I watched a movie about Ram Dass yesterday and was jolted back into reality by a simple and innocuous scene where a young fellow gave a 70 year old wheel-chaired Ram Dass a hug.

Guys can learn a lot from females when it comes to human connection

On the surface of that statement, I can well imagine your thoughts as ‘Well, so what. It’s just a hug. Everybody does that’.

What struck so profoundly was just how connected those two people were at the time.

And, indeed, how connected I was, just viewing the act itself.

I began to ponder exactly why my thoughts were drawn to that hug and how it related to me.


Connect Better Though Touch

Funnily enough, as a man, the hugging act is really a seldom used method of connection.

Yeah, I understand we might hug our partners.

Do men regularly hug a new business associate?

In fact, most times we meet another man, we hold out our hand to enter into a handshake.

Think on that for a second.

A handshake.

Grab another person’s hand and hold them at a distance away from you and where your heart is.

Jeez, this borders really on being adversarial, if you ask me.

How is that remotely connecting with another human being?

Isn’t a handshake meant to be greeting a new connection, a new person into your life?



Women have the secret

This is where us guys can learn a lot from females when it comes to human connection.

The feminine side coverts connection and this may well hark back to primitive times when women tended to the family unit with other women in very close contact.

They were all about communication, family and looking after relationships with the other women.

The men were off hunting and showing superiority and who’s the strongest – man stuff!

Though the real winner here when it comes to connection are women and men need to take heed and roll this quality into our life fabric.

How do you feel when you hug?

i love hugs. do you?

i love hugs. do you?


I’ve been hugging other guys ever since I joined XL Results Foundation, 6 years ago.

However, it’s usually only with other XL Life Members and that’s simply due to them understanding the connection.

Even the day when I met another male XL Life Member, he immediately shot out his hand for a greeting until I went in for the hug and he instantly remembered and said “Oh yeah, I forgot there we’re in XL” – talk about society and habitual brainwashing.

Handshake or Hug?

Which one do you prefer?

Hugs or Handshake - Connect Better 1

Enjoying newly found freedoms in South-East Asia, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
Drop me a message and let’s start there, OK?

Martin Cooney – who has written posts on GeekandJock.