BrettJanuary 31, 2012 at 12:54 pmPost count:
My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. I love her very much and there have been times that I have known I could spend my life with her. When we first started dating, she would smoke cigarettes habitually, something I am not okay with. In fact, back then I told her that she had to stop if we were going to be together. She stopped smoking up until about 6 months ago. Now she has started smoking cigarettes heavily again. I don\’t want to be a controlling person so I don\’t know how to approach the situation. Unfortunately, I’m also very bad at confrontation. We\’re not in the dating stage anymore and we are very close, so I don\’t want to just break up with her. The smoking is a dealbreaker for me though. What should I do?
MartinKeymasterJanuary 31, 2012 at 1:35 pmPost count: 217
Welcome Brett and thank you for your question.
Actually it comes down to this:
- It’s a dealbreaker for you if she continues to smoke
- She is a smoker and obviously still wants to
- It’s outside yours rights to manipulate someone into change.
So what are we left with?
- You need to end it since her smoking outweighs your love for her
- Determine what and how the smoking affects you and find a win-win situation, in it all
i.e If it’s the smell, explain this to her, use mints and/or air fresheners etc and smoke outside
Does that make sense? Do reply back with further questions too – that’s a healthy thing.
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