caught by surprise while cheating image

I recently read an article on CNN that suggested there is a link between a person’s income and whether they’re likely to cheat on their partner. Here’s a few excerpts to begin with:

Men who are completely economically dependent on their female partners are five times more likely to cheat than men in relationships with women who earned similar amounts, according to the study’s author, Christin Munsch, a sociology Ph.D. candidate at Cornell University.

The article wanders over various other facts and statistics and ends with this quote:

Munsch points out that in the overall study, very few couples surveyed had experienced cheating during the six-year period studied. Only an average of 3.8 percent of male partners and 1.4 percent of female partners cheated during that period.

You’ve got to be kidding me on that last point, right?

The article essentially victimizes men for being cheating bastards and the conclusion is that all this is based on less than 4% of the total study group. A long-winded analysis based on thin air – though statistics are just that, aren’t they?

You can use them in many ways to pull out incorrect and baseless conclusions.


What Is Cheating?

Check out my blog post ‘ Top Reasons Why Partners Cheat ‘ for a reference to cheating relationships.

I’m been a victim of a cheating partner in a past relationship. Let me tell you, saying that you forgive the other party is the easy part.

The truth is that forgiveness never really happens.

You want to forgive, you want the relationship to get fixed and you want things to be just like they were before. That’s why you forgive them. You say to yourself ‘It was a big mistake, I forgive you, and let’s move on since you’re remorseful.

In reality, how can you forget what’s happened?

How do you trust them again?

It’s happened once, for whatever reason and the possibility has to exist that something else in the future will cause the cheating to recur.

It’s as I there’s a ‘Cheating Gene’ inside some people if you ask me.


Cheating Gene

As I was writing that last line, I did a Google on ‘Cheating Gene’ – my goodness, there’s significant evidence to suggest that hormones and brain scans have indeed suggested a cheating gene could very well be a reality.

They talk about things such as the vasopressin receptor gene associated with pair-bonding behavior in humans.

Yippee, though I suggest opportunity and environmental circumstances factor into whether a male or female is likely to cheat.

And when I say ‘likely’, I mean that that person actually has thoughts at some point about cheating.

Which is where this ‘gene’ comes in. Some people would never ever even think that cheating is an option, in any way, shape or form.


Is It Cheating When…

Now that I have touched on the cheating gene, I got to thinking about circumstances in a relationship where some people may think that cheating could be acceptable.

Is It Sex Drive?

Now imagine a couple where the woman has a low sex drive or, perhaps, little interest in making love, itself.

The man, however, still has a very active interest in sex and making love. I pose the question, is it morally fair for the guy to suppress his desires and in so doing, living in what I would call an unhealthy relationship?

Now in this circumstance, would it be reasonable for the man to go out and have an affair?

Or even to enter into a purely sexual relationship with another partner, with his wife’s consent?

What are your thoughts regarding this situation?

Perhaps, another relationship situation could be where one party in a relationship might happen an illness that essentially prevents them from having sex.

Again, is it acceptable for the other party who still has a very healthy sexual appetite to no longer enjoy the sexual act or, at least, sexual release with another human being.

Now I know we are all capable of self-gratification. It’s also proven that this gives one a very different set of hormonal releases. By that I mean, sex with the human being actually releases a completely different set of endorphins and hormones than the subset released through masturbation.

These are interesting situations, aren’t they?

Personally, I wholeheartedly believe in the sanctity of both marriages as well as human pair bonding.

Do you think cheating and infidelity can be put down to a human gene?

Cheating - I Think It's A Human Gene Or Is It? 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

8 thoughts on “Cheating – I Think It’s A Human Gene Or Is It?”
  1. if i am in a exclusive relationship or married I don’t think I could cheat. The guilt
    would eat me alive. HaHa. However, temptation can make you rethink your moral obligations and belief. The right person and circumstances could play with your mind. I am not sure I can completely go with the genes theory. In that case we
    are all in trouble. So if it is in our genes to be a killer than we should kill. Really?
    I have witness a family friend where her husband cheated on her time and time again but she hung in there. During the later years he got sick and she took care of him until he died. Now I don’t know if this was ddedication or what but I don’t think i could. Now if my partner/husband cheat on me honestly I just don’t think i could forgive period. i know it seems cold to some but i am being honest. I f i forgive him, my trust would be gone. So what is the point to forgive if your trust is gone? Time heals, right but my heart would break and little fragments would be missing always so my complete love for him would be gone. Could I operate on 95% of my love? Probably. But I take my vows and relationship seriously. I realize everyone may not agree with me and that’s fine. What works for one may not work for the other. Be happy for what will be you happy in a positive way with few regrets.

    1. Oh I just loved your honesty, Janis. Totally OK to express your opinion, no matter what it might be.
      Some will disagree and some will agree. Makes the world go around and adds spice to a conversation.
      It’s an interesting area the trust thing really and especially (or even only) when it comes cheating. I say that because when I think about it, if someone betrayed my trust in business and they displayed and put into place measures to rebuild their trust, then in my mind I’d really want to ‘get back on the horse’ and try again. I’d honestly forgive a previous mistake, move past it and reset the trust counter.

      Maybe it’s a mindset thing when it comes to an intimate mistake and maybe it’s food for thought? (Not counting serial cheating who can go fuck themselves)

      1. It’s the trust in love for me. Business i probably maybe. Then maybe it is I who
        can’t kick childhood that seem to follow.Look no one is perfect. I still have a lot to learn especially about Trust. But for now Trust is love I don’t have at this time so
        I may be the one who come out on the losing end. But who knows, miracles still happens.

  2. Cheating is a social issue. It greatly affects the person involved.Partners should discuss this issue and decide for a better resolution.

    1. Probably the worst, if you ask me. You can always consider pre-emptive action though.

      Check out my article 'The Best Ways To Screw Up A Relationship' though, as I'm sure that will make a little more sense as to possible causes and remedies. Like in business, you look for ways to improve profitability, you can use similar techniques to prevent relationship 'slippage'.

  3. I've never cheated in my life but there really must be something wrong in a person's head if they could do this to their partner, if you ask me.

    The situations you're talking are a little difficult to really comment on, since I've never been in any sort of similar situation. To truly walk the right path though, I'd assume it could work if and there was consent from the partner. It'd really be a strange question to ask someone you've loved for so long though.

    I'd certainly like to hear other people's views since we're all likely to reach the possibility some stage.

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