this week was a little more up then down.
He finally got his own car on Wednesday which he had been aiming and struggling for. The day after he got his car he came up to see me and said ” that now since his family doesn't have a car to use as a manipulating tool he can come up more often. which is great the day he came up was nice and fine Friday he went out with his friends and got home early and made it a point to give me some conversation before bed .
Then yesterday he came up and was in a bad mood and was annoyed with anything and everything i could say or do . It wasn't till we were towards the later part of the evening that he mentioned that another issue was bugging him at home. So i understood and put my guard defenses down and was patient to listen to him and let him know i am there.
He left a little earlier than usual because i have a huge exam tomorrow. and i did want to study yesterday evening and today all day.
But today he texted me bright an early that h was leaving to gym and since whenever i would call or text he would ignore or not respond. i took a break from my studies and went online to chat with a friend as i get online i notice he is in the chat also with his friends talking about playing some basket ball game. A little part of me got angry because instead of just communicating that he needed guy time or something today he just ignores my call. So i called him and he just gave me an attitude and told me he is busy and has so many things to do and just wants sometime to play his game and get work done. and when he has a moment then he will give me a moment.
I got really upset by this reason:
When he was going through his masters any and every time he had an exam he would come over to study because i would support him and help him with flash cards and make food so he didnt have to stray away from his studies and just show all around support. I never complained and i did it free willingly and out of kindness because i saw how hard he was working and how stressed he was.
Now I know a lot of men cant just take over the role and do cooking or cleaning and what not, nor do I expect that . In fact all I really wanted or want is a simple good luck some communication and not to be given attitude or made to feel like I'm doing something wrong . we don't live together so I don't expect him to come and help me actually study or anything but he knows this test is crucial in deciding whether i pass or not and a little support and care goes a long way.
with everything going on with him I understand where his anger and defense comes from right now but its been going on for more than a month now and this is just after the fight. If i even bring up a request or suggestion i get “your criticizing me ” i don't know if i come off like i am but its not my intent. I dont know how to tell him that i understand his hurt and frustration but at the same time he is making me feel the way he feels. I have no say and lately he gets the final word in just about everything because I don't want to agitate or make things worse. Also i'm really just trying to be supportive.. But through all this i have moments or stress and worries and i feel like the one person who I want to listen and care i cant even ask too.
How do I tell him that with out making it sound like a demand or criticism ?