Can Long Distance Relationships Work For You?

When I was out in the cold on the dating cycle a few years ago, my only thoughts were connecting with women in my local area.

Well, at least within a few hour’s drive from where I lived.

I had the thought that long distance relationships were going to be a challenge.

In my head, some of those areas were going to include the simple matter of talking, touching, and seeing that special person.

And indeed, a few interesting ladies did happen by that lived in other cities and towns in Australia.

I quickly dispatched the contact without much conscious thought.


The Next Thing Was Amazing

What happened next was pretty damn amazing and I’ve spoken on various areas in the past.

My wife Pamela Allen happened!

And she’s amazing!

The first connection actually occurred via Facebook and was reasonably innocent.

That was probably the first difference.

Just a single ‘out of the blue’ Facebook question about a group I was in.

Which I helped answer the best I could.

Then another question prompted me to pay a bit more attention to this new person.

Wow, “she’s gorgeous”, was my first and recurring thought.

At this point, I also noticed she lived in Cape Town, South Africa – now that’s a long-distance plane flight. Be that as it may, this is just an innocent typed message for some assistance.

I think the difference here was I was just rolling with the punches, going with the flow to see where things went. At the very least, she would be a great pen pal and a very interesting person to chat to.

Well, that didn’t last long.

Within days, we were messaging each other on Facebook every few hours and the frequency started picking up as well.


It Really Is A Mental Thing

When you’re in a space of thinking of where that other person physically is, that’s your first mental block.

You’ll likely see an insurmountable wall of the distance between you and your potential soulmate. ‘Would it be easier to find someone else?’.

That basically depends on whether you think it’s worthwhile in discovering new potential, a different and interesting culture, expand your thinking as well as move outside your comfort zone.


The Long Distance Easy Bits

Without question, communication in this Internet Age is simple and easy.

Even using a dial-up modem can get high-quality voice calls using things like Skype or MSN Messenger.

If you’ve got broadband availability, then your faraway romance just got better.

Video Skype is just like being there, without touching.

You can talk for hours at zero cost – and believe me, she and I did just that.


What Are Some Long Distance Challenges?

Well, the big one for me was physical touch.

The absense of a real hug or holding someone’s hand really was quite foreign for me.

Again, getting past this point is certainly another one of those mental processes.

There are other physical challenges obviously and you can certainly get around those with some imagination.

Something new to try.


And There are Some Interesting Gifts

Interestingly enough, one of the gifts is also the biggest challenge.

Without the complication of physical contact, getting to know the other person takes on a whole new meaning.

You’ll find conversation becomes a thirst. A deeper understanding of the other person takes place much faster than a local romance.

I found the whole situation really amazing as well as unusual.

far happier times in our relationship together

Long Distance Relationships Can Work – And Some Don’t


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Can Long Distance Relationships Work For You? 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.