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  • Profile photo of mglitz55mglitz55
    Participant
    Post count: 1
    #2364 |

    Sigh okay, I need some help on my current situation which is actually a few wrapped into one…

    The first situation is…

    I am currently dating a wonderful man that no longer makes me feel like I'm special. There really isn't much wrong in the relationship, but I've come to expect the little things that he did at the beginning of the relationship that he no longer does. Things like compliment what it is that I'm wearing that day or noticing that I did my hair or makeup different.

    I feel like I do so many things to try to ensure that he feels loved and special. I would just like something in return in that ballpark.

    Every time I bring up the conversation he either plays the guilt card or changes the subject. Either way he won't talk about our issues with me.

    The second situation is…

    I've met someone else that is a really good friend at the moment. He is always there for me, he makes me laugh and feel good. He helps me forget about the things that are bothering me. He makes me feel special when I'm around him or just talking with me. I find him attractive and I know the feeling is mutual. The problem is is I have more than just those feelings for him. I like him, but feel guilty for liking him. He pretty much provides what it is that I'm lacking and/or missing in my current relationship. I feel like right now I'm using him to fulfill my current relationship.

    I don't know what to do or how to sort out my feelings. I don't even know if maybe my feelings are manifesting for the new guy because I can't have it right now in my current relationship.

  • Profile photo of MartinMartin
    Keymaster
    Post count: 250

    You're on a rebound cycle even though you haven't rebounded just yet.
    You're looking for something better, without sorting out your current situation and making a decision. This isn't fair on yourself or your present partner.

    It's serious decision making time. It sounds like your present guy is the one to lose out but you need to finalise it. If he doesn't want to or continues to use ‘guilt tactics', I'd say your decision will be an easy one. Sort it and only then will you have the headspace to think on your feelings for the other guy and your future.

  • Profile photo of PhilPhil
    Participant
    Post count: 1

    Is this a familiar situation for you? Have you found yourself similarly dissatisfied in previous relationships? To put it in cliches, Glass Is Greener, or Grass Half-Empty ;-) If so, you have some reflecting to do. But if not, it may be time to move on and not waste your time and his.

    If you do move on and find yourself regretting it, that will be a big clue that you are focusing your attention on the things you don't have, rather than the things you do have.

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