you can survive and revive after infidelity and cheating

Healing from the Pain of Infidelity as a Couple

The person cheats for other reasons that has nothing to do with the love they have for their partner

When someone commits infidelity it doesn’t always mean they want to end their marriage.

It doesn’t quite make a lot of sense, but it’s true.

Many times, the person cheats for other reasons that have nothing to do with the love they have for their partner.

The problem is that the consequences of their cheating devastate their marriage.

It tears down the house of marriage the couple has built right down to the foundation.

This leaves the couple to rebuild the marriage from the foundation.


How to Rebuild Marriage After Infidelity

The good news is that if there was a solid foundation to start with, rebuilding a marriage after infidelity is possible with time and proper healing from both in the relationship.


Support Each Other

The one thing that couples who have been going through infidelity recovery must keep in mind is that it’s not a process to go through alone, while it may feel that way, at times.

Each partner must work through their individual feelings of pain, anger, and sadness but with the support and encouragement of their spouse through the entire process.

This can be difficult because each spouse has feelings that are quite the opposite of the other spouse.

For example, the spouse who has been betrayed will have a difficult time giving support to a guilty partner who cheated when he talks about all of the remorse he feels for committing the adultery.

The spouse who feels betrayed will have a hard time receiving comfort from the person who she trusted the most in the world but hurt her the most.



The secret is to know when to give what you can and back off when you can’t.

It’s also important to be able to communicate this information in a way that doesn’t hurt your spouse and delivers an understanding that you wish you could do more but you simply cannot.


Rebuild the Emotional Connection

This is the beginning of rebuilding the emotional connection in your marriage.

emotional connection
Rebuild the connection and move forward

You are beginning to learn that there are some situations in which you can be there for your spouse and there are others that you wish you can be there for her but you simply cannot.

You are learning to be able to communicate this, take a step back, take care of your feelings, so you can come back in and then be able to take care of her again.

As you move through the process of infidelity recovery as a couple, the storms will become fewer and far between.

The triggers will become less tumultuous, and they won’t bother you as much as before.


Your New Healthy Relationship

From the pain, conversations, and process you’ve had through infidelity recovery, you’ll notice your marriage will feel stronger.

You’ll have an appreciation for your marriage you never had before and you’ll love your spouse more than ever because you’ve had a chance to examine every facet of your relationship and iron out the kinks.

You’ve had a chance to learn about one another in greater detail than you ever have before.

This is what a healthy and strong relationship is all about and now you have a marriage you can be proud of because it survived the great storm of infidelity.

Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion

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  • What’s one thing you’d do after you found your partner had cheated??
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And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Healing from the Pain of Infidelity 1

Marcelina Hardy, MSEd is a relationship coach specializing in infidelity recovery.

GuestAccount – who has written posts on GeekandJock.

4 thoughts on “Healing from the Pain of Infidelity”
  1. Hello,
    Commit Time For Each Other.

    Lastly, you are going to want to commit time with each other. It is imperative to commit time to each other and really give each other full and undivided attention. This will assure each person in the relationship that the other person is committed to making it work and to reestablishing a great relationship.

  2. Hello!

    I appreciate everyone's comments. I just wanted to leave a comment to say that I don't blame anyone for believing differently from me because if you had asked me five years ago, I would have responded exactly the same way. The truth is I would have never thought anyone could have recovered from infidelity – not in a million years. So yes, I would have spoke the words you speak and I would have thought the thoughts you think. Life sure does throw you a curve ball sometimes and teaches you a lesson about love, pain and strength.

    Anyway, one of the many lessons I learned from all of this – you really have no idea what you'll do in a situation until you are in that exact situation.

  3. Firstly, I'd like to thank Marcelina for her guest post. I'm always grateful for the writings and thoughts of others and the differing opinions that are not my own.

    Personally, while I think some marriages can get through the pain and betrayal of adultery and infidelity, my thoughts come back to the almost impossibility of regaining the sacred trust that has been destroyed by the affair.

    I've written a few articles on cheating and why I felt it can happen in the first place. While there might be 'reasons' for it, it's also a mission of both partners to maintain communication. Once that devastating act of adultery actually takes place, it's as if a knife has severed the spinal cord of the marriage.

    I'm sure there's therapy for broken marriages that endevour to floss over the trust issue. I'm uncertain whether that trust can ever really be recovered. 

    I'd love to hear of other people who have other opinions on this though.

    1. I read this guest post and I'm literally stunned.

      If my boyfriend decided to have an affair, I'd kick his arse so hard out the door and not look back. There is no way in hell I'd contemplate any sort of reconciliation. Fuck him!

      No way on Earth I'd ever trust him again and there's no way he'd be sticking me with his dirty tool after he's dipped it where he shouldn't. Thinking you could ever cure that sort of sickness with therapy is plain stupid.

      Interesting post but totally wrong as far as I'm concerned. I mentioned it over drinks to a few girlfriends too. Same opinion – toss the cheating bastard out on the street and let him shack up with his little sex nymph!

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