Rose Colored Glasses or a Blindfold?
“I see you differently to how you see you”
It’s human nature that we see ourselves significantly different to how others see us.
Our own view is a mix of what we’d like ourselves to be, our view and beliefs based on our upbringing as well as how our moral compass perceives our own actions and thoughts.
That’s a big mouthful and the same is true with everyone on planet Earth.
They are looking at you, based on their own views and value system.
Your Perception Isn’t My Reality Though
Remember in my last article about how suspicion drives your partner to want to be true?
This is loosely based on their perception of how they view you and their ‘beliefs’ as to who THEY think you are.
Certainly not who you think they are.
It’s another double edged sword that can either make you or break you, BOTH!
The answer isn’t easy BUT it is also a simple one, if you both understand where you BOTH want to go and BOTH desire to get there TOGETHER.
Rules of Engagement, if You Dare
- Do you have a mutual agreement that you have each other’s back?
- in the good and bad times?
- Do you both understand a relationship is about winning but you BOTH win?
- That means compromise – you know that, don’t you?
- Sometimes one will get more of what they want then the other, other times it’ll be the reverse but the main point is you both see it’s about mutual winning and respect it.
- To move forward
- Disagreements will always be there
- I was speaking to a physiologist the other day who raised an interesting point, about people’s futility in resolving disagreements which is a good area to cover here
- Oftentimes, the challenge wanting to be resolved is lost when both people steer off course.
- It needs to be understood what you want to resolve and if either sees the conversation steering off course, to then pull it back to the central focus.
- Stay on track and resolve one thing at a time.
Focus to Win
The sad fact is you can’t make your partner want to win, for you both.
People need to make their own choices in life.
You can lead a horse to water but ….
It is all about focus on the right things in life though.
- Mutual happiness
- The journey you both want to travel, together
- Confidentiality with your partner and never using the private thoughts as a weapon against them
- If you have doubts or suspicions (which are always negative, no matter what you think) then raise them then and there and focus on the resolution of the single issue that you have
- And … Repeat after me, we need to both be winners in what we do!
Choices and Relationship Decisions
Some of us travel with limiting beliefs in what they want in life and are unable to contemplate someone else might want to actually be the one person who desires to be ‘that soulmate’.
Nothing you or I can do about it either.
The choice for them is a leap of faith.
The leap is always worth the effort – doing the same thing they’ve done before will always bring the same result.
Now You Give Your Opinion