adding those core (and important) attributes
Start off with the core basics – this is a starting point.
Yours should be a little different, depending on your core values
Step Three:
Expand On These Qualities
As an example, let me give you an idea for the Mental one. But these words need to come from you and what you think are ideal, not mine.
- Mental
- No Baggage
- Intelligent
- Humour
- Understanding
- Independent
- …. you get the idea?
You get the idea?
Now expand on all of them to pinpoint who you’re wanting to meet in your life
Ok, now we’ve got the framework, here comes the real challenge step.
Step Four
- Expand each second tier bubble/circle out with at least 2 other bubbles/circles i.e. using the above example, Understanding needs to be expanded upon with at least 2 of it’s own satellite circles. Ask the question, what does Understanding mean to me?
- Now expand each of those third tier circles with at least 1 but hopefully more.
This list will then enable you internal brain network to be focus on who you actually seek. No longer will you wander through the dating darkness, ending up with less than optimal relationships.
Step Five
- Revise the list as you progress
- Nothing in life is set in stone
- People and goals change
- Experience shape outcomes and desires
- Be OK in better understanding yourself
- If you find an area really isn’t that important to you, cross it off
- If dating experience slaps you in the face and shows you you’ve forgotten something on your list, go ahead and add it it and expand on it
Step Six
- Enjoy life
- Find your Ideal Partner and Perfect Match
Over To You
Now that we’ve reached the bottom, here’s what you can do next:
- Did you or do you tend to ‘find that someone’ without a real idea (randomness)?
- Do you know your own inner values?
- Do you make lists for any other things, that help you in life?
- Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.
And thanks for reading too – I’ll see you in the comments.
About the Author:
Martin is a DTE, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company - as well as coffee. I’ll talk to almost anyone …. ok, anyone….
Martin – who has written 129 posts on GeekandJock.
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Janis Binder
I really like this subject matter; This is just in time for me, although I am not looking right now but it is nice to get a head start. I wish I had this list years ago perhaps I would have landed the Ideal Partner. Sometimes it seem like you are stumbling in the dark hoping to hit the jack pot! I recently converted to being a
Catholic abd that is going to be a Game Changer for me. The baggage part would certainly play a part in my decision making. Baby Mama Drama, sorry can’t do that one. Yes, sexual will also be important in two ways, I don’t want to jump in bed on the first, second or third date. I want to start off as friends,
Second, nice if he wanted to know how to please me as I want to please him.
These are just some of the things I would like in a partner. I realize that no one is perfect and we all have our flaws. Over a period of time we can make some adjustments. The great thing here is now I have the Frame Work of the start of a beautiful relationship.
Martin
I love your honesty, Janis and it actually all helps other people to understand their situation too.
As for being Catholic, it’s not a game changer – it just is and needs to be rolled into who you are and the type of person you need to attract into your life. All is good in the world of Janis.
Knowing a little bit about you now (and you know this already), your second point on how to please each other is just getting solid foundations of communication so you both know ‘what’s what’, yes?
Martin recently posted..Rules For Dating When You’re Over 50
Mike
The title of your post had me formulating what the “cliche” points would be, but I’m pleasantly surprised by the depth of your list. And they are so bang on. Though it shouldn’t come as a surprise as I’ve come to enjoy frequenting your blog because it is fresh. This secret love sauce is a new concept I will need to try with my wife.
Mike recently posted..Text Your Ex Back: Review
Martin
You probably guessed, Mike that the title was a bit of a dare.
You can always attract what you want in life. You just need to be willing to do something different if what you’re doing now isn’t working. Most people won’t allow themselves to venture outside their present comfort zone though.
Mitch
hahaha well, I’ve had heaps of ideal partners :)
OK, if you meant long term or permanent Ideal Partners then I guess I’m going to have to use some mindmapping like you point out.
Really interesting post though.
Felicia
I haven’t really tried writing down what my ideal partner’s “must-be” attributes or personality should be like. I think it is because whatever we deem to be the ideal partner’s characteristics, it will never come out exactly as we planned or expected it to be, so there is no need to write it down. I agree that people and goals change, and sometimes, we become accustomed to our partner’s good traits and bad traits that we do not mind at all. After all, every one of us is human and are not perfect – being imperfect is what makes life all the more interesting, don’t you think? :)
Felicia recently posted..EPT Barcelona: Mikalai Pobal Defeated Ilari Sahamies Heads-Up
Martin
Oh, quite the opposite, Felicia.
Maybe I wasn’t clear. It’s not about perfection in another person. It’s about tuning (or retuning) your internal radar to be on the lookout for people more in your ballpark than leaving it all to dumb luck, chance and the potential fallout in discovering the next random person isn’t right for you.
The process is also very open to modification – I know I added, deducted and modified when traits didn’t make sense or I realised they were unimportant. We’re certainly not constructing a person from preferred DNA here. Fear not, you’ll definitely get an imperfect human being – just one that’s better suited, with a better than average chance of making you both happy.
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farouk
i loved your posting
you are right about that, unless we do something to solve that problem it will always be there. taking actions is the best thing we can do to ourselves
farouk recently posted..Falling in love with your abuser
Martin
Glad you liked the post, Farouk.
Yeah, deciding who it is we actually want in our lives is an area quite a lot of people simply forget about. Would you go looking to buy a house without a list of areas that make your ideal home? If you don’t, you’ll likely end up making a huge investment in buying a dud.
Simply put, why don’t we apply the very same logic to our life partner? These easy steps allow you to take control of your life and do that very thing.
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Aayna
A wonderful post. I thoroughly enjoyed flowing with this post. I personally have encountered some of the problems mentioned in the beginning of this post as the reasons for being unable to attract your ideal partner. I am a kind of a stubborn person which often act as a bad point for me. The steps provided by you for finding the right one are fantastic. I myself will indulge in this process to select the right one for me.
Martin
Thanks for your frankness and honesty, Aayna.
It’s interesting that you know you’re stubborn as well as also understand that it’s a potential in being unable to find the right partner for you.
- Is this ‘stubbornness something you want to be rid of?
- I’d be interested in helping you with your process of what I describe in the article, if you’d like a sounding board, as well. Feel free to contact me for some assistance, if you’d like.
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