Unhealthy Relationships or No Love Life?
Fact: Single parents come with their children … Deal With It!
Single parenting is notoriously hard on relationships, leading many single parents to have unhealthy relationships or no love life at all. This is not necessary.
It is possible to have a healthy romantic relationship and be a single parent at the same time.
Single parents may be fraught with worry over whether dating is what is best for their children or over whether their potential significant other can handle being with a single parent.
It is always good for children to see their parents leading happy lives and whether a significant other can handle dating a single parent is a question only time can answer. The time has to be given first.
Healthy Relationship Is Compromise
The biggest step to being a single parent in a healthy relationship is compromising, by both parties.
Sometimes, it is not going to be possible for a single parent to go out on a Saturday night. Both the parent and the date have to compromise and spend their time together when it is available without too much regret over the lack of more typical dates.
Single parents come with their children, so this should be understood from the outset.
Communication about the topic will avoid future resentment and help prevent unhealthy relationships, as single parents will avoid dating those who do not really understand what dating a single parent entails.
Will Kids Be a Problem?
It is certain that children have to take precedence over a romantic life.
Nonetheless, single parents sometimes have to take a break and let loose for their romantic relationships to thrive.
This is even true for married couples with children. Taking a break every now and then will not undermine anyone’s parenting and it will keep both members of the relationship happy.
The Challenge of Finding Someone
There is often a picture painted of couples made up of two single parents. This is not always necessary for an understanding, healthy relationship. As with any relationship, the primary objective is to find someone who is compatible. There is no prerequisite that the person must also have children.
There is, of course, the added challenge of finding someone who is also compatible with the children, provided the children are not just being stubborn about a new mate.
Kids and New Romance
It might be uncomfortable for single parents to introduce new romantic interests to their children.
This may take some time and parents might wait until they have been dating for a while first.
This is okay.
Developing a good foundation for a relationship before involving the children will make both partners feel less pressured, thus providing a level of ease that every healthy relationship should have.
It is important that both parties are comfortable with the step before it is taken.
But a Fun Time Is So Important
Once single parents have introduced their children to the objects of their affection, opportunities to spend time together grow exponentially.
Enjoy having an adult to spend time with again, but learn to incorporate romance into parenting time.
It can be very cathartic and good for a relationship to do day-to-day things together.
Therefore, single parents should not exclude their partners in the mistaken belief that it is somehow less healthy or romantic to share all aspects of single parenting with their partners.
Importantly, Be Resourceful
Single parenting while having a healthy relationship is, in the end, simply a practice in resourcefulness.
Finding and using all of the tools available to have a fulfilling relationship while being epically busy is key. Keep in touch via phone. Meet up for lunch while the kids are at school or daycare.
Have romantic dinners at home while the kids are sleeping.
All of these things make it possible to be a good parent and a good partner.
All single parents and their significant others need is a little bit of motivation and they can have healthy relationships that are just as good, if not better, than relationships that do not involve children.
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