MartinKeymasterOctober 11, 2010 at 1:15 amPost count: 250
Click the above image for larger view
Check out this cartoon – humorous on the surface. On a deeper level though, there’s a mysterious sex relationship question that permeates through society today. That men and women would rather do something else than become connected and understand each other to form what evolution has worked on for hundreds of thousands of years – pair bonding.
What keeps the genders apart?
What drives us crazy enough to avoid wanting the comfort of a stable and healthy relationship?
Why would women rather keep the company of other women than guys?
The majority of ladies love the company of other women for a number of reasons. Familiar thoughts, similar communication patterns, security in knowing they’re not going to be ‘hit on’ every other minute as well as an innate wanting to understand the other ladies and support them.
So what are you getting from those reasons?
Well, for starters, we need to recognise that any healthy relationship with another person is formed from an understanding of them. It’s not about you alone, it’s an ‘us’ thing. Pair bonding requires a level of giving, understanding, compromise and, importantly, forgiveness.
Have a good old look at your behaviour with your partner.
Are you really thinking what you can do for them? What they might love for you to do for them? Do you have impulsive urges to do something nice and unexpected for them?
There might be a very real vacuum in your ‘giving’ space. Real and loving relationships (and I’m talking personal as well as business here) are built on giving as well as receiving (and, obviously a whole pile of other stuff too). If you personal space has a void in honest and free giving, have good look at how you can turn that around.
This is really about getting inside your significant other half’s head and trying your best to understand their feminine thinking. Yeah, of course it’s going to be different to how you as a man will think. Wow, what a cool learning experience you have ahead of yourself.
And imagine that along the journey that your partner is also going to learn about what’s going on inside your head as well. Healthy Relationship Growth is a happening thang, brother.
Initially a challenging aspect to many couples. As individuals, we really aren’t that used to giving up on our turf. As individuals, we’re also pretty selfish critters too. As individuals, we are desperate to protect our turf, at any cost – get those barriers up so you can’t be caught out and discovered.
As a couple, your individuality now involves another person. Someone you simply have to trust at your very core. That means you have a responsibility to ensure their values, wants and needs are given equal priority to your own and harmony requires balance. Balance requires compromise from both parties.
As in compromise, both people in your partnership are now exposed to one another in all your glory. And sooner or later, one of you are going to screw up in the others’ eyes.
Do you think it’s in your own best interest to berate and belittle them or to forgive, forget, learn, grow and move forward?
Do let us know your feedback below.
Kudos to PartiallyClips on their cartoon – great site guys
TetkaMemberDecember 6, 2010 at 8:59 amPost count: 2
A great article Martin with food for thought on so many levels.
The word which springs to mind is “commitment”
It takes TOTAL commitment to be in the space you speak of, which I totally agree with.
For me I see it as a journey of expansion with a deeper evolvement of pure love, again which I call unconditional love.
We are all male/female within our psyche and so I also see “pairing” relationships as an opportunity to become whole with any/all aspects people may find irritating. It is so easy to blame another for how we feel rather than look within ourselves to identify the core pattern of attraction.
Equally, for the person within the “paired” relationship, it is so comforting to trust their mate totally in committing to communicating what is at the core of any emotions that may occur.
Thanks for sharing innate wisdom, I appreciate you.
MartinKeymasterSeptember 23, 2011 at 7:45 pmPost count: 250
Understanding and sharing as well as patience all need to be at work when you're dealing with another person. Neve is this more the case than with your partner.
When it comes to people, I'd suggest a middle ground is always an objective so thanks for pointing that out too.
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