Trust Goes Both Ways
Being trusted is the greatest compliment to a person.
But what if this trust is broken?
We may not always break people’s trust intentionally.
Sometimes one mistake from us is enough to sow the seeds of distrust, even when there are more reasons available to trust us.
Readers of this post, we’re sure are here because they wish to stick to people they love and wish to regain lost trust. It’s difficult, it can be exhausting mentally as well as physically, but if it’s for people we love, the effort is worth making.
The core of connection to any relationship is trust.
But, there’s always moments when we give in to unreasonable temptations.
Maybe you’ve got caught flirting, caught lying to your boss or parents and ditched your best friend, stolen something and so on.
The list could be endless.
We all have situations and times that cost us all that we put into building relationships with the people we love so much.
If you are willing to hang in there and make every possible effort to rebuild your relationship, here are a few tips that can be helpful.
Admit Your Mistakes
There is no turning back if you are not willing to admit your mistakes to yourself and to the people who have been hurt because of your actions.
No one can undo what’s been done, but telling everything honestly and asking for forgiveness by being humble can open the doors to rekindling any relationship.
What breaks most people’s trust is not that we did something unacceptable (we all commit mistakes), but because we tried to hide it, and got caught.
The only way to regain their trust is by being honest about the misdeeds you’ve committed and giving them your side of the story
Dishonoring someone’s faith can be as heartbreaking for people who are hurt, as it is for the culprit.
It’s never easy to mend hearts, sometimes it’s like a wound on the skin, even when healed, it leaves behind an ugly scar.
Well, we hope the problem isn’t that serious, and if it is, be patient with yourself.
Change your habits if needed, mend your ways of doing things, and revert back to your old self that was loved and trusted. In most cases it is change in circumstances that lead us into breaking people’s trust.
You flirted with you colleague in front of your wife maybe because you were drunk and too happy to receive attention from another women.
You stole your friend’s fancy lunch box at school because your parents couldn’t afford it.
It’s all a foul play of changed circumstances.
In order to understand the amount of pain you’ve caused to your loved ones, you’ll need to step inside their shoes.
Be understanding and validate your loved one’s pain, by extending them your empathy.
Agree with how they feel and try to tell them openly that as much as they are hurt, so are you for breaking their heart.
Don’t just tell them you feel their pain, try and share it – be partners with them.
We’re all good at sensing how genuine people’s emotions for us are.
If there is any pretense our heart won’t give it acceptance.
Sincerely assure them that you’ll rectify your mistakes and not repeat them again.
Honor Your Commitment
Maybe in the first place trust was broken because you didn’t honor your commitments, but relationships are full of commitments on a daily basis.
Take up the smaller ones first, and make sure to live through them every day for as long as it takes. Small things, small gestures, honoring small commitments can make a big difference in showing to the other person your willingness to makes efforts.
Remember the first time you tired to establish strong and lasting relationships with people; it took time, patience, pursuance and honoring commitments even if it meant going out of the way.
Repeat this again!
You may get one step closer to fixing what’s broken.
Make People Feel Secure
Loosing people’s trust also means they no longer feel safe in your company.
In the beginning, they may not trust being with you, at home or outside. This will be the hardest test to pass – to pursue them to stay with you, and give you a chance.
Lucky if you get the chance. Make the most of this opportunity, go back to being the old you, make people secured and safe in your company.
When in their company do things they like, in fact get together as often as possible.
Cook with them, watch movies, take a break from the mundane routine.
Give yourself and them a change – plan a holiday, celebrate festivals together.
Do whatever it takes to stay together.
Speak Your Mind Because I Know You Have One
- Can you see how these can get back the trust again?
- Which one makes the most sense to you?
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17 thoughts on “Mending Hearts – How To Regain Broken Trust”
Trust is a tough one. It takes a lot to build it and sometimes not much to break it. Some people test the boundaries of trust when they emotionally push their partners away, either due to stress of insecurity. It takes work on both sides to be in a place that allows for mistakes so that the couple can mutually learn and grow from them.
We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself first and go seek for the forgiveness of others who got hurt in the process. It may not be as easy to obtain the forgiveness but since time heals all wounds, trust that it will be given at the right time.
Really, Emilia truly said it is very difficult to seek forgiveness sometimes it’s very difficult to cop up with relation condition goes to extreme but and it hurts the EGO. But finding your fault and realizing that is the main thing or you can first step to make relation strong
It is hard to regain trust but if done with an honest heart and strong will to work on your relationship then it is really not a big deal. It is rightly said that accepting your mistakes and confiding in your partner is one great step towards gaining their lost trust in you. All tips you have shared are worth a million each. Thanks for sharing the post.
Glad to hear that you like article and found it useful for you.
Dear Trust is basic like you can say it is the foundation of every relationship and keeping that trust is long hard journey it’s not burden but it’s responsibility that you have to carry.
Trust is an essential component in every relationship; in fact, it can be said that is among the foundation which must be continually built for a relationship to remain strong. And for those who truly love, forgiveness is not an impossible task. It can be real difficult at first to have someone break such trust; but when sincere effort is exerted by the other party to regain the trust, forgiveness comes in due time.
Great thoughts there, Arianne.
Sadly, some people can’t forgive, no matter what the effort.
It’s a little like failing to engage and WANT to move forward and getting stuck in their own life rut.
What’s the mental process that you go through to truly forgive?
Trust is the hardest thing to obtain and the easiest to lose. This is, unfortunately, the truth. But trust can be regained, hopefully, by proving love, devotion, regret. Thank you for the article, it is inspiring.
Simona vwey well said trust is the very essential factor in life for healthy relation and takes long time to build but need only few seconds to destroy. Yes, i am absolutely agree with you that it can be rebuild by regretting and showing your faithfulness, love and affection.
Loved the article. I hope my boyfriend would read this.He gets really annoyed when i get mad at him and doesnt realize what he does wrong when he does something to upset me.He tries to act cool sometimes and doesnt act like himself when he is around other people and it annoys me sometimes. So i choose break up.
Wouldn’t you think it’s a better solution to actually tell him he’s screwed up instead of thinking he knows? No man or woman is a mindreader and what is right for one can be wrong with the other.
It’s true! It took me some time to trust in somebody again after a very bad love experience. Me and my now partner were very patient and he encouraged me to move forward.
One of the biggest problems a lot of people have is that they can’t admit when they’re wrong. I know that I have a lot of trouble doing that in my marriage. It’s a very common problem. I think trust goes hand-in-hand with honesty because you’re making yourself vulnerable and, more importantly, not making excuses for yourself. I feel like that’s what we need more of in the world — we’re so absorbed with our own pride. That’s why many people don’t trust each other. :(
Hey Felicia – takes guts to admit you have trust issues.
How do you actually deal with it in your marriage though?
I’m interest to better understand how others cope and what your husband does and how he reacts.
Mind sharing a little more?
Too true Mike.
I always hear that once you break trust with someone that you can’t get it back. Personally I think that’s a load of bullshit. Granted, it does take some effort, providing you actually care to do it but it’s in the doing and not the taking, isn’t it?
I think it’s also a mindset thing too. You know, you have to give a damn about the other person in the first place and a lot of people these days really don’t.
You get what I mean, Mike?
Very Well said Mitch it’s very difficult to regain trust once it break with someone. Our life is like Bicycle that runs on two wheels if one breaks then you can’t win the race. I think for long lasting relationship we need to put our partner on priority and have to leave the ego. It takes time to build trust but it takes few seconds to lost. So, don’t blame and mess your partnerfor little things and make your partner feel like special one.
Gotta agree with you there, Mike and Mitch
One for Mike: In your experience and when trust has been lost (or severely damaged), how best does the one who ‘did the deed’ convince the betrayed person to give them another shot at restoring the trust?