Home Forums Relationships General Relationships insecurity taking over our relationship and its me Reply To: insecurity taking over our relationship and its me

insecurity taking over our relationship
Post count: 0

I need some advice on what happened this week.
This week we reconciled and it was a really good week but then i had a conversation with my mother who likes my boyfriend thinks he is a good person but that its pointless for us to stay together. I have already told you the issues we face in our relationship but most of my anger and worries come from his parents

His story:
His family depends on him for everything to pay for the house and groceries and everything. I admire this trait about him the fact that he will do anything for family. But his parents control him and sometimes our plans together. we cant have sleep overs or trips yet because his family thinks it is disrespectful and not right. He will not argue with them over these issues because he doesn't want to hear it from them or have them hate me or something. it has been like this for the three years we have been together. but he also in some form despises them because they are not always nice to him the actually are mentally abusive at times but he respects them because of course regardless of it all they are his family.

The issue:
My mom made a cruel joke last night saying that we are going no where no steps have been made and after three years no steps have been made and we still have to cancel plans on and off because either his parents give him a hard time or he feels uncomfortable testing the waters with them. She also said that im being dragged into a horrible situation where his parents will control our whole relationship even in marriage if we even get up to that stage. She said it hurts her to think that we would have wasted each others time, and that it will never change until he learns to stick up for himself and allow himself to have a life of his own.

My feelings:
Im hurt that my mom would think something horrible like that. When i told my boyfriend what she said his response was ” I can do what i have to do i can make things go as fast as I am able to we just started to be better, I want to make the moves but i want to be settled and make sure i am secure and completely capable to make the necessary moves. ( we both still live with our parents). My parents wont control us i dont want to lose you over them i can make sure that they are no longer included in anything we do. ”

I want to know what you think of the situation and how we can make it better