ILY

[abro]

Ok I really don’t know where to begin. My bf and I have been together for a total of 1 1/2 yrs. We were kind of set up through mutual friends. About six months after we started dating/talking we became an “official couple”. I feel as though I pressured him because he wasn’t really “ready” to be in a relationship. Shortly after I had sex with him for the first time (my first). I really fell in love with this guy. Too soon I think. Now, our relationship is rocky and I feel like I love him too much. He wont tell me “I love you” because he said in his past relationships after saying those words it always goes south. I need to know if I’m overreacting about the “love” thing. Thanks

[MartinKeymaster]

Hey abro – thanks for the question.

So I’m taking it you’ve been in the official relationship for 12 months and your boyfriend was also your first sexual encounter?

Usually (though not always), the first sexual experience of a woman is one of very close bonding and is often thought of as real love. And sometimes it often is which is cool too.

I might suggest on what you’ve suggested that the bf has been through a few broken relationships so it’s understandable that he’s going to be a little ‘gun shy’ when it comes to letting his guard down and letting you into his head. Guys are typically quite guarded as well as reserved when it comes to emotional expression. I know I was in my early years. 

At this early stage, I’d suggest you are probably overreacting a little. Give him some time. Have some casual and balanced chats about what he went through. Be supportive. It’s rare that two people ‘fall in love’ with the same timing too – wait for him if you think he’s the one

[Author]

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