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insecurity taking over our relationship
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i got better at having faith and believing he loves me and is there for me. We have been much better since your advice. We still are not perfect but we are better. I thought my faith and security with him got so much better that I decided to kind of give us a reward i booked a hotel getaway to NYC I made sure to ask him a million times before I actually submitted the payment i did this because his family tends to always and i do mean always ruin our sleep overs and trips and everything. He said nothing would get in the way of this trip and for me to book it. I gave another two weeks before i actually submitted payment during the two weeks he continued to say that nothing would get in the way he even let his parents know way ahead in advance they said they were fine with it (but i always know they are not okay with him sleeping over or going away on a trip ). Now the trip is only a day away i can no longer get the money back or anything else that i put a deposit on back. His parents are now saying that they dont understand why we cant just wait till the summer to go on trips (they did this before two big times were on my birthdays). Needless to say the conversations turn into arguments and it ends up like this “why cant we just wait a week i dont want my parents to hate you or start a war with you lets just wait a bit your so impatient it will happen just wait”
It has been a year since we have had a sleep over or any alone us time at all we don't have kids we dont have jobs that we go to seven days a week, we don't have anything holding us from the small luxury of just trying to spend some time with each other.

Today his parents asked him why we cant wait until summer why cant we just stay here and see each other once, and that he has family coming why cant we just do something another time. (they always say there is family coming sometimes they actually come most times they cancel once i cancel my plans). i got upset and i tried not to yell buti just i explain my feelings I feel like we are never going to grow or move forward not just to engagement but to anything because his family doesn't want us too and he doesn't love me enough to push through and make himself happy and not them. isntead of talking through it he just said he had to go and would chat me on facebook. this is what he wrote when he got on to the chat ” i'm sorry for being a jerk maybe we not meant for each other man” since he has not said anything else yet but it just hurts its like hes always talking about never wanting to lose me or hurt me or have me leave him and how true love prevails all and that why he gets mad at me not believing he really loves me because the love he has for me is true . So now i feel like if i get insecure im wrong and a horrible gf but then what is left to do. I dont know what step to make or how to go about it i just feel at 25 years old why is going out with me on a trip such a horrible thing for his parents and why cant he chose me for once and his happiness over their wants when they also are not even nice to him.