Is The Zen of Relationships Your Vocal Cords?
I have a relationship where I’m an external person (I much prefer to talk) and she’s an internal thinker (she prefers to mull things over in her head first).
Both are fine but it raises the question or maybe questions as to how best to communicate.
And let me tell you, this scenario has caused some conflict in working out disagreements.
Thankfully, we both love each other deeply and life is a learning experience and always will be.
The Easy Ones
Well, some of the points above are so easy for both of us.
- Saying I Love You?
- That’s an easy one for most people already in a relationship and carrying an true expression
- Like something?
- Usually that’s pretty easy as well.
Granted, it’s going to be different for everyone and we all have a thinking process that differs from our partner – I get that too.
Let me repeat that:
The Often Difficult Words To Get Out
In my view, here’s the top areas that a lot of couples have difficulty in properly communicating and/or simply can’t bring themselves to verbalise:
- I Don’t Like Something
- On the surface, you might think your objections could cause a negative reaction in your partner
- There’s also a good chance they also don’t really like what you don’t like as well
- Truth. Is keeping this stuff bottled up inside really good for you as well as ensuring you both understand each other?
- I Want Something
- Quite similar to the above. Needing something and letting your partner know what that is can really open up a relationship for you.
- Your partner just might love to give you what you need
- If not, at least you’ll know and why. Doesn’t this then open up communication to understand why as well as look for another goal ?
- I’ve Got Questions
- We all suffer from the uncertainty as to whether to ask or not, don’t we?
- It’s natural to hesitate when we’ve got doubts dancing inside our head
- Questions lead to answers
- Uncertainty dissolves into clarity
- I Want To Be Understood
- This is probably the one I’ve personally found to most challenging
- I want to be understood in my language, with my history being taken into account
- That’s often tough to convey, as I found out
- Perseverence … arguments … conversation … eventual mutual understanding
- A way better relationship that moves forward … we all want that
Expression and Enlightenment
Zen emphasizes the personal expression of experiential wisdom in the attainment of enlightenment.
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