How to Bounce Back After Being Dumped

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How to Bounce Back After Being Dumped

Dumped by Prince Charming!

It was New Year’s Eve – about 30 minutes before midnight to be precise – and I had just been dumped. I had only been dating Prince Charming for about a week, so this wasn’t Anna Kerenina level heartbreak. But still – New Years?!

In a word, I felt humiliated.

At five minutes to midnight I was brushing my teeth.

While neighbors rang in the New Year with laughter and clinking glasses, I was in bed.

Alone.

Dumped and alone - what next?

Dumped and alone – what next?

My natural reaction might have been to lock myself in the house for the next two weeks and survive solely on jumbo tubs of ice cream and B-grade Jennifer Aniston movies.

But I knew there were better ways to deal with heartbreak.

Read on to find out how I recovered from my New Years humiliation and other heart-wrenching breakups, and how you can too.

 

Wallow in Self-pity (for a little while)

Putting a time limit on moping allows you to mourn, while preventing you from becoming a lonely, grimacing cat lady. Depending on the intensity of your feelings, one day to one week of pouting is enough.


The longer you wallow in grungy, antisocial despair, the more likely you are to become seriously depressed.

After a while, you won’t be able to stop your cyclical, negative thought patterns.

To put it simply, you’ll go crazy.

Instead, allow yourself to really feel your sadness for a planned period of time and then move on. But how can you move on from the sting of rejection?

 

Do NOT Analyze

Did you know that no matter why your man broke up with you, you are still, for all intents and purposes, dumped? So, before you waste one single nanosecond considering the reasons behind his sudden change of heart – Stop.

And tell yourself: It. Does. Not. Matter.

Analyzing his actions won’t change the situation. Like prolonged moping, it can only lead to cyclical, crazy-making thought patterns.
Instead of asking why, ask what. I know a friend of mine asked this and found love, strangely enough, on an online dating site in the UK.

What can I do now to feel better about the circumstances?

Which brings me to my next point …

 

Get Out of the House and Carpe Diem, Dammit!

Your bruised ego might try to convince you to stay at home. Instead, you should do the opposite. Good things happen to those who leave the house. Think of socializing as a regimen, like showering or exercise.

It might be difficult at first, but it will get easier. Going out will distract you from your sadness. Soon you’ll see that life continues with or without loverboy.

An added bonus is that being a go-getter makes you more attractive to all men. Don’t be surprised if your ex comes crawling back with roses and apologies once he sees that you are living life to its fullest. By then, you’ll be so busy flirting and having fun that you won’t want him.

So, go ahead and join the party – heck, why not even start the party! Life, adventure, and possibly new love, is waiting for you.

In case you’re wondering, nearly every one of my exes has tried to get me back at some point. If I had stayed at home collecting cats as I waited by the phone, I might have accepted.

Fortunately for me, I got a life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l656xkdf5sQ

I’ve learned, being alone on New Years is better than kissing a frog at midnight.

Now that’s something to raise your glasses to.

 

Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

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Avatar of Michaela

Michaela Chung is a freelance copywriter and blogger. Armed with the power of the pen, her suitcase and a thirst for adventure, she is pursuing her dream of living on every continent. She has traveled extensively through North America and Australia and is now making her way through Central/South America. Follow her on Twitter @MichaelaChung1

Michaela – who has written posts on GeekandJock.


Comments

  1. wrote on April 1st, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Arianne

    It reminds me of a time when my ex-fiance broke it off with me a week before Christmas. Jerks will be jerks, that is life. Just be happy that at least you didn’t end up with a guy who does not know how to value you.

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on April 8th, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      Martin
      Twitter:

      Well said, Arianne.
      There’s always going to be jerks in our lives and that applies to both sexes too.
      It’s about making sure you can identify them as early as possible without risking applying your reservations to someone who might actually value you. A fine line to walk.
      Thanks too for the comment.
      Martin recently posted..Love – I’ll Keep Coming Back For MoreMy Profile

  2. wrote on March 26th, 2013 at 8:02 am

    Jane Darling

    I can guarantee that with that game plan they will come crawling back—and it feels so good to turn them down!

  3. wrote on March 25th, 2013 at 12:50 am

    Janis Binder

    Being dump, well not that this happen to me a lot but it has happen. I like the line
    “Baby it’s not you it”s me”. You deserve better. And guess I did! It took me a hell
    of a long time to realize my self worth. Being dumped was like an unexpected
    death. Shock,in a daze, shut down and wonder why me? oh yea and sometimes
    begging or trying to comprise a already bad situation. Been there and done that.
    However, once I realize I had a support system working in my favor a higher
    power things slowly change. In any given situation it is nice to have a support system in place. This could be family, friends or a minister. You get my point.
    Now I am talking about positive people not the I told you so. Yes you are going to grieve and may want some comfort food but not too much. Haha.
    Take a warm bath or do something nice for yourself that will relax you. Suddenly it will click! What the hell am I sad for he/she just did me a favor!
    I am beautiful, intelligent and a great catch for someone. Their Lost! So go out and enjoy life and the people you will meet on this great journey of life. Trust me I did not feel like this way over night. Believe me I know someday that special person for me may be closer than I think and for you too. So let us open up for unlimited possibilities!

    • Avatar of Michaela
      wrote on March 25th, 2013 at 5:56 am

      Michaela
      Twitter:

      Thanks for your comment Janice. I really like what your said about having a support system.
      I’m always grateful when girlfriends rush to my side with chocolate, wine and sympathy after a breakup. Mom always has words of encouragement too.

  4. wrote on March 24th, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    Bella Goth

    That was great! Good advice, pithy and entertaining.

  5. wrote on March 24th, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    JW

    You have a phd of dating stories in you Ms. Chung. You go girl. Keep at it!

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