There’s been a few articles on GeekandJock about my thoughts on adultery and infidelity but I recently stumbled across an interesting Infographic, from the people at Bad Online Dates.
Take a few moments for yourself and browse through what they think they’ve diluted from their survey and I’ll meet you below the Infographic for some more words of my own wisdom :)
Do You Tell Your Partner That You Had Sex With A Bartender?
The poll was pretty well split down the middle.
I’m guessing all those ‘No’ respondents aren’t telling because they know they’ve just blown whatever trust they had previously earned and won’t be getting it back …. ever. Sex outside your relationship will, eventually, kill it.
Wise up and don’t go to Bars with sexually promiscuous bartenders.
Your New Lover Isn’t Into Sex. What’s Next?
You know, sex really is integral to any healthy relationship.
Unless you’re a monk who’s pairing up with another monk, a lack of sexual interest will eventually turn the relationship sour.
Don’t find it elsewhere unless you first end the current relationship.
And do that after you’ve tried your best to get your sex lives active and healthy.
Threesome Anyone?
74% of people want a sexual dalliance with a third party?
I really can only deduct it’s the illusion of better sex. Illusion, I said.
This fantasy of a sexual threesome is much like ‘swinging’ or a woman’s initial desire for all those Bad Boys, out there.
It’s the suggestion of adventure or excitement … until you’re in the situation.
You’re sharing your heart-given intimacy with a stranger. There isn’t any love or profound emotion – there’s just the primal urge of fucking for the sake of fucking.
I’ve never had a threesome, never desired or fantasied about them, and will never suggest or have one.
A Second Chance After Cheating Twice?
Piss off, brainless.
There’s 26% of people that would allow a convicted adulterer to get it on for the third time?
For that 26%: despite the suggestion you can recover from an adulterous relationship, I’m going to strongly suggest it never happens.
Betrayal of trust never recovers.
Could You Tell If You Were Cheated On?
71% think they could tell.
Cheating, by nature, is veiled in utter secrecy. Women, supposedly, are far better at cheating than men as they have the innate ability to think down so many avenues and options. Guys on the other hand will tell the first bloke that comes along that he’s banging the barmaid.
That said, if it’s a planned affair, chances are you won’t know until they make a mistake and reveal themselves – and they always do, eventually.
Can Trust Be Rebuilt?
“I gave you trust and you screwed the pooch!”
79% think it can be regained.
Listen, I’ve been cheated on. You grapple to regain that former life. You work at being better people so the relationship moves forward.
There is ALWAYS the sliver of doubt that they’ll do it again. And it eats away at you.
A large percentage of that 79% haven’t really lost trust before to make a valid decision.
Over To You
I know it’s been a long read and here’s what I want you to do next:
- Click one of the Share buttons so your friends can check out this post too
- What are your own thoughts on losing and regaining trust?
- Would you ever entertain a threesome or why / why not?
And thanks for reading too – Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?
Martin Cooney – who has written 163 posts on GeekandJock.
I love this statement by you Marvin: For those 26%: despite the suggestion you can recover from an adulterous relationship, I’m going to strongly suggest it never happens. Betrayal of trust never recovers.
I am in total compliance with you! We think we can trust again but bottom line until it happens to you – you simply don’t know what will happen and what you’ll feel and if trust will ever be rebuilt.
Cheating is a bad idea and like you said – move on first and then you can go do whatever you wish to do…..
Great article,
Nancy
Sounds like you’re speaking from experience too, Nancy – are you?
If you don’t want to be in the relationship with your partner, you owe it to both them and yourself to either resolve issues or move on, like Nancy has reiterated.
Only then should you be comtemplating something with another. You’ve moved on honestly.