In The Beginning …

I’ve written volumes on how to go about finding ‘that perfect someone’ in your life.

It’s what we all want, isn’t it?

Answer: YES!

 

That’s The Beginning Of A Soulmate and Possibly the End Too

If you are lucky enough to actually find the proverbial ‘needle in the haystack’, with a person that loves you at their very core, chances are you’ll also be in the large percentage of people who will also fuck it up too.

Here’s how you’re going to play it out:

  1. Oh wow, they are just who I’ve always wanted in my life
  2. You’ll have some wonderful talks about your differences and why you love each other
  3. You’ll put on your own ‘rose colour end glasses’ and start looking at them as you did with your past partners
  4. You’ll start blaming them, based on your own history and beliefs
  5. You won’t bother to take stock of yourself
  6. You’ll believe you are right in your own suspicions
  7. Your own previous personal baggage will slowly and innocuously start to poison what should truly be magical
  8. Your soulmate is their own separate person who loves you but you’re probably being a real asshole by now
  9. What was once a magical experience has now been turned into a steaming pile of shit – guess what you did wrong, dickhead?

 

Did You Ever Once Think You Needed the Work?

In life, it is so easy to think you have all the answers.

That’s a natural human reaction because none of us want to admit we might have made a mistake.

In a relationship, the opposite is actually true.

Mistakes are common and also natural, in a relationship.

You’re dealing with so many variables that it’s impossible to ever think that you’ll get every nuance and situation right.

But you can’t help but think you’re right, can you?

it's easy to destroy the love you once had, through stubborn pride

It's easy to destroy the love you once had, through stubborn pride

 

Screw Up Time 1-on–1

If you’re the type of person who can’t (or won’t) admit or even see you’ve made a mistake, then you’re going to be doomed in every relationship you’re going to have.

Who wants to live with a know-it-all who can’t budge from their own limiting belief system?

When have you actually sat down and been honest with yourself?

Have you ever sat down somewhere quiet and wrote down a list of the times you’ve been a potentially arrogant turd, to someone that really loves you.

For that matter, are you thinking right now that you’ve never done that because if you are thinking that then you’re an even bigger asshole.

 

Personal Experience Talks

Without going into the challenges of my current relationship, I can tell you that I was a dickhead in my first marriage.

It broke up after 26 years and I was to blame, partially, but who cares on the percentages.

I was there, it broke down and I take responsibility.

I spent an enormous amount of time after the breakup to simply take stock of my wrong-doings as well as my own personal WTF To-Do list in getting my shit together.

Inflicting pain and heartbreak on someone else is terrible and just plain wrong.

Would you want yourself to be on the receiving end?

 

What’s Next?

  1. If you’re able to even think you have a relationship responsibility then keep reading
  2. If you think you’re right in what you’re doing then fuck off and go read the Huffington Post’s Fashion Section
  3. Sit down and be prepared to be tough on yourself
  4. Think of EVERY situation where you’ve had a relationship conflict
  5. Now take responsibility yourself for it
  6. What did YOU that brought on the problem?
  7. What didn’t you do that could have resolved it, peacefully.
  8. If you think you don’t have baggage then think again
  9. What’s the baggage that IS destroying what should be magical and beautiful?
  10. This isn’t anything to do with your soulmate, this is all about where, why and how YOU are screwing things up

 

Flat Out, Be Better Than You Are Now

There are few people that are willing and open to admit they’re wrong.

Even fewer are in relationships.

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Speak Your Mind Because I Know You Have One

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Enjoying newly found freedoms, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
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Martin – who has written posts on GeekandJock.