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I want him to always be my friend…
But a clear head is difficult to accomplish with all that i carry with me on a daily basis. I have many times compared my relationship with him to a drug addiction. And i would be lying if i said i didn't like the cuddling and that he keeps it from his GF on some sick level. It shows me that he still cares, and wants to be close to me. Especially with the absence of sex, it means that much more. I know it needs to stop. But my feelings for him do not change. I have dated other people since him. But i have not been intimate with anyone, nor have i really let anybody have the chance to get into my heart, because i am still hung up on him. I would never ask him to choose between us, because i believe that the person who does that is not the one who gets chosen. I can absolutely try. But i love him. And i know it may not be the case, but i feel like i always will.