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  • I just done understand
    Post count: 0
    #4970 |

    My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year and we just moved In together in August and all of a sudden we started to not be intimate , all of a sudden she has become very distant and she pushes away my physical contact and we haven\\\'t been intimate in over 3 months , I\\\'m extremely frustrated and we have talked about it , she says iis t me it is her, but I just don\\\'t understand? What should I do, I love her so much and I\\\'m scared bc I feel like she is pushing me away and I don\\\'t wanna lose her

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    Moving in can be a huge milestone in anyone's relationship evolution.

    Can you elaborate on what she said she meant be ‘It is her'?
    If that was just a brief comment she made then it's time you need to continue to discover what it is that has her troubled, concerned or whatever else it might be (which could be any one of a thousand things).

    You might want to read one of our posts on Being Empathic when talking to your lady. And you also need to shelve your own frustrations. Working on understanding your girlfriend and getting balance back in that side of your relationship will go towards getting you what you need.

    Please do comment back with more details though. There's obviously more to it.

  • I just done understand
    Post count: 0

    Well she doesn't really elaborate and says she can't really say whatit is but , she has horrible anxiety and has yet to seek help for it and she isn't from the state we live in a is away from her family. On top of this she lost her grandparent that she was so close to and didn't get to say goodbye. She has alot of personal issue from her past and I feel that she can't let the past go and I feel like it may hurt us, what can I do I'm very supportive and understand and I make my frustrations known and she says I'm so sorry it isn't you, I love you

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    Actually, she'll know exactly what it is – it's more she's not wanting to say, embarassed to say or unsure how to say it – here's where you need to ‘man up' and put your frustrations away and learn about understanding and empathic to allow her time and opportunity to be comfortable in confiding in you and trusting you.

    That's sometimes a tough move for some. Read that post I pointed you to and start the conversation with her that you're there for her and you so want to be her best friend. Totally avoid any sort of guilt trip about the lack of intimacy as you'll simply fuck things up – the focus is on her and you becoming soulmates.

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