Is The Zen of Relationships Your Vocal Cords?
I have a relationship where I’m an external person (I much prefer to talk) and she’s an internal thinker (she prefers to mull things over in her head first).
Both are fine but it raises the question or maybe questions as to how best to communicate.
And let me tell you, this scenario has caused some conflict in working out disagreements.
Thankfully, we both love each other deeply and life is a learning experience and always will be.

Can everyone’s relationship be peaceful and open?
What does it take for a couple to attain Zen and Harmony?
The Easy Ones
Well, some of the points above are so easy for both of us.
- Saying I Love You?
- That’s an easy one for most people already in a relationship and carrying an true expression
- Like something?
- Usually that’s pretty easy as well.
Granted, it’s going to be different for everyone and we all have a thinking process that differs from our partner – I get that too.
Let me repeat that:
The Often Difficult Words To Get Out
In my view, here’s the top areas that a lot of couples have difficulty in properly communicating and/or simply can’t bring themselves to verbalise:
- I Don’t Like Something
- On the surface, you might think your objections could cause a negative reaction in your partner
- There’s also a good chance they also don’t really like what you don’t like as well
- Truth. Is keeping this stuff bottled up inside really good for you as well as ensuring you both understand each other?
- I Want Something
- Quite similar to the above. Needing something and letting your partner know what that is can really open up a relationship for you.
- Your partner just might love to give you what you need
- If not, at least you’ll know and why. Doesn’t this then open up communication to understand why as well as look for another goal ?
- I’ve Got Questions
- We all suffer from the uncertainty as to whether to ask or not, don’t we?
- It’s natural to hesitate when we’ve got doubts dancing inside our head
- Questions lead to answers
- Uncertainty dissolves into clarity
- I Want To Be Understood
- This is probably the one I’ve personally found to most challenging
- I want to be understood in my language, with my history being taken into account
- That’s often tough to convey, as I found out
- Perseverence … arguments … conversation … eventual mutual understanding
- A way better relationship that moves forward … we all want that

Where does your relationship sit in the pillar of Zen?
At the bottom with a great weight always on top of you or higher up with freedom?
Expression and Enlightenment
Zen emphasizes the personal expression of experiential wisdom in the attainment of enlightenment.
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Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
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Mitch Brown
Wow, you sure know how to cut to the chase of life’s outlook, don’t you? Yeah, I know I’m usually looking at the complicated view of most things. Maybe that’s just what a busy lifestyle tends to make me do. I dunno, what do you think?
Martin
Busy people usually do tend to complicate their own lives, true that, Mitch.
The hussle and bustle carries us away and our mindset stays in ‘busy mode’. The post was more a reflection that there’s always a different point of view on life.
Calm down a little and smell the roses.
Martin recently posted..Re-Ignite The Passion In Your Relationship In 5 Easy Steps
Raaj Trambadia
This is what I give a thumbs up to! Just speak your heart out!
(dofollow)
Raaj Trambadia recently posted..“Better to light a candle than curse the darkness”
Martin
Thanks Raaj – yeah, for too long in my life, I was the same as most people.
Always careful to not say the wrong thing, reluctant to ask questions in case it caused an argument or even ask for want I want for fear of rejection.
It’s way better to be honest and up-front. What’s the worst that happen? You’ll either be wrong, right or in a great conversation to understand the other person better.
A good result either way.
Martin recently posted..Poll: Should Everyone Tell It Like It Is OR Never Say You’re Sexy
Raaj Trambadia
Exactly! It was just yesterday that we had a very important meeting in school auditorium. All the heads of the school, the parents, the students (of course!) etc. Many students had many questions and suggestions regarding the subject being discussed, but I was the only one who spoke from the students :)
Raaj Trambadia recently posted..The Real Secret Behind Ctrl+Alt+Delete!
Gary
Yeah, I tend to agree with @raaj here too. Speak you heart out and from the heart.
Great message @thegeek