GeekandJock

Why Complicate Your Life?

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Is The Zen of Relationships Your Vocal Cords?

I have a relationship where I’m an external person (I much prefer to talk) and she’s an internal thinker (she prefers to mull things over in her head first).

Both are fine but it raises the question or maybe questions as to how best to communicate.

And let me tell you, this scenario has caused some conflict in working out disagreements.

Thankfully, we both love each other deeply and life is a learning experience and always will be.

Can everyone’s relationship be peaceful and open?
What does it take for a couple to attain Zen and Harmony?

The Easy Ones

Well, some of the points above are so easy for both of us.

  • Saying I Love You?
    • That’s an easy one for most people already in a relationship and carrying an true expression
  • Like something?
    • Usually that’s pretty easy as well.

Granted, it’s going to be different for everyone and we all have a thinking process that differs from our partner – I get that too.

Let me repeat that:

“We all have a thinking process that differs from our partner” – Click To Tweet

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These are usually also the areas carrying the most benefit when it’s factored into making an open, transparent relationship reach new heights of harmony.

In my view, here’s the top areas that a lot of couples have difficulty in properly communicating and/or simply can’t bring themselves to verbalise:

  • I Don’t Like Something
    • On the surface, you might think your objections could cause a negative reaction in your partner
    • There’s also a good chance they also don’t really like what you don’t like as well
    • Truth. Is keeping this stuff bottled up inside really good for you as well as ensuring you both understand each other?
  • I Want Something
    • Quite similar to the above. Needing something and letting your partner know what that is can really open up a relationship for you.
    • Your partner just might love to give you what you need
    • If not, at least you’ll know and why. Doesn’t this then open up communication to understand why as well as look for another goal ?
  • I’ve Got Questions
    • We all suffer from the uncertainty as to whether to ask or not, don’t we?
    • It’s natural to hesitate when we’ve got doubts dancing inside our head
    • Questions lead to answers
    • Uncertainty dissolves into clarity
  • I Want To Be Understood
    • This is probably the one I’ve personally found to most challenging
    • I want to be understood in my language, with my history being taken into account
    • That’s often tough to convey, as I found out
    • Perseverence … arguments … conversation … eventual mutual understanding
    • A way better relationship that moves forward … we all want that

Where does your relationship sit in the pillar of Zen?
At the bottom with a great weight always on top of you or higher up with freedom?

Expression and Enlightenment

Zen emphasizes the personal expression of experiential wisdom in the attainment of enlightenment.

If you really want to know more, get a free and instant download gift below.

Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

  • What one thing you believe is the most challenging in gaining Relationship Zen?
  • Does you thinking differ to that of your partner?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.

And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

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About the Author:

Martin is a DTE, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company - as well as coffee. I’ll talk to almost anyone …. ok, anyone….

Martin – who has written posts on GeekandJock.


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  1. Mitch Brown
    April 22, 2013

    Mitch Brown

    Wow, you sure know how to cut to the chase of life’s outlook, don’t you? Yeah, I know I’m usually looking at the complicated view of most things. Maybe that’s just what a busy lifestyle tends to make me do. I dunno, what do you think?

    • Avatar of Martin
      April 23, 2013

      Martin

      Busy people usually do tend to complicate their own lives, true that, Mitch.
      The hussle and bustle carries us away and our mindset stays in ‘busy mode’. The post was more a reflection that there’s always a different point of view on life.
      Calm down a little and smell the roses.
      Martin recently posted..Re-Ignite The Passion In Your Relationship In 5 Easy StepsMy Profile

    • Avatar of Martin
      May 13, 2012

      Martin

      Thanks Raaj – yeah, for too long in my life, I was the same as most people.
      Always careful to not say the wrong thing, reluctant to ask questions in case it caused an argument or even ask for want I want for fear of rejection.

      It’s way better to be honest and up-front. What’s the worst that happen? You’ll either be wrong, right or in a great conversation to understand the other person better.

      A good result either way.
      Martin recently posted..Poll: Should Everyone Tell It Like It Is OR Never Say You’re SexyMy Profile

      • May 13, 2012

        Raaj Trambadia

        Exactly! It was just yesterday that we had a very important meeting in school auditorium. All the heads of the school, the parents, the students (of course!) etc. Many students had many questions and suggestions regarding the subject being discussed, but I was the only one who spoke from the students :)
        Raaj Trambadia recently posted..The Real Secret Behind Ctrl+Alt+Delete!My Profile

      • Avatar of Gary
        May 10, 2013

        Gary

        Yeah, I tend to agree with @raaj here too. Speak you heart out and from the heart.
        Great message @thegeek

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