sexual female freedom

Good Girl, Bad Boy

What is it about a society that tells us only a good girl and a bad boy will ever get dates?

I know that those of you out of the dating game will have a hard time remembering those tumultuous years with anything but a wince, but people still out in the dating pool live through this every day.

the dating pool
The dating pool – will you sink or swim?

The ups and downs of dating, trying to be in the right place at the right time, and trying to figure out what is going on in the other person’s mind all lead up to a very stressful experience.


Yeah, What About The Girls?

A lot has been said about good guys and friend-zoning, but what about the girls?

Where is this good/bad girl dynamic leading as a culture?

According to media influences, in order for a woman to become a wife, she should be sexy but not sexual. She should know all the tricks in bed but be a virgin. She should show off her ‘assets’ but never let any guy too close.

She should be, in essence, a tease.


Then Christianity Comes In

Now, compound this with Christianity.

What happens if you are a young Christian person and you are trying to date? Well, you get the whole no sex before marriage thing, but what does that mean?

  • How far does that go?
  • Does that mean no kissing?
  • No touching?
  • Or just not going all the way?


The Guy’s Role

The guy’s role is clear. He should be in charge all the time.

He should always know what he’s doing and never be lost. He should be the instigator in everything. He should also be looking for a good girl who is a Christian and has never been with a guy.

The girl’s role is a little murkier.

She should never take the initiative. She should look nice, but not show anything. She should always be quiet and demure and never let a guy know she’s attracted to him.

sexual she devil
Shouldn’t a woman also be allowed to express herself?

She shouldn’t have any sexual urges.

She should control any sexual urges her boyfriend may have.

It is her responsibility to make sure they remain pure.


What the heck?

Combine all that with everything the world is throwing at them and you have a conundrum of epic proportions.

Let’s not forget, too, that different personalities come into play.

Some guys don’t want to lead all the time.

Some girls have a higher sex drive.

Does that make them bad people?

Is it reasonable to think that only good girls and bad boys have a chance at love, romance, and relationships?

Of course not!

Personally, I know many couples, happy couples, who turn these stereotypes on their heads. What we have to remember is that people are all different. Being flexible in your thinking can only help and not hinder.

Once you force a person to fit in certain roles – that is when you have issues.



Changing the way the world thinks won’t happen, but changing the way you think can.

If you are in the dating pool, or even if you are not, keep in mind that people are just people.

No one fits every check box in a list. What matters is finding someone who complements you: the yin to your yang, the black to your white.

Whichever way you put it, finding your perfect match is less about becoming what you should be and more about being honest with who you are.


Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:

  • What’s your favorite gender stereotype?
  • Do you honestly believe in true yin and yang?
  • Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then read this article too.

And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Good Girl, Bad Boy - Does It Make Sense? 1

Allison Foster writes on behalf of nanny classifieds. It provides a great solution to the needs of both nannies and working parents for finding anything on the internet.

Allison – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

13 thoughts on “Good Girl, Bad Boy – Does It Make Sense?”
  1. I have always believed everyone should be fair. It doesn’t necessarily mean that a good girl is really good. Makes sense?

    1. Umm, not really sure what you mean, Arianne.
      Are you saying that a supposed good girl shouldn’t follow the mask given to her be society but just be true to herself?

  2. I think it’s a double standard. Women crave for the bad boy but boys look for the good girl who’s willing to be bad for them. Kinky I know! But hey, that’s the world we live in today.

    1. Hmmm, interesting analogy, Vianney and thank you for the comment too.
      It’s probably not as kinky as you might think. It’s more likely just being a little primal in the comfort of a safe and secure relationship.
      What do you think?

  3. We live in an a highly stereotyped community, and getting rid of certain stabdard thinking modes can be not that easy (as I know it from my own experience).
    Yet, understanding of the fact that all people are different and we should be ourrselves in all kinds of situations instead of playing the dating games is key to hapiness and inner harmony.

    1. Thank you, David, for your thoughts and welcome so much in joining the conversation.
      I’d like to think we should start with a mindset of happiness and inner harmony and go from there. If we all kept that in mind, maybe the world and this entire ‘dating fiasco’ might roll a little smoother :)

      1. How would you feel, Allison, if I said that being ourselves is the best way to find the right love? By that I mean, if you’re dishonest about who you are and pretend to someone that you are not, then whatever love you do find will be sort of out of alignment and probably a false love.

  4. Hi Allison,

    I like what you write towards the end of the post – “Changing the way the world thinks won’t happen, but changing the way you think can.” I believe that is the first step to anything and everything – changing the way you think. It has the power to transform your life and change your world.

    Good girl, bad boy, good boy, and bad girls.. all get their dates. Everybody has the right to have their views, even the Christians. At the same time, I feel it’s incorrect to have gender stereotypes. And there’s more to relationship and love than sex.

    Thanks for the post, it was interesting. :)

    1. As always, Harleena, you bring great value to the conversations here.
      Totally agree the world needs to move away from gender stereotypes – as it turns out, the majority of people live with and harbor discrimination against others.
      My personal view is love and sex hold differing levels of value, depending on the gender … which is fine because that’s just the way it is. Discovering those levels, accepting and working with them are all part and parcel of making a relationship special and to make it work, in your life.

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