What you want to avoid IS being too possessive and clingy which is why I suggested to date again. By that, I meant to cool the relationship down a little. There’s a lot of relationship stress going on at the moment so you’ve got to seriously chill out and take a step back.
By doing that, it also allows him to better understand the value that you hold in his life. This is exactly like a long distance relationship and the challenges they have all the time.
I can tell your boyfriend is trying to sort things out in his head and this is often times an involved process especially when you consider the number of different stress areas he’s got going on in his life. Your relationship with him is just one of them so maybe it’s a matter of chilling things back a little, act as a friend instead of a girlfriend and look at helping as a friend would help? Could you do that?
As it turns out, in all relationships, there isn’t an instant fix or silver bullet as much as you’d love all the mess to magically go away. It’s about learning about your partner and they about you.