Boyfriend's best female friend

[Steph]

My boyfriend’s best female friend is getting married in April and I’m not sure I should go. He has other female friends but this one is different because of how he acts around her. We went to visit her and her fiance a couple months ago and there were a few instances that made me uncomfortable. One was when he went to sit next to her for some reason and it was a little close for comfort. The second instance was our last night there when he told her how nice she looked twice while I was standing right there in the room. It didn’t feel like a friendly compliment especially since he repeated it as if to make sure she heard him say it once when she first came out of her room and again after her fiance mentioned it. I thought I was going to have to pick his tongue off the floor and in hindsight maybe I should have made a joke to that extent at the time (along with a really hard pinch lol). I don’t get a vibe from her that there’s any reciprocation but I don’t want to fly all the way to Vegas to watch his heart break. He’s never denied any romantic feeling and though my worries have come up before, I’ve never outright asked him. Full disclosure: may be transferring trust issues from last relationship but can’t ignore the feeling in my gut that says going is a bad idea.

[MartinKeymaster]

Hey Steph – thanks for your question.

You know, lots of different thoughts go through our minds when we’re about to lose a real friend, to changing circumstances. But the real issue here is why you wouldn’t want to be with your boyfriend for support, as well as being his girlfriend?

Fly to Vegas. If he really gets his heart broken to someone that isn’t within his control, that’s fine. Prove you’re the better person to be there for him as you should. Chances are, this is just some infatuation, if anything. From what you say, it’s likely only one-sided anyway which will be a great opportunity to talk more about it with him.

Grow out of insecurities and into strength within, to make YOUR relationship into what you want it to be.
Does that make sense? Let me know if you need clarification on ANYTHING though too.

[Author]

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