Distance and a Relationship - What Next?
When you’re suddenly plunged into a long distance relationship, the next steps can seem daunting.
- You’re going to be afraid.
- There’ll be an immediate doubt that things will survive.
- Will they remain faithful?
- How do I cope without touching them?
Imagine you’ve already spent time together and then the situation changes.
- A Job Transfer
- Schools Change
- Your Parents Move Location
What was once a stable relationship has had it’s foundation rocked to the core.
Change isn’t something most people are fond of, despite it being a fantastic learning experience.
One of our forum members recently wrote about this and to summarise:
A Common LDR Situation
You’ve got a relationship that’s turned into an LDR, after having being together for some period of time.
There’s an established physical bond and connection.
"We were making plans to meet up over the holidays but due to parents and their plans, that’s really unlikely to now happen. She lives with her parents so visiting her isn’t an option.
Neither of us have any idea of when we will see each other again or when we’ll meet up again either. It could be in a year or two. We’ve got no clue whether that could just be for a week or for a month either.
We’re kinda hoping her parents are going to be more accepting of the situation and encourage us to see each other.
Where do we really go from here and should we even bother since this whole distance thing seems insurmountable. At least at the moment it does"
Weigh Up The Importance?
Some long distance relationships will simply end because one person will be unable to cope with the distance.
It will depend on just how strong your love is and how committed both of you are to it’s success.
No matter what obstacles are placed in-front of you.
Is it worth the effort?
Most things of value in life will be. Trivial pursuits are soon forgotten.
What To Do Next
First up for anyone in this situation, you both need to be very clear on your own goals - this has nothing to do with parents.
They’ll be an entirely separate situation to deal with.
Speak openly together and seriously understand and define your relationship goals.
The object here is to ensure you are BOTH 100% committed to seeing your partnership through to the end (which is eventually living together, once more).
Once you’ve tackled your own objectives and cemented the foundation, anything else is secondary - that includes family and friends.
Remember here that Long Distance Relationships have a stigma attached, for most people who’ve never had one.
The stigma is that distance is a relationship killer. For people already in an LDR, we know that stigma is rubbish. They can and do work.
For friends and family who have objections or reservations towards you and your loved one, explaining your foundational commitment will go a long way towards them better understanding the situation.
Take note of their other doubts too.
This is likely to help you both with your relationship and future doubts that will spring into life.
Distance has a nasty habit of placing negative thoughts, when you’re separated.
Gathering Support Around You
Eventually turning doubtful people into supportive parents, family and friends will become your ally.
Long Distance Relationships have obstacles other partnerships don’t have.
And that’s OK too.
Establishing a support group amongst trusted people in your inner circle will pave the way in them helping you through those frustrating moments when the distance or lack of intimacy will seem insurmountable.
Let me assure you ‘No Pain, No Gain’.
The one major one is you’ll have a bond with your significant other that few others attain.
Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
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