Before you started blossoming, your Dad knew what was coming
There are actually two flavors of M&Ms at fault.
- Men and Mothers
- Media and Mindset
I’ve done a lot of research on this lately and it’s a sad reflection of how society has subtlety and innocuously affected a woman’s sexuality. To the point, most women probably don’t even realize they’re not the mature sexual beings that they were meant to be.
And by mature sexual beings, I don’t mean sluts or overtly promiscuous either. We all deserve the enjoyment, pleasure, and joy we were all meant destined for, as human beings.
Let me take you through what I mean and you’ll soon understand.
You might like to rekindle a previous post I did recently on What Is The Male Radar which will be a good preface.
So …..
Men and Sexuality
Whether you’re a father or a woman reading this, take your thoughts back to when you (or your daughter) were a little girl.
Even before she/you started blossoming with radiant hormones and visible breasts, your Dad knew what was coming – as did your Mother.
Remember how that little girl was constantly bombarded with subtle voices to cover herself up?
Neck-fitting tops?
Cute and innocent outfits that emphasized what a ‘Good Girl’ is supposed to look like?
From a very young age, females have had their bodies shackled into submission.
Sugar and Spice and all things nice
Or
We know what’s coming and this is what we want you to be like
Is it any wonder that this brainwashing permeates a grown woman’s actions, how she views her body and, ultimately, her views of her own sexuality and what a healthy body is supposed to be?
Mothers and Sexuality
The continuation of an inhibited woman into motherhood, sees the same re-education occur.
Your own mother has, very likely, lived her life in a repressed body and image restraint.
Her mind is already primed to reign down the same belief when she notices the maturation of her ‘little girl’.
Her mind is racing with the knowledge that her princess might fully understand sexual freedom – that simply must not happen!
Media and Sexuality
Get rid of Photoshop in media, for a start!
I could insert the few words of ‘Nuff Said’ and you’d understand the situation of how today’s Media Companies destroy a woman’s view of her body.
Television, movies, and print media is awash with the perceived view of what a female should look like.
This is also very much greed-based too.
A woman is continually conscious of her looks.
By taking advantage of a sliver of self-doubt and the media have an ever-increasing gravy train of saleable products … sad, but very true.
Unfortunately, you also have the continuation of perpetuating the world of female image and sexual constraint.
Mindset and Sexuality
The culmination of the preceding 3 M&Ms leads us into the formation of the 4th.
via Laurel Limpus-Liberation of Women … One of the most subtly destructive effects the myth of female chastity has had is to make women lie about the nature of their own sexuality. While the prevailing myths about virility make men feel they must be predatory, the prevailing myths about female sexuality often make even semi-liberated women demand to be treated as prey. … …
There are tremendous residual moral condemnations of female sexuality in all of us, in spite of our radical rhetoric.
A woman, even a relatively sexually liberated one, often finds it hard to approach a man sexually the way a man can approach her. Needless to say, less liberated women will be even more dishonest about their desires.
So tell me, what kind of woman are you (or what category of woman is your partner)?
- Are you totally (and I mean totally) at ease with your body and sexual outlook?
- Are you putting on a brave face to give the impression that you’re sexually liberated?
- Are you wanting to be more liberated but know you’ve got pent-up blocks that prevent you from being the woman you know you want to be?
- Are you the type who avoids thinking about this stuff and keeps your mind on other things, in your life?
It might be interesting if you both compare notes after you’ve both made a choice too.
Finally….
What are your thoughts on how society and history have affected both male and female sexual outlooks?
Men, Mothers, Media and Mindset.
Express your thoughts, in the comments below.
Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?
Martin Cooney – who has written 163 posts on GeekandJock.
You’ve addressed some really important information. Thank you for encouraging us to be the beautiful and special creatures that we are :)
Oh, my pleasure entirely, Connie and welcome to the site.
We are all beautiful and special creatures, men and women. Just that women have, historically, had it a lot tougher in the past. Unfortunately, it’s still a struggle but not more so than sexual equality and expression.
Where do you personally find the biggest hurdles in overcoming?
I think guys who make women feel like they are not pretty because they are in a relationship with them but are talking about how beautiful other women are of another race and in fact that they are more attracted to another race than what you are
is definitely hurtful, Im talking from personal experience
sometimes I realize that I am the woman a man is settling for or cheating on
I have alot to learn about how a woman should be treated
Thanks so much for you visit and thoughts, Chante.
Interesting comment too. There will always be men (as well as women) that will use mental tricks to get what they want from another person. There are also many men (and women) that don’t and act from the heart, instead of the mind.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find that guy.
And I think you know full well how you’d like to be treated as a woman and a human being. Don’t you?
I also realize that what somebody does is more important that what he or she is saying, being happy with myself and what I want is all I can do. Thank you for responding to my post.
Remember Chante that some guys are just emotional blackmailers and there are other guys that will love you no matter what and for who you really are, inside.
How are you going at the moment? Are you ok?
Its all about the perspective we choose to look at things, and the underlying truth may be all that is available at the moment even if it is the scary truth, everyone has gone through what we have gone through at some point and they still smile and get through it, when things happen to me I too can get through it, life is too short to feel sorry for yourself, rejection is something to be celebrated, it is an opportunity to show that we are ok with being rejected and can respect each others space, it opens the gates to meet someone new
I like how you cleverly incorporated the M&M’s! I think the new generation of teenagers today are the most crucial because they are the ones who are greatly affected by these cultural influences. A lot of teenage women have no self confidence and even plastic surgeries are even considered by the younger age group these days!
Oh don’t get me started on plastic surgery due to low self esteem in young people, Sara :)
Goodness, that’s just so very wrong! And. What the hell are their parents thinking?
As a young and attractive woman yourself, what’s the number 1 thing on the list that you think causes sexual doubt in younger women?
Wonderful post Martin- I like the M&M part – makes sense. I wrote a blog way back on how we are taught to be “nice” as women and we forget that we too are created to be BOLD. So many stipulations that society our family blueprints put on us. To discover ourselves and embrace our own sexuality is divine – we are made in HIS image and his image is LOVE.
Like you said, not provocative or a slut but sophisticated, feminine sensuality. I embrace it and love the fact that I am a woman.
Living in the possibilities,
Nancy
Glad you enjoyed the post, Nancy.
I agree – the honest embrace of your sexuality IS divine and something to actually be proud of. Acceptance of the wonderful person who you are.
Thank you for sharing as well as your public acceptance of who you are. I hope other ladies reading this will do the same and be themselves instead of who society forces them into being.
I’ve gone through ups and downs in my life. When I was skinny I found myself to be tremendously sexy. As I gained weight through the years I started to become uncomfortable with my body – and media didn’t help.
Men was not really a problem for me, my mother dealt with her own issues and it actually empowered me to be more proud of my body, media was a big issue, and mindset was the biggest.
I have to say that my husband is Italian and where he comes from woman were very sexual and proud of their bodies. They were curvy and proud of it, and he has helped me to become proud of my body instead of reaching for the stick non-curvy body.
I also went on a cruise that stopped at several Caribbean islands. For some reason the women there really made an impact on the way I felt about my female body and the sensuality of it. They were larger, curvy, and their sexuality oozed from every pore of their body. The danced freely and womanly and shook their bodies with pride. That was a big stepping stone for my own image of my female body. I stopped trying to hide what I had and instead showed it off.
It’s still a struggle. One day I’ll shake my ass proudly while I walk, and the next day I will try to cover it up and hide it. :) Although, with every moment that I purposely try to become perfectly happy with myself, and believe that I am an amazing specimen of the female image, I get closer to totally believing it.
I forgot to add – great article – it really is an important subject to talk about, and I love the M&M’s part…that really got my attention and it really makes sense.
Oh that’s a brilliant story, Bellaisa – thank you so much for sharing it too.
It’s interesting, isn’t it, how some cultures embody a woman’s beauty as natural and sensual and other’s simply look at it as a money making enterprise which promotes an ongoing negative (and innocuous) outlook.
More importantly, sensational you’ve identified this insidious scheme and are finding your way to self-image enlightenment. That’s so cool – though I can understand how it’s an ongoing struggle too.
lol I so laughed out loud when you said you’ll wiggle proudly one day and hide away the next. but then I realised that I’m just the same.
Why do you think that is?
I thought it might be some kinda insecurity thing but I’m not so sure. Loved the article.
Nice post Martin. Photoshop is driving people towards the fake world. I’ve seen girls paying some Photoshop geeks to change their pics more beautiful, or fake should I say? And all those ‘paid’ pics are just meant to get likes for Facebook!
I often say to them – “Get a life!”
Interesting comment, Raaj, thank you.
Every photo in the world is somehow altered, be it by the camera as it’s taking the picture or afterwards. That’s cool.
And there are reasons to make some clearer, brighter or enhanced – hell, I love taking photos myself and just about every one is doctored in some way as beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it’s an art form too.
BUT when this behaviour starts impacting on a women’s view of herself and does so en masse, we’ve got a freaking problem.
What’s the response you get from these girls though? Do they understand what you’re trying to tell them?