Why is he treating me so bad?

[marina]

Hi, Iv been dating my boyfriend for 2 years . 

We were very close and best friends before we started dating. However after a year into the relation he started taking me for granted. 

I asked him to spend little time with me but he was not willing . He only wanted to be with his ‘GUY Pals’. However recently he is completely ignoring me . He says he needs space because i hurted him(i dont even know how nor he is telling me but i still said sorry and asked for forgiveness). 

He has been hanging out recently with a another Girl. He spends alot of time with her. 

I confronted him about it and asked him if he is loves her but he said no. I asked him again then he said i dont love anyone. I dont want love. I feel little upset because of all the time he is spending with her. 

He doesnt want to be with me hurts me even more. I cant see him with another girl but he doesnt understand that. His friends always poke into it saying that Oh he is hanging out with that chick. It makes my jealously worse. We are in the same college so its worse 

Please help me. I dont know what to do. 

Why is he doing this to me? is he punishing me by doing this because i hurted him?

[MartinKeymaster]

Hi Marina,

Thanks for the question.

Actually, I asked my wife for her ‘take’ on what you posted, just to give me a confirmation (or otherwise) to what I was thinking. She confirmed my thoughts which was nice to know.

So let me clue you in on your situation, as I understand it. What you have here is a testosterone fueled college guy who is too much of a chicken-shit to break it off with you because he’s courting another woman in the hopes of higher sexual satisfaction of his needs.

This guy isn’t one to settle down with a decent woman such as yourself but he is keeping you ‘on the hook’ just in case the current girl doesn’t work out and he’ll have someone to ‘come home to’.

While it is going to be an initial challenge to come to gripes with, this guy is a loser and not worth your time. Go out and find a guy that is what you want in life and move on past this current fixation. He’s simply not worth the time or energy.

You’re young and obviously have a higher calling when it comes to the right guy – go find him because this guy isn’t him.

[Melanie]

I have the same case with Marina. I had a boyfriend for 3 years who I think is only playing with me. I broke with him and I completely block him from my life.

[MartinKeymaster]

It is quite sad, Melanie, when people are treated this way. And so glad you saw the light eventually.
What was the final straw that made you quit the relationship? How did you handle it with him?

[MichaelaParticipant]

Marina,
I have been in your exact situation before and I have vowed never to be there again. My man was constantly flirting with another woman right in front of my face! When I told him how this made me feel, things didn’t change.

For me, this is what worked:
1. Tell him how his actions make you feel. For example, “I feel sad and embarrassed when you flirt with her.”
2. If things don’t change, pack your social calendar with activities you love and pay little attention to his actions.
3. If things still don’t change, tell him you want to see other people and do just that. Go out, meet other men, go on dates and have a blast.
4. When he comes crawling back, turn him down.
5. If he comes back again begging and pleading, give him one more chance. But remember to keep on living your life to the fullest and doing what you love.

Men are turned off when they feel like your world revolves around them. So, in short – you need to get a life. I hope that helped. @MichaelaChung1

[Author]

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