The Love of My Life – My Love Story With My Wife

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The Love of My Life – My Love Story With My Wife

My Love Story

Today is the official 3rd wedding anniversary of Pamela Allen and Martin Cooney – the loving togetherness that is the two of us.

I was instantly attracted to Pam when we met on Facebook.

It was the same for me and what I thought at a much deeper level.

One of utter love and admiration … and a certain ‘knowing’.

Apart from her beauty, Pam has an aura that envelopesd me in such a trusting way.


The Journey

We’re two individual people so you know as well as I do that there’s going to be a ‘rub’.

We’ve had some disastrous disagreements – every couple does.

That’s what we learn from and grow from, as a foundation.

We have different value systems as well as those hormonal reactions.


The Growth

I still vividly remember our earlier days, the good and the bad times – there were both, naturally.

During that first week, on our first face to face date in Bali, we truly believed that we were soul-mates forever.

You might be thinking that was just first-lovers’ words.

Well, I’d agree with you too.

The autumn of life
The start of experience
The lust of youth
The doorway to the journey
- Martin J Cooney 21 Nov 2012

What I find amazing is holding onto this belief sets the direction of where your relationship is headed.

We’ve both been through previous relationships and knew with an amount of certainly what is was that we both wanted from that next partner.

The majority of those intrinsic qualities were looking at us in the face.


What’s the Relationship Lesson I Want To Pass On?

When you begin a new relationship, you both need to talk about your pending relationship from a holistic level.

Keep touching on what you’re looking for.

Be OK to talk about it.

Forget those age old myths of keeping your feelings to yourself – that’s asking for more secrets to amass and dive the wedge in.

Think of it this way.

Would you personally prefer to start building an understanding of your relationship foundation or would you prefer to continue in a haze of uncertainty, in not knowing what your current partner is thinking?


Common Sense

It probably comes with age and I hate saying that.

I’d challenge anyone to argue that point – providing both parties are being honest, that is.

And it isn’t about ‘completing’ each other either.

completely true

Completely true

It’s simply acceptance of one another and what we each bring to the partnership in making it (and each other) stronger, in the face of all those life challenges.

So the common sense is: stick with it, show understanding and a little compromise and both work on solutions, for mutual reward.



I love you, Pamela Allen!

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Avatar of Martin

Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company – as well as coffee. I’ll talk to almost anyone …. ok, anyone….

Martin – who has written posts on GeekandJock.


  1. Avatar of Phil
    wrote on July 25th, 2013 at 2:19 pm


    I really agree with the question of looking for someone to “complete” you. If that’s the case, then it only fulfills for a while, because the underlying neediness returns, and also, it is a drain on the other person to continually have to fill that void.

    Instead, when you have a rounded sense of self, another person is an addition to your life; they make you = 1 + something, not you + something = 1, if you’ll excuse my maths background.
    Phil recently posted..The Requirements for AcceptanceMy Profile

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on July 25th, 2013 at 3:00 pm


      Not sure I was able to fathom the maths there Phil but I’m sure others might so thanks, mate :)
      Yeah, it isn’t about completing you since it creates a needing gap. I prefer to look at ‘you’ from the holistic sense, myself.
      You = Your Life’s Joyous Journey

      Thanks too for the visit and comment which are always more than welcome. Hope Maude is doing great too
      Martin recently posted..Getting Back with the Ex Love Who Got AwayMy Profile

  2. wrote on July 20th, 2013 at 12:04 am


    Beautiful post Martin.
    The communication aspect is so important. I used to deny myself the opportunity to express my thoughts often because I was afraid of being “proven wrong”. And since I don’t exactly love confrontation either, I would keep my mouth shut when I didn’t want to.

    But as you pointed out – we learn things with maturity. Nowadays, I prefer to express my thoughts in a non-c-confrontational way. It’s easier to do this when you know yourself and come from a place of peace.
    Thanks for sharing :)
    Dana recently posted..Fuck – it’s Just a WordMy Profile

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on July 24th, 2013 at 1:59 pm


      Glad you liked it, Dana. I get a little teary when I read about our love story sometimes :)
      Yeah, the older I get, the more I plainly see that knowledge and an active, healthy outlook towards relationships provides us all with an growth path. Not many of us put work into our relationships and are blissfully unaware they’re leaving it all to chance – not the best bet in the world for something so important, is it?
      Martin recently posted..Does a Committed Relationship Really Make Us Happy?My Profile

  3. wrote on December 14th, 2012 at 9:13 am


    Dreamy, that’s what it is. We always look for the ‘one’ and end up with ‘another one’ with your inspiring story I have decided to be patient. My special someone is just there.

  4. wrote on December 14th, 2012 at 9:13 am


    This definitely one of a kind Martin. I’m glad you’re able to find true happiness with Pam. At the end of the day things work out for the best and we will find the ones for us. Good luck to the both of you.

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on December 14th, 2012 at 7:00 pm


      Well, it isn’t always total happiness, Kristine :)
      That said, we are always learning to better understand each other and have the resolve in moving forward – I think that’s often overlooked in relationships these days and for that I’m truly grateful we’ve both reached this point.
      how’s your happiness going though?
      Martin recently posted..The Biggest Thing That Gets In The Way Of Gratitude Is …My Profile

  5. wrote on December 13th, 2012 at 6:23 pm


    Such a touching story Martin, thank you for sharing this love story with us. It somehow gives us hope that there is someone meant for everyone. In His perfect time, we’ll meet that person. You obviously found yours. Best wishes to the both of you!
    Calra recently posted..New Years Eve Cruise in Sydney 2012 Harbour Fireworks Cruise!My Profile

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on December 14th, 2012 at 6:56 pm


      From my time of this Earth, Caira, it isn’t hope. It’s more an understanding of what path we’re on and what we want in life and a partner.
      How do you go about the choice of a partner? That’s an interesting answer :)
      Martin recently posted..Top 5 Reasons Men Fall In LoveMy Profile

  6. wrote on November 28th, 2012 at 8:48 am


    I love to hear about people being in love Martin. You don’t see a lot of that anymore I’m afraid. I certainly can’t speak for myself.

    I have although always believe in communication. Yep, I’m the one that’s going to sit you down and talk things out. Hey, I’m nice though and I really in truly want to learn more about the other person because without taking the time to do that you can’t truly learn who they are and why they think the way they do. I wish more couples would do that but I know a lot of guys don’t like to talk about their feelings. Shame on them.

    Just glad that you and Pam are truly happy. Hopefully what you share here can help others find their way as well.

    Adrienne recently posted..8 Silly Mistakes You May Be Making On Your WordPress BlogMy Profile

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on November 28th, 2012 at 2:47 pm


      Oh thanks so much for stopping by, Adrienne and making a comment.
      And too cool you’re in the same situation too – it’s very much a reason to celebrate and the reason I wrote the post. I love being with my gal.

      Share and helping is what I love to do and why I run the site.

      I’m interested in your thoughts on why you don’t see a lot of ‘being in love’ anymore though. Why do you think that is?
      Martin recently posted..How To Be Thankful for Your PartnerMy Profile

      • wrote on November 29th, 2012 at 3:10 am


        It’s a very long story Martin and one I won’t bore you with. Let’s just say that I got use to doing what I’m doing and don’t have time for it anymore. It’s not something that’s been on my radar for a very long time and I love my life just the way it is.

        I’ll just leave it at that.

        • wrote on December 17th, 2012 at 1:33 pm


          It’s such a beautiful story, Adrienne and Martin.
          I actually swore off guys for a while, after a bad relationship. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to go through all the same rubbish with another guy.
          But you know what? Deep down in my heart of hearts, I knew true happiness isn’t hiding under a blanket and pretending I’m doing just fine, by myself.

          For me anyway, that was a true period in my life of discovery. My gals tell me I really do own my own power now lol

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