Unhealthy Relationships or No Love Life?
Fact: Single parents come with their children … Deal With It!
Single parenting is notoriously hard on relationships, leading many single parents to have unhealthy relationships or no love life at all. This is not necessary.
It is possible to have a healthy romantic relationship and be a single parent at the same time.
Single parents may be fraught with worry over whether dating is what is best for their children or over whether their potential significant other can handle being with a single parent.
It is always good for children to see their parents leading happy lives and whether a significant other can handle dating a single parent is a question only time can answer. The time has to be given first.
Healthy Relationship Is Compromise
The biggest step to being a single parent in a healthy relationship is compromising, by both parties.
Sometimes, it is not going to be possible for a single parent to go out on a Saturday night. Both the parent and the date have to compromise and spend their time together when it is available without too much regret over the lack of more typical dates.
Single parents come with their children, so this should be understood from the outset.
Communication about the topic will avoid future resentment and help prevent unhealthy relationships, as single parents will avoid dating those who do not really understand what dating a single parent entails.
Will Kids Be a Problem?
It is certain that children have to take precedence over a romantic life.
Nonetheless, single parents sometimes have to take a break and let loose for their romantic relationships to thrive.
This is even true for married couples with children. Taking a break every now and then will not undermine anyone’s parenting and it will keep both members of the relationship happy.
The Challenge of Finding Someone
There is often a picture painted of couples made up of two single parents. This is not always necessary for an understanding, healthy relationship. As with any relationship, the primary objective is to find someone who is compatible. There is no prerequisite that the person must also have children.
There is, of course, the added challenge of finding someone who is also compatible with the children, provided the children are not just being stubborn about a new mate.
Kids and New Romance
It might be uncomfortable for single parents to introduce new romantic interests to their children.
This may take some time and parents might wait until they have been dating for a while first.
This is okay.
Developing a good foundation for a relationship before involving the children will make both partners feel less pressured, thus providing a level of ease that every healthy relationship should have.
It is important that both parties are comfortable with the step before it is taken.
But a Fun Time Is So Important
Once single parents have introduced their children to the objects of their affection, opportunities to spend time together grow exponentially.
Enjoy having an adult to spend time with again, but learn to incorporate romance into parenting time.
It can be very cathartic and good for a relationship to do day-to-day things together.
Therefore, single parents should not exclude their partners in the mistaken belief that it is somehow less healthy or romantic to share all aspects of single parenting with their partners.
Importantly, Be Resourceful
Single parenting while having a healthy relationship is, in the end, simply a practice in resourcefulness.
Finding and using all of the tools available to have a fulfilling relationship while being epically busy is key. Keep in touch via phone. Meet up for lunch while the kids are at school or daycare.
Have romantic dinners at home while the kids are sleeping.
All of these things make it possible to be a good parent and a good partner.
All single parents and their significant others need is a little bit of motivation and they can have healthy relationships that are just as good, if not better, than relationships that do not involve children.
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10 thoughts on “How To Have a Healthy Romantic Relationship as a Single Parent”
kids cant be a problem but the both members have to understand each other than only they can think about anything furthur
If there comes a time that I have to try dating people for my kids then I will give it a try. My kids’ opinion is the important thing to me so if they want me to look for a husband then it is fine with me.
Thanks for stopping by, Sophie. Dating with kids can certainly be a challenging experience. Remember though that they won’t always be around and your own happiness is just as important as theirs so maybe some balance and explaination might be in order to better let them know what’s going on in your head and reasons why dating is also an important factor … as is theirs.
Umm Sophie, I think if you’re going to go out and find a husband or even date because your kids want you to, then I really think you’re doing wrong.
Sure children are important but it sounds more like they are dominating your life. Who’s the adult here? You should date when YOU are ready, not when your kids say you are.
i agree to you Bella if the life is our then no one other can take our decisions .. because life is just called the happiness u enjoyed in your younger age when you are able to date …
I think, Every one has peak of life for everything whether its romance or taking care of their children… and beside that i might give a reward to a women for her loyalty with their children as women are always keen to care their children and even though they can be in control than a man :)
Thanks for your visit and thoughts, merry.
Are you suggesting that only women show loyalty to children when they’re single though? Maybe it’s a cultural thing for you but I’d be interested in your opinion on a male single parent with children – isn’t something that happens where you’re from?
Well excuse me – is it just me or are you sounding like some kind of male chauvinist?
You do know we’re in the modern days now and that women have equality, right?
Sheesh, it burns me up to still think some men think like you do.
Yeah, I know when I needed to get back on the dating cycle, it was a particularly tough time.
My problem was with my teenage son though. I eventually got out of him that he was really resistant with me dating women because of some subconscious thought that any new lady that I might want to date (long term) would be replacing his birth mother.
Obviously, that was the furtherest from the truth and I went into a long long conversation that I was dating again to make ME happy and I would always make sure HE was happy as well.
It can be tough especially with kids because they think all sorts of weird stuff about introducing a new partner into their lives. Make sure you are upfront with everything.
Great tips and a nice post – thanks
Encouraging words, Gary.
Thank you. I’m going through much the same as you did except I’ve got an added burden – a daughter LOL
From what you say, I need to be more direct with her and spell it out. I love her dearly. I also need some serious man action or I’m gonna burst LOL
Agree – some lovely advice