Marriage Isn’t Always Sacred, Is It?
Marriage is a sacred union that involves two people.
Although there are various beliefs and religions behind every marriage around the world, commitment and loyalty are included in each one.
For this reason, when either one of the partners becomes unfaithful, it can lead to devastating effects on the marriage, causing mistrust which will eventually lead to separation.
According to statistics, around 50% of married couples end up getting divorced, and much more deal with the devastating aftermath of marital infidelity.
The signs of extramarital affairs are not always as obvious as finding lipstick stains on your spouse’s shirt or smelling another woman’s perfume; however, if you are willing to look closely, you will be able to recognize some red flags.
So how can to tell whether you are simply being a paranoid wife, or if your husband is actually having an affair?
Signs That Your Husband Is Cheating On You
If you suspect that your husband is having an affair, you might want to consider some of these signs of infidelity.
You must remember though, that even if your husband exhibits any of these signs, it might not necessarily mean that he is having an affair.
The truth is, there is no way to know for sure whether a person is cheating; but whatever the case, these signs are still not good for your marriage.
Emotionally And Physically Distant
The number-one sign of infidelity is if your husband has become emotionally distant or he has no physical desire towards you.
If this is an abrupt or sudden behavior, it could mean that your husband is having a physical or emotional affair with another person. This is because any person will find it tough to be emotionally invested in two individuals at the same time.
In addition, an individual will also find it hard to become physically or emotionally intimate with his or her partner while betraying his or her trust.
If your husband starts to avoid being alone with you or doesn’t invest some effort and time to have one-on-one time with you, it might be because he is growing closer to another person.
He could be distancing himself from you so that he can invest his feelings in another person without feeling guilty.
Deception And Unaccountability
Another possible sign that he is cheating on you is when he keeps covering up where he goes.
Your husband might lie about what he is doing, where he is, or who he spends time with.
Lying about going to “client dinners”, or late business meetings, or going on a business trip is a red flag that must not be ignored.
Another sign you need to watch out for is if his mobile phone is turned off during the times you usually can contact him. If your husband is frequently out of reach, it may be because he is with someone else.
Deception and covering up his affair can lead to feelings of betrayal and mistrust.
The signs mentioned previously are all very negative and emotionally draining; however, there are also signs that are less obvious.
For instance, your husband may suddenly become really sweet with you, such as giving you gifts for no apparent reason, constantly complimenting you, or helping around the house more.
These signs may not mean that he has become a sweet husband. It may actually be an indication of guilty behavior.
When a husband feels guilty, he may grow to be strangely affectionate as a way to mask his extramarital affair or relieve his guilty conscience.
The Signs Are There But What Can You Do?
The signs are manifesting as clear as day, but what can you do?
You might feel hurt, angry, and betrayed, but you are unsure of how you must proceed.
Almost every woman’s impulse is to confront their husband about it; however, this is not a wise thing to do.
You must avoid making accusations without having any concrete evidence.
For one, you must have tangible evidence of infidelities, such as a picture, a text, or an email.
It is vital to have proof since without one, you might end up looking like a distrusting and paranoid wife.
In addition, you must also be prepared for your husband’s reaction. He may get defensive and angry, but if you have proof, you must stand your ground and be firm.
If you do not have any proof that your husband is cheating, even when he is exhibiting any of the signs mentioned above, it is still advisable to take action.
You have to talk to your partner about your marriage problems and what it is doing to you. You and your husband can consider marriage counseling to help you save your marriage.
The signs may not be a sure way to determine infidelity, but experiencing them in your marriage is still not a good indication.
Speak Your Mind, With Your Opinion
Nice to see you made it to the end of the post. Here’s what you can do next:
- Do you think you can cope with a cheating husband?
- What’s one thing to stop cheating in the first place?
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And thanks for reading too – Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
9 thoughts on “Is Your Husband Cheating on You?- What You Can Do About It”
Sometimes there are people that even if the signs are right in front of their eyes, they try to deny it and think of other ideas that will divert their thoughts from it. They do it sometimes for the sake of their children. But this doesn’t always have to be the right thing to do, there are always better actions that may be taken. I think it’s necessary to take actions when you’re already tarting to notice these signs. And I agree with you that you have to have proof, and even if you don’t have enough evidence, still you have to make take some actions.
Interesting you mention that, Arianne. There really is a ‘disorder’ called Cognitive Dissonance which is blocking out what makes sense and is in front of your nose because it might be too painful to accept. Happens quite a bt in relationships and ranks high in a couple’s frustrations because one can’t make the other see ‘the light’.
Ever heard of it or can you see that sort of behavior now that I mention it?
My eyes dilated upon reading the title. It’s kind of hard and painful, and just the thought of it is hard itself. Thanks for sharing! I’ll surely take those points that you gave. I believe that we should not be afraid to face the truth when it’s there. We should do something about it, definitely!
Well, it is actually very challenging to face, Vianney. I had to do it in my first marriage and while you’d like to forgive and forget, there isn’t EVER any real forgetting, never!
That said, I think there’s also fault on both sides on why it happens in the first place. While one might cheat, there’s fault on the other side to cause it in the first place. Not 100% of the time but I think there’s room for thinking what you’re doing may cause the other the stray.
Thoughts on that?
I knew within 2 weeks that my husband was having an affair and I confronted him right away – of course, they want you to believe that you are totally crazy but in reality always trust your iintuition – it will not lead you astray – especially if you are a confident woman in the first place.
I had written a blog post on clues to watch for if your husband was having an affair and one thing was that the cell phone was on silent even in your presence – it was also always face down. Another clue he use to take his phone everywhere even in the bathroom. Another clue is that all of a sudden he wanted ALONE time. Never wanted that before.
I keep up with you guys still,
Wonderful to see you back here, Nancy.
I think the post applies equally to men as well as women too.
That said, I have always kept my phone on silent because I hate the thing interrupting me and I periodically check it and call back, at my own convenience. I don’t have it face down though.
Good you got outta there too and started your life’s journey. Come back again as I’m sure there’s a few big announcements about to happen. Can’t say anymore just yet though.
And what’s going on with MakeGirlfriends too? Popped over there recently and it’s very quiet, to say the least.
Right on spot! Such a dead give away…and DO trust your guts! Mine thought he could not be caught. Actually told the other woman he couldn’t be caught. He left an incriminating email UP IN PLAIN SIGHT…and I happened to look that way. What a day that was. To this day he doesn’t know I know anything. He is watched in many ways…better than prisoners in jail! He doesn’t know.
No matter what you do that’s wrong, you will always be discovered, eventually.
I presume you left him but it sounds like you might not have, Susan.
How do you know what he told the ‘other woman’?
It’s still a disappointing event in anyone’s life.
Unfortunately karma doesn’t usually turn around to link to the wrongdoing very quickly. No, I haven’t left him. Why? My reasoning (after months of sleepless nights) is why should I ruin my life, home, family d/t his stupidity? When & if this behavior repeats or ever ends our marriage (from my standpoint) it will be when I catch him red handed in the act (I have a plan for that event also). I will not tell anyone what’s happened to us. He will have the joy of explaining to children, friends, family, etc. what he’s done. How do I know? I credit severe lack of tech savvy. Following & forwarding extensive, detailed email conversations to myself. Then when she taught him to chat on Yahoo IM I hacked into that & printed the transcript of their conversations the pieced it all for a comprehensive story. This affair lasted almost 4 weeks Jan 2012 in my last semester of Graduate school…I was so focused on finishing. It was SO tempting to scream & air all my knowledge but I simply did not have the courage to cause major disruption any further distress in my life. So, my strategy was to kill him with kindness and attention. Be my absolute best person; I’ve continued to do this everyday. That particular woman is needy, unreasonably demanding, clingy, whining…all the things I am not and had long ago determined I would never be as a wife. I will say I learned a lot about her (and him) through her rants and did feel sorry for her situation. He never made a negative comment about me-actually told her he loved me many times. In fact, she asked him multiple times why he was “doing this” and got angry with him for talking about me. I blocked her in every way I could. I began computer, cell phone monitoring right away and continue to this day. I know he’s entertained other stunts through Craigs list. I suspect he’s flirting with disaster even now with his secretary. I get a secret joy of including comments that are “quotes” from the other women every chance I get. If he ever gets suspicious he will have to ask me…thereby essentially confessing what he’s done. Am I wrong for handling this in this fashion? Friends think I’m crazy I know. Maybe I’m lazy. I will not be the cause of my own grief. Then again, I often think why do I have to live this way & he’s living care & concern free?