This is a guest post by Joe Pawlikowski. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guidelines here.
I’m Bored With My Relationship.
I was bored with my relationship last year, and the year before, too. Chances are, I’ll be bored with my relationship again this summer. Yet the relationship persists. In fact, in a few short weeks it will be stronger than ever.
I intend for it to last the rest of my, or her, life.
How Do We Keep the Cycle Going?
The boredom cycle resets itself every six to 12 months. I can feel it from her, too. It feels as though we’re spinning our wheels, getting nowhere. After six years, it’s no wonder that we sometimes have trouble finding ways to progress our relationship.
Even the knowledge that we love each other and don’t want to be with anyone else, ever, we get bored. All humans get bored at some point or another. Some people exit a situation when they become bored. Others try to power through it.
My love and I have come up with a novel idea to break the boredom cycle. It involves taking just a single day off of work every few months, and it requires very little in the way of planning.
In order to keep our relationship fresh, we escape our environment for just a single weekend.
The Benefits of Frequent Lovers’ Weekends
The idea of a lovers’ weekend is nothing new.
It’s a commonly prescribed cure for longterm boredom and general disinterest. The only problem is that they’re not prescribed often enough.
Couples can derive great benefits from escaping the world for just a few days.
- We reform the bond we forged at our relationship’s beginning. There is nothing quite as elating as feeling as though you and your partner are one.
- We have a weekend without distraction from any outside sources. It’s just me and her, with no interruptions.
- The sex is stupendous. It’s not our bed, not our apartment, and not even our home state. The change of environment recharges the sex batteries in a serious way.
- We feel rejuvenated not only in our relationship, but our lives in general. It’s as though the stresses in our lives reset while we escape. We return to our normal lives refreshed in every way.
Getaways are emotionally uplifting, and that’s usually the missing element when relationships turns stale.
Using that to our advantage has kept our relationship stronger than ever through six years.
How to Plan a Lovers’ Weekend
Planning a getaway weekend is nothing like planning a vacation. In fact, planning should be kept to a minimum.
Just one day off
Any trip of this nature requires just a single Friday away from the office (assuming you an your partner have weekends off).
That’s much easier to arrange than a full week. It also makes other aspects of the trip much easier. Plan to leave Friday morning and return Sunday evening.
It might seem like a short time away, but the nature of the trip makes it feel longer.
To get on a plane on Friday and then again on Sunday is time consuming. It also brings on stressors of its own.
Best to avoid that hubbub and pick a destination within driving distance. Since you’re taking the day off, you can plan your trip around rush hour, as to not succumb to the stresses of rush hour.
Plus, the car ride can be one of the funnest parts of the trip. It’s just you and your partner, embarking on an exciting journey.
Find the right hotel
The most involved aspect of planning should involve the hotel. You can find many cheap hotels on sites such as Orbitz, but that might not be the best path. After all, cheap hotels can be seedy hotels.
While we’ve never once taken advantage of the breakfast portion of the offer, we often stay at bed and breakfast establishments.
These are quaint, and the rooms are typically cozy — and often include amenities such as a hot tub. It might cost a little more, but if you can afford it, it’s worth it.
Don’t plan activities
It might be tempting to plan activities for your getaway, but it’s best to resist. Once you arrive at your destination you can search — oftentimes the hotel clerk can offer suggestions.
But planning in advance can lead to disappointment if plans fall through.
This is meant to be a stress-free weekend. Removing planning removes many stressors.
Here are some tips I’ve picked up from the dozens of weekend getaways my love and I have taken in the past six years.
- No work. This should be assumed, but it’s mentioned for emphasis. Leave everything but yourselves behind.
- No phones. Bring them, yes. But don’t use them. This is a weekend about the two of you, and our phones, particularly smartphones, emphasize one person.
- No computers. Same deal as phones. The only exception is for looking up various attractions and restaurants. But that’s the only use for the computer. It shouldn’t come out at any other point in the weekend.
- Have sex. Often. In fact, it’s not at all inadvisable to make no plans during the day so you can lounge around the hotel room and have sex at will.
- Dress up. When you go out to dinner, dress up a bit. It adds a bit more flavor to an already delicious weekend.
There is no possible way my relationship would have lasted half this long if it weren’t for frequent weekend getaways. Both of us have trouble getting off full weeks, but even if we could it wouldn’t be the ideal setting. By taking just one day off of work and driving somewhere — anywhere but home — we’ve managed to keep things fresh.
We still get bored, sure, but we have a surefire boredom cure.
It’s one of the keys to a happy relationship.
Author Bio: Joe Pawlikowski is the editor of half a dozen blogs across the internet, including his recently launched work from home blog, JoePawl.com