Common Complaint, Really?
It seems to be a common complaint that women have that many of the men they date are emotionally unavailable. Too often, these women don’t realize the mistake until they have already been dating these men awhile or have already become emotionally committed themselves.
However, it is possible to tell if a man is emotionally unavailable and is not ready for a relationship, long before you reach this stage.
You just have to watch for the signs!
Here are a few signs that the men you are interested in maybe emotionally unavailable and not yet ready for a relationship:
He’s Involved with Someone Else
Ladies, this should be a non-starter.
If a man is already dating or – we hope not – married, you shouldn’t even consider getting involved. Yeah, yeah, we know: He’s so unhappy with his partner, and things are going to be different with you.
The reality? He’s not going to break it off, and things won’t be different with you.
Men who are involved with another woman, even if they are unhappy and on the way out of the relationship, are not emotionally available to start a legitimate relationship with you.
Keep in mind that your man doesn’t have to be in a relationship with another woman to be emotionally involved with her.
Men who are still hung up on their exes or who have not yet had the proper time to grieve their most recent breakup are not emotionally available.
Steer clear.
His Past Relationship Record is Spotty
One of the first things you talk about as a couple is past relationships. It’s a way to tell each other about who you are and what you expect in a partner.
Listen when your man starts to talk about these relationships:
- How long did they last?
- Why did they end?
Men who are emotionally unavailable will have a troubling relationship history, filled with casual encounters or very brief relationships.
A man who hasn’t dated anyone for more than 3 months isn’t just unlucky in love – he’s not ready for a relationship.
He Doesn’t Introduce You to Friends and Family
Things are going well, and you’ve been having a great time together.
You’ve been dating for a little while, and you have introduced him to a few of your friends – even started talking about setting up a dinner date with your parents.
Yet you still haven’t met a single acquaintance of his.
If your man continues to put off introducing you to friends or family, it could be a sign that he’s emotionally unavailable (or that he’s in witness protection – you choose).
Men who aren’t ready to commit won’t make an effort to introduce you to those closest to them.
He Won’t Talk about His Feelings
This should be another obvious sign:
Men who don’t talk about their feelings are not emotionally available.
Don’t think that he’s just the strong, silent type.
He doesn’t have to gush and write you sonnets. However, all men (and women) should be able to express themselves emotionally.
This can include how he feels about you, but it can also include talking about his day, his feelings about work, his feelings about other relationships in his life, or his feelings about his future.
If your man clams up when these topics come up, or if he always seems to be “fine,” then he may not be emotionally available.
He Sends Mixed Messages
Does he text you short, thoughtful messages in the middle of the day, but then he acts like he can’t talk when you call him later?
Or does he invite you for a weekend away but then cancels at the last minute?
Maybe he came on strong in the beginning, but now that you seem interested, he doesn’t seem as eager to pursue you.
These mixed messages are a sign that your man may not be emotionally available or ready to start up a real relationship with you.
You may think that men are inscrutable. After all, we’ve been told again and again that men and women speak different “languages” when it comes to relationships. However, if you look for the signs, it can be pretty easy to spot a man who is not emotionally available and who isn’t ready to start a relationship with you.
Use these tips to spot these men and focus your attention on those who are ready.
Speak Your Mind
Nice to see you made it this far so here’s what you can do next:
- Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then read this article.
- Have you dated an emotionally unavailable man?
- What were the signs?
And thanks for reading too – Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Lisa is currently a resident blogger at Go college, where recently she’s been researching government grants for college and grants for students with disabilities. In her spare time, she enjoys creative writing and hogging her boyfriend’s PlayStation 3. To keep her sanity she enjoys practicing martial arts and bringing home abandon animals.
Lisa – who has written 1 posts on GeekandJock.
telling the other partner that one is ready to relationship i think is the most difficult thing
These are all really good points, but I think a lot of women really don’t care about these things and are so concerned with their own motives they will over look most Red Flags. In my 37 years of life I have seen the women in my life (Family) date and pick the wrong guys over and over again. I have pointed out the red flags only to hear, “No he’s a good guy” or “No one is perfect” Women ignore the red flags hoping they will go away but the truth is, they won’t! Or very rarely they do
I wrote a blog a short time ago about ‘Bad Boys’, Mike.
A lot of women get caught in the trap of adventure and living on the edge with utter wankers. Obviously, the way humans react, they also defend their choice and the loser guy too.
Unfortunately, it’s a lesson they need to learn and often times, they don’t. Great comment, mate.