You’re On My Heart Just Like A Tattoo
Can I ask you to first have a listen to Jordin Sparks – Tattoo song and just let it immerse you in the feeling, spirit, and love the song has.
It’ll only take 4 minutes from your life and I guarantee it will be an enjoyable and heartfelt 4 minutes too.
How did it make you feel?
From Failure To Relationship Success
What really is magical is the story for so many and a trip that many of us have yet to travel.
Relationships with others are one of life’s most interesting journeys.
We start with what we think is love, only to discover we’ve all got lessons to learn in relating to others and, more importantly, discovering our own failings and what we’ve got to learn to have a truly successful and loving relationship.
Your ‘ Love Eyes ‘ Are Wide Shut
You know, every relationship starts with both partners going in with their eyes wide shut. We think we know where it’s leading … rarely does it.
The real magic is in the unraveling.
Awakening a new spark within and, hopefully, giving from without.
Whether the relationship is successful or otherwise is irrelevant when we’re open to expanding our boundaries.
That other person will have made an indelible impression on your character, your behavior, and your next steps … your life’s direction. Even better if they’re going along for the ride with you but it’s OK if they’re not too.
You’re On A Roll-Coaster With A Safety Belt
Being immersed with another person will always have its ups and downs – roller-coasters can be fun as well as frightening.
If you have a mind to enjoy the ride for what it is, you’ll arrive at a point exhilarated and panting for more.
Putting up self-made roadblocks such as dishonesty, mistrust, jealousy, and transparency is simply wasting both your time. When you both know what’s going on (and I do mean totally and fully), wouldn’t you agree you’ll not only bypass significant conflict but you’ll just make life that much easier to get through?
Don’t waste time with bullshit – help them get maximum value from you.
Let them into your world.
Explain your thoughts.
Tell them what you’re thinking and why.
Be exposed to the only other person who has the power to hurt – the honest trust is in them protecting you.
Be Ok With Yourself And Move On
Everything we talk about here leads in the direction of maintaining a magical relationship with someone you completely love.
With that said, some relationships just aren’t meant to be. Remember your first love? Second. Third.
That’s the point, isn’t it?
Never think of previous relationships as roadkill. They’ve been placed in your path as an experience to gain insights, for when your ultimate soulmate does come along.
That’s got to be worth waiting for.
Over To You
Now that we’ve reached the bottom, here’s what you can do next:
- What was your feeling after listening to Tattoo?
- Do you think of your previous partners as roadkill or as a bump in the journey?
- What’s one thing you’re grateful for, from a previous ‘ex’?
- Click one of the Share buttons – your friends can then enjoy this article too.
And thanks for reading too – I’ll see you in the comments.
19 thoughts on “Love – I’ll Keep Coming Back For More”
“With that said, some relationships just aren’t meant to be. Remember your first love?” Aaaaaaw so true, Martin. Sad but true. I can totally relate to this topic and I’m proud to say that I’ve managed to succeed in achieving (most) of your tips.
Yeah Amanda – the first love, huh?
I like to look at first love as the stepping stone to find your true love. More so like a learning process so always feel grateful for your first and subsequent loves too. A journey really.
Now you have to tell me what tips you are yet to succeed in :) Spill the beans – there might be a post in it for me hahaha
Tips I’ve yet to succeed? Hmmm… Well there’s “Let them into your world” and “Explain your thoughts.” It’s indeed very ironic that I love writing about emotions and feelings, but I seldom open my own soul for my partner to really know my thoughts about him. There’s this woman in me that just really wants him to spell me out, which could be annoying for a guy I know….
So true about not thinking about previous relationships as roadkill. I’ve learned a lot about myself through past relationships.
It’s also true that we tend to put our best foot forward at first. I remember a friend telling me a longgggg time ago that the truth of who you are always comes out sooner or later and she was right ;)
Always love and appreciate your thoughts and insights, Dana.
I have to admit that it took this old guy quite a bit of time and internalising before I realised the true nature of my past. It’s an easy thing to say that history is a learning experience but it’s quite another thing to actually do the learning and absorb and correct behaviours (if they need to be).
There was a tipping point and quite a few Ahaa moments along the way and I now choose to be a better person than I was before – and I mean that in a daily basis.
This song made me reminisce and it’s stuck in my head once again :) Every relationship really does leave a mark and we will never be the same again. Thanks!
Yep, I’m much the same too, Emilia.
Great song that also makes you think too – kinda rare in today’s music :)
I had Tattoo on repeat when it first came out and I’m still fond of it. I guess any relationship really does leave a mark somehow. Thanks for sharing this enlightening post.
It’s true that some way, we keep coming back for more even if we have failed miserably in the past. I think it’s vital to keep our communication lines open most especially when we disagree on certain matters. Sustaining a fulfilling, nurturing and harmonious relationship depends highly on whether or not we are willing to compromise and love unconditionally. Thanks!
“awakening a new spark within”… nice play on words! Was it intentional?
Another heartfelt article with lots of good points and things to ruminate on. When you write from a place of experience (as you do), your message has all the more impact.
I totally agree with you that the value is in the journey, so approach relationships with your whole self. I see a lot of relationships that have broken down because one party just wasn’t able to give themselves fully (they were holding back for a variety of reasons; past relationship problems, not wanting to to go through a painful break up that they saw happen to their parents… the list is endless). The problem with this approach is you project onto the relationship your fears.
It’s much healthier to be you, give yourself fully, and whatever happens, you will learn and benefit from the experience. Of course there will be downs as well as ups, but it’s the way your respond that makes you who you are.
Great thoughts and suggestions as always, David.
I reflected on the lyrics of the song to my own past experiences and pondered.
It really is true that you both have to do your best to be your own best person, without projecting expectations onto the other person. And that’s freaking hard to do at times. We all have our own wants and needs … every one of us.
So what’s the secret sauce?
Talking, compromise and yearning for the relationship to ultimately have a win-win scenario for all involved.
Thanks so much for your thoughts, mate.
Martin: Very instresting.
Jordan Sparks was new and it was pretty good. She has a nice voice. I have been trying some jazz, rock, and reggie lately. Before that I only listened to hiphop, but too much of that will only polute my mind.
You have a lot of wisdom. Reading your article really impacted my heart. I have only had one love and it did not end well for me. I was in the relationship for almost three years which probably is not that long, but it felt long to me. Lol.
Anyways, after she broke up with me (funny thing is that was after I broke up with her at least 5 times) and we completely stopped talking.
Within a month she had a new boyfriend! That kind of hurt, but I realized that I was just another page in her book. I still have yet to find another girlfriend and it has been well over two years now. I do not even talk to girls, for the most part. Sometimes, I think I am sick . . .
I do not want to talk to girls because my heart is not going to be all the way there. I feel like my heart’s desire is for me to write and so that is what I spend my time doing.
I do not want to have walks in the park or talk on the phone all night.
The only thing that I feel like I have time for is my writing. Everything else I do not really care about. So, I do not waste my time with relationships when I know that they will not work and I will only end up with a broken heart.
Right now, I can only love soft, but I figure someday I will know when I am ready to love hard.
Anyways, my commentluv post pretty much tells the end of my relationship. It might be a bit interesting . . .
This was an awesome article man! I know I wrote a lot, but I had a lot to say. ( :
Hey William. Thank you so much for your kind words and especially your visit to our little patch of Internet Heaven.
Do check out my post on ‘Healing’ in the link below – might make a little more sense for you in other areas.
That said, it does take some time to regroup your thoughts and your love life ‘vision’. Take some time and think about the person you want as your soulmate and give that focus. Be open to opportunity and resist negative speak such as ‘I know that they will not work and end up with a broken heart’. Your mind will make that wish come true for you … over and over.
I wrote years ago to someone on Facebook that the journey to my ultimate love is worth the pain and suffering (Yoda speak required), no matter how many heartaches I experience along the way.
I’ll learn. I’ll lose. Ultimately, I’ll love … that’s the path … that’s the reward.
I had never heard her song before and I loved it. Wow, I remember when I was young and in love. Boy, was that ever a long time ago.
I look at all my past relationships and loves as a learning experience. I’ve always been very open and honest in any relationship and went into them all with an open mind. Of course I know now that I did expect certain things to happen and they usually did. So I brought that upon myself so I can now see all of them as learning experiences for me. I’ve learned to go into relationships with a new perspective.
I am going to include here what I’m grateful for from one of very first loves, my soul mate is what I thought he was at that time. I’d like to thank him for showing me what true love really was. Although we didn’t make it even after five years and an engagement, I know what true love really is and I’ve had my chance to experience it. Some people never do.
Nice post, thanks Martin. I enjoy this one, different from what I usually read in a good way.
Enjoy your weekend.
Well, welcome, welcome, welcome, Adrienne.
So very cool to see you here after so long.
Glad you loved the song too – I’ve always had a sweet spot in my heart for it.
It is actually heartening to realise the love doesn’t necessarily have to last for eternity, that’s a higher level of love, in my opinion.
But to have love, for however short or long a time is certainly worth the effort – a lot of people would rather avoid the pain, despite the gain. Their choice but it has never been mine.
So glad you enjoyed and gained something from reading my post – do recommend others to pop on over and enjoy it as you did. That would certainly be very appreciated if you’re able.
You hit it on this one my friend – Were you talking to me?
To answer your questions first: Great feeling song – so true her words – I wear a lotus tattoo on my wrist and it’s not going anywhere and I love it each time I look at it. 2nd question: Each partner has been a bump in the road. 3rd question – My ex husband taught me the most important of things – to love selflessly – he taught me how to truly love! For that I am grateful!
I believe in LOVE and I had been dating David for 9 months and let him go because I loved him enough to let him go. For if we hold love loosely and not as a possesion then we can let it fly when it needs to fly. The break up hurt him very much and I living in the spirit knew it was the right thing to do. So after a few breakups we are now on the ferris wheel – we had been on the see saw of life – back and forth, back and forth and now after reuniting and realizing who we are as a couple and as individuals – love prevails!
Love does conquer all my friends,
Hey Nancy – Ms June Giveaway Winner! :)
Oh, I so love that saying ‘if we hold love loosely and not as a possession then we can let it fly when it needs to fly’.
If I read that right, David and yourself are reunited now, after a previous breakup, yes? If so, what a truly magic way to truly discover each other’s values and, more importantly, learning and RE-discovering love. Probably in a more nurturing way too, I’d guess.
I guess for me the last part is the hardest, be ok with yourself and move on. We all try to do our best in a relationship and when it fails I think we inevitably blame it on ourselves as well. It doesn’t mean that we don’t forgive or forget , but it sticks with us and it can make us stronger or weaker depending on what we learn from it.
Welcome back, Mariella and thank you so much for your thoughts too.
Certainly, a lot of people do blame themselves. Tattoo interestingly praises the virtue of forgive, learn and move on which is a lesson I never learnt until my first marriage ended. Prior, it was a lot of negative attitude and that’s a kinda crap outlook for anyone.
From your experience though, what’s an example of where you’ve become weaker from something you’ve learnt?