You’re In A Long Distance Relationship – Where To Next?

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You’re In A Long Distance Relationship – Where To Next?

Distance and a Relationship – What Next?

When you’re suddenly plunged into a long distance relationship, the next steps can seem daunting.

  • You’re going to be afraid.
  • There’ll be an immediate doubt that things will survive.
  • Will they remain faithful?
  • How do I cope without touching them?

 

where does a long distance relationship lead to

Do you know where you’re heading?

Imagine you’ve already spent time together and then the situation changes.

  • A Job Transfer
  • Schools Change
  • Your Parents Move Location

What was once a stable relationship has had it’s foundation rocked to the core.

Change isn’t something most people are fond of, despite it being a fantastic learning experience.

 

One of our forum members recently wrote about this and to summarise:

A Common LDR Situation

You’ve got a relationship that’s turned into an LDR, after having being together for some period of time.

There’s an established physical bond and connection.

“We were making plans to meet up over the holidays but due to parents and their plans, that’s really unlikely to now happen. She lives with her parents so visiting her isn’t an option.

Neither of us have any idea of when we will see each other again or when we’ll meet up again either. It could be in a year or two. We’ve got no clue whether that could just be for a week or for a month either.

We’re kinda hoping her parents are going to be more accepting of the situation and encourage us to see each other.

Where do we really go from here and should we even bother since this whole distance thing seems insurmountable. At least at the moment it does”

 

Weigh Up The Importance?

You CAN WIN in a Divorce - I have and I'll tell you how too!

Some long distance relationships will simply end because one person will be unable to cope with the distance.

It will depend on just how strong your love is and how committed both of you are to it’s success.

No matter what obstacles are placed in-front of you.

Is it worth the effort?

Most things of value in life will be. Trivial pursuits are soon forgotten.

 

What To Do Next

First up for anyone in this situation, you both need to be very clear on your own goals – this has nothing to do with parents.

They’ll be an entirely separate situation to deal with.

 

Your Definition

Speak openly together and seriously understand and define your relationship goals.

The object here is to ensure you are BOTH 100% committed to seeing your partnership through to the end (which is eventually living together, once more).

 

Family

Once you’ve tackled your own objectives and cemented the foundation, anything else is secondary – that includes family and friends.

support from family and friends

Your greatest long term allies will be those close to you

Remember here that Long Distance Relationships have a stigma attached, for most people who’ve never had one.

The stigma is that distance is a relationship killer. For people already in an LDR, we know that stigma is rubbish. They can and do work.

For friends and family who have objections or reservations towards you and your loved one, explaining your foundational commitment will go a long way towards them better understanding the situation.

Take note of their other doubts too.

This is likely to help you both with your relationship and future doubts that will spring into life.

Distance has a nasty habit of placing negative thoughts, when you’re separated.

 

Gathering Support Around You

Eventually turning doubtful people into supportive parents, family and friends will become your ally.

Long Distance Relationships have obstacles other partnerships don’t have.

And that’s OK too.

Establishing a support group amongst trusted people in your inner circle will pave the way in them helping you through those frustrating moments when the distance or lack of intimacy will seem insurmountable.

Let me assure you ‘No Pain, No Gain’.

Enduring a long distance relationships has many rewards.

The one major one is you’ll have a bond with your significant other that few others attain.

 

Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

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And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

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Avatar of Martin

Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company – as well as coffee. I’ll talk to almost anyone …. ok, anyone….

Martin – who has written posts on GeekandJock.


Comments

  1. wrote on January 6th, 2013 at 6:58 am

    Fatima

    LDR comes with bitter sweet challenges but if handled smartly, with honesty and respect for each other; it can go a long way. Great share.

  2. wrote on January 5th, 2013 at 2:10 am

    Aayna

    When love is strong, distance hardly matters. What is important in a long distance relationship is trusting your partner. If you have the adequate amount of trust, distance becomes never a issue. You have shared great thoughts about LDR. I would like to quote here an example of a couple, who for me are an epitome of love. The guy is 3 years older to the girl. They met during their school. Then guy did his engineering from a different city. The girl after completion of school started with her medical studies. Till then, the guy shifted his base to another country, then the girl also persued further studies from a different nation. But, they were together, they loved each other piously and finally last year they exchanged the rings. Thanks.

    • Avatar of Martin
      wrote on January 5th, 2013 at 1:15 pm

      Martin
      Twitter:

      Wow, what a truly wonder story, Aayna.
      Oh I know LDRs certainly can and do work. Pam and I are also living proof of that.
      I can tell you though that it often isn’t an easy romance to get into unless you better understand yourself, your LDR partner and what you need to do to ensure things are kept on-track.
      An LDR can be very tough for a lot of people who aren’t prepared for the difference that come about by the distance.

      Thank you again for the beautiful story too.
      Martin recently posted..Does Your Bedroom Set the Mood for Romance?My Profile

      • wrote on January 5th, 2013 at 9:47 pm

        Mitch

        I’ve been here myself, Martin.
        For me, it turned out to be an unpleasant experience – we both were unable to cope with the miles apart and the long time ‘between drinks’, so to speak.
        Great tips though

        • Avatar of Martin
          wrote on January 17th, 2013 at 2:17 am

          Martin
          Twitter:

          I hear ya, Mitch and sometimes things like this happen for a reason too.
          Whether its a weakness in the relationship or someone’s true personality coming out, it’s actually a good thing the relationship ended as soon as it did …. In hindsight, that is.
          It’s a test of the relationship’s strength, in differing circumstances.
          Get back on the horse and seek out the lady that’s meant for you, mate.
          Martin recently posted..I Love Her But I Don’t Want To Be With HerMy Profile

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