Ok ladies, this post one is for us.
Keep alive the flame of that the two of you sparked when you first laid eye on each other
I want to talk about a way to keep your relationship from getting stale, routine, or just downright uninteresting.
No, this isn’t an article about spicing up things in the bedroom.
Specifically, I want to address ways that you can improve your relationship on a daily basis.
It doesn’t require any earth shattering changes in character or anything.
Its about the little things.
Simple, Genuine and Loving
When I say little things, I’m talking about simple and genuine gestures of love and gratitude for your man.
This doesn’t mean that you should go out and buy him a small gift every day or make a point to tell him that you love him twice a day.
The little things are unforced, natural expressions meant to show your man that you’re glad to be his other half.
Let me explain it a little more.
The little things can be as simple as compliment about how he looks today, or bringing up a tender moment from when the two of you first met.
It’s a way to keep alive the flame of that the two of you sparked when you first laid eye on each other.
You can think of it as a reversal of the traditional rules of attraction in a relationship.
From romantic comedies to real life experience, we’re constantly told that men should be chasing us like some sort of unattainable goddess that simply deigns to be in a relationship.
Why not turn the tables a little and show a little bit of that aggressive romance to your man?
You’ll certainly catch him off guard, and he might appreciate the change of pace.
Relationship Advice Rule #1: If It Ain’t Broke ….
In my experience, men tend to adhere to a “don’t fix it if it isn’t broken” approach when it comes to their relationships.
By that I mean that they usually won’t go to the effort of doing something spontaneous or adventurous with their girlfriends or spouses if they don’t see any clear reason to do so.
The thrill of the chase mostly dies off once they enter a solid long-term relationship.
They might not see that healthy relationships thrive on spontaneity and keeping things interesting.
So What Do I Do?
I rely on these little things to get their attention and make them understand the importance of a dynamic relationship.
Specifically, I’ll compliment their looks, or I’ll propose something spontaneous and out of the blue for us to do.
I’ll tell my boyfriend “You know, you look really hot right now” out of nowhere to catch him off guard.
By now it doesn’t surprise him as much as it did when we first started dating, but he does like it.
It’s a bit of playful banter that makes him smile, and that’s all I want when I’m talking about addressing the little things.
It’s about punctuating your experience with playful, unexpected, but ultimately loving moments that lets your man know that you care.
But It’s Also Still A Two Way Thing Too
Of course I’m not saying that its solely up to us to keep the relationship alive.
But as I said earlier, I think that men are slow to act in any way to change things up in a long-term relationship.
If anything, the power of doing little things for your man should hopefully spur him to reciprocate the same gestures.
I also advise against doing these little things with a mental tally of how many things you’ve done for him lately versus what he’s done for you.
It’s not about keeping a balanced log of favors and niceties.
It’s about exactly the opposite—throwing caution to the wind, pushing the boundaries of a well defined relationship little by little so that it’s always going somewhere fresh and new.
So What About You Then?
So ladies, what do little things do you do to keep your man interested?
What would you like to see from him?
4 thoughts on “Relationship Advice In Doing The Little Things”
I love a spontanious compliment about my looks as much as the next girl. The one thing that I think tops them all though when it comes to doing ‘the little things,’ is an off the cuff conversation – and I’m talking about a real one. Too many couples quickly exchange conversation for questions – ‘have you paid that bill?’ ‘are we going to that thing this weekend?’ ‘when is her birthday, again?’
When I sit down with my partner and out of the blue he TALKS to me I go all giddy inside. These chats usually go on for hours and, truth be told, often end is some of the best intimate moments. :p
That’s so cool to hear, Anita – I think you need to think about doing a Guest Blog post for us to further explain all that. Want do you think?
And I certainly do get the value in a ‘real’ conversation too. I love them and there is always those casual talks that need to be had too.
This is wonderful advice if you are an insensitive unappreciative partner. What of you compliment everyday, buy small tokens, make tokens, talk AND listen … All the things you should do. You have found her love language. You honor and respect it but still she wants things to be ‘like they used to’….
Sounds like you have something else to say, Drrevdean.
Some women's love language has absolutely nothing to do with gifts or the things you mention. What does your lady indicate 'those things that used to be' actually were/are? That's the real question.
My recent post Top 5 Reasons Men Fall In Love