Staying Alive
Zombies will freaking kill you!
You think it’s tough living with a real live man or woman today, what until you have Zombies trying to chew your arse off.
The living dead aren’t so forgiving as a real life flesh-and-blood man or woman when it comes to the apocalypse, raining down on you. When given the choice of looking for a win-win resolution, a human being with a normal brain is far likely to want to live in harmony.
When you have a healthy relationship with a non-zombie, survival will be easier. You’ve got someone to depend on, help you with planning future food raids and generally covering your back so it doesn’t get chewed on.
It’s a bit like life in the 20th Century, isn’t it (other than the flesh eating part)?
It’s gonna be tough having a meaningful relationship with either of these two
What’s the alternative for a guy or gal?
Zombie Distraction
Let’s redefine the importance of monogamy when you’re surrounded by the angry undead hordes.
You’re a man and a woman, looking to survive the outside nasties. At every turn, there’s a prevailing threat that something has the potential to tear your partnership asunder.
What are your needed battle tactics?
- Communicate intentions (stick together no matter how hard it gets)
- Be aware zombies will be looking to take you out (you might just be looking for some 10 year old cans of baked beans with a fellow zombie killers but they might be infected too.)
- Never think you are always safe. Flesh Eaters know if you’re weak and will likely bide their time in looking for the opportunity when you show that weakness to them.
- Communicate intentions (stick together no matter how hard it gets)
- Be aware other single people will be looking to take you out (you might just be working with a fellow work collegue but that Christmas party when you’re drunk is a killer.)
- Never think you are always safe. Adulterers know if you’re weak and will likely bide their time in looking for the opportunity when you show weakness to them.
I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure I prefer my women with more flesh and vitality than this one
You Just Might Only Have One Chance. Make It Count
You can’t live with a soulless corpse.
- A long term apocalyptic relationship can’t survive when the partnership has weak or unsteady foundations
- Get your team of two on track to survive, despite the dangers and hardships against a world of the living dead.
- Treat your zombie fighting partner with respect, honesty and make sure they know what’s going on – they’re the ones watching your back, aren’t they?
- A healthy relationship can’t survive when the partnership has weak or unsteady foundations
- Get your team of two on track to survive, despite the dangers and hardships against a world of decaying morales and supposed financial burden.
- Treat your loving partner with respect, honesty and make sure they know what’s going on – they’re the ones watching your back, aren’t they?
Fight the world together, as one.
You’d be surprise what a powerful team you make
Dead Souls Can’t Talk All That Well
No one knows you as well as your gun toting babe.
And no one can exist in a partnership where that other soul looks back at you with a vacant stare.
- You know Zombies don’t communicate all that well, right? (Except with gnashing teeth)
- And they don’t want to either. Groans are typically something you hear when you’re about to get eaten.
- So living with a Zombie will most certainly see you ending the relationship, real quick. Death, maybe.
- There isn’t too many compliments you can give, to make it better, either. (“Hey babe, I love those milky lifeless eyes and festering blisters” – doesn’t do it, does it?)
- Man and woman – they’re built to communicate with each other.
- Your partner really does want to talk to you but just might be ‘stuck’. You make the first move, without any sort of blame or judgement.
- The groans you want to hear are the ones of pleasure.
- Humans love knowing they’re special. Compliments to your gun toting sweetheart will bring love and survival. Try it!
If your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend has vacant eyes like this one, you need to work on your communication skills
Nothing worse than Zombies in a relationship
Have Your Say
About the Author:
Martin is a DTE, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company - as well as coffee. I’ll talk to almost anyone …. ok, anyone….
Martin – who has written 130 posts on GeekandJock.
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Feeding People
Vernial Berry
Twitter: Vernial_Berry
I think I’d have to keep my human relationship. A zombie may not argue but at least a human wont try and kill you, well for the most part.
Martin
Twitter: GeekandJock
hahaha yeah, what do you value most about your human relationship Vernial?
Martin recently posted..Small Gestures Can Reap Big Rewards
Anita
Twitter: BikiniWaxVideo
Oh my Goodness! You’ll think I’m having a lend of you here, Geek, but I am utterly OBSESSED with Zombies! Love, love LOVE ‘The Walking Dead.’ I shouldn’t be surprised that a blog I’m growing to love should also feature a very tongue-in-cheek zombie post! You’ve made my day! :P
M. Winegar
Zombies may look at you as a human Big Mac, but on the other hand they never argue.
Martin
Twitter: GeekandJock
It's likely they'll argue about which leg they'll chew off first though :)
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