What is love? Two way, accept, appreciate

Read the love post but make sure you CHECK these posts too.

 

 

What Is Love by Haddiway  …  What is love, baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more

so what is love
Is this love?
Is it something very different from the love you know?

 

So What Is Love?

Funny how many people think of love as the first stage in being hurt in some way.

I’m always looking through relationship-based material and the single thread comment mentioned most is along the lines of love leads to eventual hurt so why bother?

Throughout history, we’ve been told love is indefinable .. mysterious ..powerful .. emotional .. exhilarating .. But aren’t all those words describing love mysterious themselves?

 

So what are the basic components?

Sure, I think everyone would agree l-o-v-e is an emotion or a mix of them. For the most part, when you have love and are in love, you ‘feel’ great.

Great in what way?

Can it be distilled even more to a few fundamentals?

 

Love is good for another

It’s also a two-way street.

Typically, it involves yourself and someone else. So a core component is wanting the other person in the relationship to be safe, healthy, happy, and wanting them to be that way emotionally as well as mentally, physically, and, depending on the situation, sexually.

The whole package.

 

Acceptance

Ever heard of unconditional love? This is where another core aspect comes in. You accept the other person for who and what they are, without any of your own conditions or self-imposed patterns.

They are absolutely OK with you, with who they are.

No conditions at all.

And you know why don’t you?

If there are conditions placed on them, as soon as they step outside those boundaries, your so-called love will evaporate into thin air.

 

Appreciation

There’s a pairing with appreciation and acceptance.

Take a long look at that person you madly desire.

Now focus on what it is you like about them.

I know when I gaze at my partner, I always develop this smile and a sweeping appreciation of who she is. Her companionship, her creativity, her innocence, her playfulness, her insights, her advice, her opinions, her loyalty and so much more.

Appreciation almost certainly is a component we often speak about.

The appreciation you feel for the other person is simply and totally overwhelming that it consumes every other thought – in love.




 

Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

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  • What it is that you think love is?
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And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Love - Just What Is it? What Is Love? Do You Know? 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.


10 thoughts on “Love – Just What Is it? What Is Love? Do You Know?”
  1. As far as I think, love does not hinge on what is recipricated- a woman abused will continue to love her abuser, even while getting no love back-we love our children until we die whether they show us love in return or not- love like a carefully woven tapestry of trust, acceptance, kindness, patience, passion, forgiveness, committment, loyalty, and a host of other virtues. At first I found it hard to believe in unconditional love but if a person can love another regardless of or inspite of the hurt and pain that person has caused them, that is unconditional love.

    1. Nice comment, Ming, thank you. Food for thought.

      It probably should be noted that while an abused woman might continue to love her abuser, that is a condition of mental brainwashing, in most cases. It’s an unfair situation where she’s typically placed in a position of total dependency. She’d ‘think’ she loves the guy.

      That said, there’s certainly situations where we’re in a state of unconditional love AND one of the people involved simply needs to move out of the relationship. The abused woman is one such example – strong love which is likely to cause physical or mental harm.

      Love can be powerful in both a positive as well as a negative way. We hope our readers continue in the positive aspects of love.

  2. I agree with everyone thing you have written in your post…except the part about love being an emotion. From what I've come to understand, love is a conscious choice that we make in our mind to do all we can for someone else and wanting them to be happy and well.

    I believe there is no difference between loving you mom, brother, child or spouse.

    That being said, alongside, but seperate from love, we entertain emotions and feelings to include those of an intimate nature for our spouses. I say emotions are a seperate entity from love because emotions are often temperamental and subject to change over the littlest things. This alone keeps "love feelings" from being unconditional.

    1. Firstly, thanks for taking the time to visit us and being honest in expressing your views, Randall – very much appreciated.

      And I do agree with you that love isn't an emotion too. Personally, I'd suggest that love is actually a combination of emotions with various levels of each too i.e. whilst you might simply 'love' eating chocolate, those love levels are very distinct and different to the love and love levels you might feel for your partner which, in turn, would be different to that of your parents etc etc.

      And maybe the unconditional love is still an unconditional combination of feelings and all those temperamental changes are simply outside influential nuances 'in the moment'? i.e. the core feelings of unconditional love remain intact, with peripheral ups and downs swirling around.

      Did any of that make sense? Let me know what your thoughts are on this too please.

      1. I get what you are trying to say, but to me, emotions just don't seem like they can be described as unconditional. I see them as a primal expression of human nature, I've never seen any primal thing exhibit unconditional behavior. Whereas love is something that makes us want to set aside our instincts in order to safeguard and protect someone or something else.

        As I stated previously, I believe emotions and passion accompanies love while being separate from it. Speaking as a Christian man, I've been taught to love my enemy…it makes no sense to love someone whom you possess negative feelings for…unless feelings and love are two separate things.

        1. Hmm, interesting. So are you saying that love is a renamed word for a decision?

          I'm a little uncertain what you think love actually is then and I'd certainly love to know your thougts.
          Love is [please fill in this space].

          1. Simply put, love is sacrificing yourself entirely for someone else and completely trusting that they will fully return the effort you put into them. Which is yet another reason why love and emotions are separate from each other. Let's face it, our emotions aren't about other people. Our emotions are completely self centered own. That makes ME angry. I'M happy about that. Et cetera, et cetera. Self concerned emotions cannot act in a self sacrificing manner. Love has to be something else, something greater…is that clear enough?

        2. Saw your Tweet on this one. It's been on my mind recently so I thought I'd chime in, as I like to do.

          I agree on bits to all the sides presented so far. My view is it does have to do with levels of emotions as well as a conscious choice to move forward. Unconditional is a little far fetched for me to agree with yet my feelings of love at my current stage of relationships also involve lust as well as desire. Mind you that's also outside deeply liking someone which shouldn't get confused for love.

          The word love is often misunderstood for things like deep admiration, strong attraction and paternal bonding. The love I speak of certainly does involve lust, desire, respect and companionship.

  3. And I always thought I was just lightheaded hahaha
    Yes, I suppose there has to be some basic building blocks to what we know as love. And I agree with Jackers' comment, acceptance and appreciation are 2 powerful ones. Nice post

  4. Acceptance and appreciation – Very, very powerful things! A lot can be forgiven if you have acceptance (for who you and the other person are without trying to change them) and appreciation for all the things they ARE, not just all the things they may do.

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