Home Forums Relationships General Relationships how to re- Connect after the spiral downfall Reply To: how to re- Connect after the spiral downfall

Yvonne
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Post count: 42

I’m still unaware if you two are cohabitating as well – that has an impact.
YV: no we do not live together we actually live 45 minutes to an hour apart.

That said, I’m glad you’re seeing where some of your behaviour has added pressure to the situation.
YV: I do and we had a conversation last night were I told him that now Im aware of the pressure I was placing on him and how the conversations we have been have been having were not fun anymore and that since I am 100% aware of it that I can change that. I told him Im willing to do make the changes we have always been saying we would make to better us and not just untill things settle down but for good.

And it is actually a great discovery that he still feels strongly about you, shows affection and sayd he loves you – those are strong indicators the two of you have a good connection together.
YV:how can he say he loves me and do all the mushy kissing on the phone when at the same time he says he doesnt feel the connection. Even when I asked him last night if this was worth working out and if we could get back the connection he said its definitely possible. But he still says he feels a connection was lost. I really do feel bad about this because I feel like this is all my fault for the way I was pressuring him and now I want nothing more than to fix it.

What he is likely to be thinking is the added pressure and stress you past line of questioning has placed on him. Think of it as him thinking the fun has evaporated. Too much serious talk now and the casual nature of your early times has gone.
YV: he did say this was the reason “the fun is gone, all our conversations are serious nothing normal about the conversations its been like this for a little while but i know your a great girl”

One strategy might be to admit to him where you yourself have gone too heavy and suggest you both try dating again. Shows you’re serious. Gives him the option to lighten up and make a choice on direction.
YV: I did tell him I know what my mistakes were and that i can fix them now. He said he does think we can get the connection back “possibility”. How to I get this from being a possibility to being an actual thing?
Is there any hope? and am I the only problem right now because of my pressuring?