Ever Wondered What’s Going Through Their Minds?

First dates are always nerve wracking.


  • What do you wear?
  • Where do you go?
  • What topic of conversation should we talk about?
  • What if there’s no chemistry?
  • What if we don’t get along?
  • Who should pay for the dinner or drinks?

The first thing to do is calm down.

Everyone is nervous and anxious on a first date, and everyone wants the first date to go well.



For the first date, pick a public location such as a coffee shop or a place that serves drinks or desserts.

This serves a two-fold purpose.

It’s a public place where you can both feel safe, and it’s a short date.

If you don’t feel comfortable staying after the first drink and some polite conversation, you’re free to excuse yourself.



Take the time to dress nicely.

You don’t need to wear an evening gown or a three-piece suit, but you need to take the time to dress well.

This could mean a new pair of jeans or trousers and a button down shirt for guys.

For women, it could mean a nice blouse and a good pair of jeans.

You just want to look clean and presentable.


Who Pays?

who is paying the tab

Who is paying is always going through your mind, on a date

A date should never involve “Going Dutch.”

Friends pay for themselves.

This means that the man pays, or the person asking pays.

The same can be said for coupons and discounts.

While frugality is great for married couples and long term partners, it has no place on a first date.

The last thing you want to do is come off cheap.



The days of chivalry may be long past, but that doesn’t mean women don’t appreciate it.

Go ahead and open the door for her, pull out her chair and compliment her on her appearance.

Doing these things will help set you both at ease, and it will show that you are a true gentleman.

the benefits of chivalry might surprise you

The benefits of chivalry might surprise you



Take the time to think of conversation topics beforehand.

In the digital age, this is as simple as looking up their online profile and reading.

Find out your date’s interests and talk about those topics, but don’t forget to talk about yourself.



Everyone hopes for a connection when they go on a date, but sometimes there’s no chemistry and no connection.

If that’s the case, be polite, drink your drink and end the date on a neutral note.



It is completely unacceptable to argue on the first date.

Even if you don’t agree with your date’s opinions and statements, don’t start an argument.

Instead, politely change the topic to something that is less likely to provoke an emotional response.

A little difference of opinion however can be seen as chemistry, so even if you do not have exactly the same world view it does not mean all is lost.

Just make sure it is not about something that in the long term could become difficult and that you have both taken the banter in good humour and spirit.


Ending The Date

Ending a date can be just as awkward as starting it, but you can ease the transition by watching for cues from your date.

If the date went well, go ahead and instigate a light kiss or hug.

Ask if she’d like to see you again and schedule the next date.

If there was no real chemistry or connection then remain polite, simply thank your date for the company and drinks or dessert and go on your way.

Another friend is not a loss even if things did not turn out how you might have expected them to.


Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it this far so here’s what you can do next:

  • So what’s your opinion on ‘Who Pays’?
  • Do you think chivalry is really dead and buried?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then read this article too.

And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

First Dates - What Guys and Gals Are Thinking? 1

Sarah currently works for Lovestruck and completely understands the nerves that people get when they experience first dates. It can be scary and intimidating but with a positive attitude, you might form a special bond.

Sarah – who has written posts on GeekandJock.