Is There An Art To Manliness?
Somewhere between the Dos Equis guy and the first cave man to singlehandedly take down a mammoth lies the recipe to the art of manliness.
There have been many manly men throughout history, sure, but a few stand out, like the guy who thought maybe to pair beer with sausage,
… it’s a list in progress.
Something else that should be in progress is your training to become manlier.
Are you wearing sweatpants on the streets?
Then pay some attention here. You don’t need to become a proper Renaissance man, but some training is due.
They say it’s all about the beard these days.
Sure, growing hair on your face is nature’s own way of confirming you’re a real boy, but appearances don’t count if you can’t back them up (with, say, pyramid push-ups, for starters).
You need to pick up a lifestyle or two, and make them a hobby.
If there were ever a perfume for men, and it doesn’t smell like wood-shavings, that sissy-liquid is not worthy of your neck.
Calluses are painful, but pain is only weakness leaving the body.
Toughen up man-child!
Jesus was a carpenter, and he was a fly homeboy.
- Can you build your lady a kitchen?
- Will your kids have a tree house?
- Will you grow up to be the father figure movies will be based upon?
Neither sexism nor feminism will make you a sandwich, so give up on the tropes and learn to feed yourself.
Yes, mom’s cooking was the best. Have some heart, call her up and ask her for that stew recipe.
A real man entertains his friends with barbecued steak, not crisps … just saying.
Can you grill it?
Then grill it.
Have a battle plan, but choose it wisely.
You don’t need an outfit to fight, your fists are your props.
Krav Maga is an option, Aikido is not.
The streets are a dangerous place to be after hours, so learn how to keep those teenage punks in check.
Don’t initiate combat, you’re a man and not a bully.
Protect the innocent, defend the weak. Ser Jaime Lannister, new and improved.
Li Shang? Make a man out of him.
Have a dog
Bonus points if it’s a big one, your manly strength can handle walking a big dog.
“That’s a cute Golden Retriever. Here, meet my German Shepard.”
Train that mutt. Chicks dig trained mutts.
Everybody likes a trained mutt.
He who cares for a dog, gets the girl.
School those local kids on how to land the perfect goal.
Don’t react when you land the perfect goal.
Hit the basketball field with your manly buddies, not the sports bar.
Baseball is for children. And joggers.
The NFL is always looking.
Learn how to drive.
Like really drive.
When you drive a car, you are in control of everybody in it. You are Major General. Your troops need you.
Don’t yell at the bad drivers. They are weak and need your strong guidance.
Got a car? Fix your own damn car.
Greaser mode: ON
It’s like having a car, but better.
You are the master of the waves.
Model girlfriend location: your deck.
You think it’s hard to fix a car? Try fixing a boat.
“You may call me Captain”
Matthew McConaughey sailing off with his Pops at the end of Mud.
- Stay still.
Learn how to shoot a gun because somebody is gonna have to be Rick Grimes one day.
John Wayne was a real man, and he could hunt down his own dinner. Are you saying you can’t?
“Kids, we’re having venison for dinner”
Not Duck Dynasty, those guys are quacks.
Arsenals are for the army. You’re a manly man, not a garrison, you don’t need automated weapons.
Develop Your Damn Interests.
Not wrestling moves, not movie trivia, not your record collection, and certainly not your video games.
- What do you know about whiskey?
You are a classy manly man and you do classy things in your pastime.
Serve people your own brewed beer, because you know that shit.
You are the Dos Equis guy.
At the end of the day, if you can’t pull off a Sean Bean at a bar, get shot, beat bad guys, order a drink, and protect a supermodel, and call that a casual Wednesday, call your mother again, and apologize.
What’s Your Opinion?
- OK which one are you trying first?
- Or is it easier to start with just wine, cigars and beer? :)
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Tell us your thoughts, in the comments below.
4 thoughts on “A Man’s Man Activities”
In south-america where I live, most men activities are sports (football) and cars.
With all due respect…
For a site that seems to have strict guidelines about how a person should post on this site, and how the written word should be tried and true long before being posted, I must say that most of what I’ve read so far is lacking in depth and gravitas, and, for the most part, seems to only portray all the charm god gave a Marine-Drill-Sergeant, and is no way of telling us all how to do whatever the topic is in such forceful tones that I completely turned me off by the writing styles.
Here’s a tip done in the style presented: YOU NEED TO READ “HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE” by Dale Carnegie. You can’t bark orders out to people and expect them to take you seriously. The above article is a prime example! Declarative statements on such a website are not attractive quality, especially if you plan on capturing the readers interest. I lost mine about 20 sentences into this article, and referencing further only verified my suspicions.
I am a man, a real man, who has been a carpenter his whole life, was a high school jock, a body guard, a bar doorman and bouncer, and a theatrical performer, singer, recording artist, and overall celebrity. I’ve also had to fight many stereotypes due to being gay. Yes, that’s right, Gay men are just as manly as straight men. I don’t care if you believe me or not, but if I knew you personally, you would understand what I mean completely. I don’t sound gay, I don’t act gay, and I don’t seem gay to any one who knows me. I’ve built homes from the ground up, renovated homes in National Historic neighborhoods, and have been recognized and celebrated for my creativity as a visual artist. Yet, the article I just read about being a man has really made me angry.
Terms such as: “Something else that should be in progress is your training to become manlier.” Just so you know, I don’t NEED to be any more manlier than I already am! “Why you? Are you wearing sweatpants on the streets?” Hell, yes, I wear sweat pants on the streets. Yet, I also wear my Dunn and Bradstreet clothing on the streets. What the hell does wearing sweat pants on the street have to do with my manliness?? When I work, I make a real mess. I am NOT going to wear my Dolce & Gabana suit while using a table saw or while I am painting a mural, you idiot! And if, during this process, I need to drive to Home Depot, I am not, I repeat, I will NOT change clothes to do so. In what world do you live in, anyway?
The worst part of all of this is that it is implied that a WOMAN wrote this hate filled article?!?!?!?!? OMJG!!! WTF, man?? Who made the executive decision to allow a woman to write an article about how to be more manly? That has GOT to be the most idiotic decision making technique I have ever seen!
I may write for this site at some point in the future, but NOT until I get the certainty that whoever is in charge can make better decisions than this! Having a woman tell the men who read this site that:
A: They are not manly enough, and need to do A, B, and C to become so. And,
B: Finding out that it is a woman telling them they are not manly enough, and that SHE knows enough about being a man to tell me what I need to do to remedy such a thing,
is not only the worst type of insult, but it also means I won’t be in a hurry to come back to this site to read any more of such drivel!
It is not only an insult to my manliness, but it also reeks of man-bashing, even harridanism! The author needs to read Dale Carnegie in order to learn that to get someone to do what you want, you need more honey than vinegar! And this article is overflowing with vinegar!
No, thanks. you can keep you suggestions to yourself, ma’m!
Welcome to the site, Alan and thank you for your comments.
The site actually does not place editorial restrictions of any kind on the nature of content. We do take a dim view on people showing a lack of respect towards others however.
If a woman wishes to write about her view of what she thinks manliness is all about then that is just fine with us. If you disagree with her views then that’s fine too – just avoid displaying disrespect towards her which your comments above so blatantly do do.
If you as a gay ex-doorman, bouncer, carpenter, performer, celebrity would like to write an article on a topic/s of your choosing then you’re most welcome to. If you prefer to never revisit the site again then that’s also your choice.
The next time you choose to comment, ensure you display respect towards your fellow Internet citizens, including the author of the article.
I think you maybe misinterpreted this article just a wee bit.
This is a satirical piece. If there were a comedic font, I’d have used it (*khm* comic sans *khm*).
In other words, it’s for the laughs.
But your comment that wasn’t comedic, and it wasn’t all right.
Firstly, nowhere is sexual orientation mentioned, so please don’t squander this argument. There’s enough homophobia in the world without the imagined kind.
Secondly, if you’re offended, you should lash out at the offender’s gender? That’s some twisted psychology there.
I’m sure the misunderstanding simply came from the tone. Sometimes it’s hard to read into the context of a written message, so perhaps you would fill your life with more chuckles than grunts if you took that into consideration next time an article looks off.
Have a great day Alan, take it easy, and don’t let online articles shake your fundamentals no more.