Can you be a relationship swinger

So What Is Swinging?

Swinging: a word used to describe exploring sexual activity with people other than your spouse or partner.

It’s usually with the consent of your partner, and in fact also usually WITH your partner.

It might include threesomes with another man or woman, but most often ‘swinging’ refers to ‘playing’ (swapping partners) with another couple.

swinging can be very natural
Don’t judge swinging until your read this


Is Swinging Controversial To You?

Well maybe you already knew all this.

But the question is – what thoughts come to YOUR mind when you hear the word ‘swinging’? And what are your thoughts around the idea of trying swinging in your own relationship?

Whatever your reaction, your thoughts probably come down to one thing:

“What effect would swinging have on my relationship?”

Most people who aren’t into swinging would probably assume it to be harmful, but here’s the interesting thing: most swingers themselves say that is actually benefits their relationship, creating greater intimacy and love between them.

The key to understanding this – and to realizing that swinging can be good for your relationship – is to think about what ‘successful’ swinging actually is and isn’t.

These are the common elements I have found from observing swinging couples:


Maintain High Values

Swingers have their relationship as the highest priority in their lives.

These couples realize that there is nothing that has a greater impact on the quality of their life than the quality of their relationship. So they put a lot of effort into it.

They share common values and interests.

They spend a lot of time together and have a genuine concern to see that the needs of the other are met.


Sharing New Experiences

Swinging is about sharing new experiences together as a couple. Relationships are no different to any other aspect of our lives – if we don’t do anything new things are going to go stale.

For these couples expressing and enjoying their sexuality is highly important.

Enjoying new and exciting sexual experiences together is an important way to keep their relationship growing.


Explore and Trust

Swingers have an unusually high degree of communication and trust in their relationship.

To be able to allow your partner to fully express themselves sexually takes a very high degree of trust. You have to know that your relationship is rock solid and that your partner would never see anyone else as more special than you.

There is nothing more wonderful than when a relationship gets to the stage that your greatest wish and joy is to allow your partner to explore whatever they want on their life journey of self discovery. We’re all sexual beings, and most/all of us have fantasies.

What greater role is there in a relationship than for it to be a place where we can grow to our own full potential with safety, love and support.


Sharing The Spice

Swinging is all about your relationship, not other people. It’s really about sharing new sexual experiences as a couple (things that require more than just the two of you).

Successful swinging is never about ‘filling in the gaps’ in your relationship.

Really happy swingers already have great sex lives; the swinging just adds spice.


Caveats To Swinging

So done right, swinging really can add tremendously to your relationship.

But my advice is don’t even think about it until you agree to put your relationship first and focus on creating deep communication with your spouse or partner.

Can you talk to them about anything without fear of them being upset or disapproving?

If you can, you might just find swinging could be a wonderful enhancement. If you can’t, then whether you want to try swinging or not, your relationship is not what it could be.


Have Your Say

What’s the one thing you think of when someone suggests ‘swinging’ to you and why?

Can Swinging Help Your Relationship? 1

Michael Andrews is a relationships coach and author who specializes in sexuality issues for couples.

GuestAccount – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

10 thoughts on “Can Swinging Help Your Relationship?”
  1. Completely agree with other comments so far. Sharing the most intimate thing you can do with your special someone, above all others I think really impacts on a relationship.

    The sinister aspect further is that it is in the presence of, and condoned by your partner. Slippery slope. Where does it stop?

    In saying that, if my wife and her gaggle of friends get me drunk one night…..

    1. Hey thanks for the visit and comment, old friend. Good to see you here.

      And … You always come back to male fantasy #1 :) limme know when you're getting that drunk though hahaha

      1. Hi.. a bit late for a comment however I would like to know if u and your partner have recently had a 3sum is it right for ur partner to be chatting up the 3 person without u knowing about it.

        1. I didn’t write this article and threesomes aren’t for me.
          That said, if you and yours are openly doing it then all power to you if it’s a mutually rewarding experience. Your partner should not be chatting without your knowledge – that’s kind of sneaky. Would he like it if the roles were reversed? I doubt it.

  2. How can any normal person remotely think having sex with someone outside your relationship could improve anything?

    I thought about this and could only come to a conclusion that these people are really running away from problems within their marriage. Whether it's sexual frustration or even unable to have a deep and meaning talk, I'd feel this would drive one or both to suggest that fucking around might bring some zing into whatever it is that's ailing their lives.

    Good luck to those poor souls who think sucking another guys dick will bring stability to their current marriage. I ain't doing it! LOL

    1. Thanks for your unabashed comment, Amanda.
      What I'd like to see is some comments from those that have actually tried 'swinging' in their relationship and what became of it all. While I'm certainly not contemplating it in any way, it's sparked my curiosity in knowing more about a relationship subject I'd like more background information on.
      My recent post Why Is My Wife Always Pissed At Me?

  3. This is a very interesting topic, I only see swinging on adult sites. But its not for me, I believe in the sanctity of marriage.. Once you decided to marry someone, it means even with or without "swinging", you will both continue to make the relationship work no matter how hard it may seem. And even though it CAN bring "spice" to a couples neutral relationship, the end result will always be negative, because you might get use to it and will never built a long lasting relationship with your partner or spouse..

    1. Thanks for visiting and the comment.

      So far, the underlying tone is Swinging must be for a select few so it would be interesting to find a few of the 'few' and get their comments.

      I do agree, even though I've never experimented with Swinging, that in my opinion it would have to have a negative and long term impact on any partnership.

      I'm thankful to the guest post author for writing the piece and highlighting the topic.

  4. I wouldn't even consider swinging. Marriage is a covenant relationship.

    If a couple is going to invite others into the marriage bed, then they shouldn't bother being married.

    1. Hey Michelle,

      Thanks for stopping by and making a comment.

      To be honest, I found the guest post outside something I myself want to try however we're all for freedom of expression on the site and other readers might well find it adds something.

      For me, the entire idea of engaging in sexual relations outside my loving partnership unit suggest that's failed already. Swinging might delay the inevitable but will eventually break things and fail.

      Maybe I'm an old prude or maybe I've got more commonsense than I think I have. Anyway, it's a good conversation point to explore the pros and cons of swinging.

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